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Original poster

bra help please for those (me) with saggy baggy boobs?

28 replies

shelley72 · 16/04/2012 08:43

ok so i need to boost my confidence (and my boobs). caught sight of myself in the mirror last night and cried. my boobs are a shadow of their former selves - i think I am about a 34C/B? pregnancy, BF for few years, weight loss and probably my age has left me tiny and 'empty'. what type of bra could i try to lift everything up and get that fuller feeling up top back?

we only have M&S and Debenhams around here by way of getting measured, but I really dont feel i could go and get that done. I am horrified by the way I look. I was a bit unkind to DH for not telling me that it was all so awful - he said no need as i look fine - but still, I feel really sorry that Ive lost all my curves.

I need a confidence boost, I need a nude bra for summer to wear under white. I would also like something really gorgeous to make me feel attractive again. Am still BF, but would love to wear normal bras again, even if its just when I am out of the house!

I have tried the moulded bras on, but my top half doesnt fill the cup and I am left with a big gap at the top. what should i be trying?

OP posts:

shadowland · 16/04/2012 09:25

As a 50 something yr old with boobs that seem to have a life of their own as they increase in size, I have struggled with finding bras. I have needed to be 'measured' and it really is not embarrassing at all as you keep your bra on, and the knowledgeable assistant uses her tape measure to measure round the bust and then she tells you what size you are. I then gave her an idea of the type of bra I wanted and she went off to collect some, knowing what might be suitable. I have found that each shop, and even each brand, seems to be have different sizes for the inches...very strange and frustrating. Good luck, I'm sure you'll find something out there - there are some really pretty bras in all shapes and sizes, including those half way down the alphabet, sigh, at last.

Witco · 16/04/2012 09:35

I will watch this one with interest. I too caught sight of myself in a mirror over the weekend and wondered who the matronly woman was with the saggy boobs :(. I'm a 38F so there's a lot to accommodate!

PlentyOfPubeGardens · 16/04/2012 09:41

I'm a dangly 34AA and have had good results with the M&S 2 sizes bigger bra. If I roll them up and tuck them in just right, I get a bit of cleavage Don't know what they'd be like for BF though.

MyDogShitsShoes · 16/04/2012 09:42

Marking my place. My after-baby boobs make me weep.

I am also now blessed with one significantly bigger than the other. Do I stuff the little one or squish the bigger one? It's a pickle and no mistake.

The purchase of ladies foundation garments has become a chore. I await your teachings oh wise ones!

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 16/04/2012 09:43

If you can get to John Lewis, I'd recommend their fitting service.
I'm as self-conscious as they come but I get fitted every time, they're so matter-of-fact and have really seen all shapes and sizes.
Plus I've been much happier with the result than anywhere else I've been - including Rigby & Peller and Bravissimo.
If you say where you live, someone on MN might know of a good independent retailer - never found one that's fitted me successfully myself but I've heard they do exist!
There are bras which suit people who don't fill the top of the cup, btw - but it's such a fag having to troll in and out of the changing rooms to try different sizes - us you'll probably end up a completely different size from what you think you are, so it's really best to go for a fitting.

polyhymnia · 16/04/2012 09:48

My advice would be to try to get to a really good place for proper measurement and advice. I recommend Rigby and Peller if possible. Lots of gorgeous bras there. They are helpful and knowlwdgeable and not in the least judgmental as they deal with every shape and size, so no need to worry about getting fitted.

John Lewis may be good too - I'm sure people on here have had experience of them.

I really think getting the right bra is worth a special trip, as it's so key to the rest of the way you look and feel - a bit like hair.

Once you have the advice and right bra for you, you can then order more online.

QueenCadbury · 16/04/2012 13:39

The only bra I wear now is the panache superbra t shirt bra. It's the only thing that gives me any shape! It was trial and error though just trying on lots until I found 'the one'. Debenhams normally have a good selection of brands. I personally don't get on with m&s bras. Otherwise order a load from figleaves to try at home as returns are easy. I also found that it didn't hugely matter what size I was measured as different styles of bras fit differently.

InNeedOfNewClothes · 16/04/2012 14:51

I have the same problem when I wear moulded bras, where my boobs don't fill the cup and I am left with a big gap at the top. I have found that balcony bras are now my best option, maybe go a try a few of those on? The only problem is that balcony bras aren't great under a smooth t-shirt, so I still wear a moulded cup sometimes.

FoxPass · 16/04/2012 15:51

I have the same problem! I have always relied on Wonderbras to give me shape, but their quality is crap now so recently I have bought 2 Ultimo bras. They are amazing! The silicone inserts somehow work better for me than foam padding, helping shape and uplift my boobs, and provided you get ones which have lace cups, rather than ones with big seams, you don't get that horrid 'step' effect from boob to bra IYSWIM.

I also agree a balcony bra style is more flattering.

They are not cheap but so worth it, and they have some really pretty designs. Go to debenhams and get measured and try a few on. Ultimo have made my boobs look nice again and I'm so chuffed about it :)

Bunbaker · 16/04/2012 17:09

"I have the same problem when I wear moulded bras, where my boobs don't fill the cup and I am left with a big gap at the top."

It sounds like you are trying on the wrong size.

sobenobu · 16/04/2012 18:14

I have to say that I disagree with Bunbaker.
I just can't wear a moulded bikini or bra cup any longer after DC and BF. They are still a 32E but not in the top half, so I choose balconies - Freya and Panache.

PuffPants · 16/04/2012 18:21

Me to QueenCadbury! I only discovered them recently thanks to the lovely fitter at John Lewis. They're the best bras I've had in ages.

PuffPants · 16/04/2012 18:21

Too not to

HepHep · 16/04/2012 23:29

My boobs do that flat on top thing, too :( Lurking... (I'm about a 36C, post DS I think)

Original poster

shelley72 · 17/04/2012 13:00

Thank you for the replies. Its good to know that Im not the only one with this problem!!! I have now ordered lots based on your suggestions - the M&S 2 size bigger, an M&S padded balcony, M&S perfect fit, a Calvin Klein moulded bra from JL and Im going to town tomorrow to try and get an ultimo. Cant link, as on phone. I looked at the panache and it looked lovely, but they are all too big for me now.
I am hoping that something i have ordered will fit, and that i can stuff my boobs in to make the top half look fuller

OP posts:

polyhymnia · 17/04/2012 15:30

Hope some work out OK, if you can face it, a proper fitting, somewhere such as John Lewis, is the best way to make sure it's easier in future to get the right bra.

sobenobu · 17/04/2012 20:47

Are you sure you're wearing the right size though?

I was measured at M&S and was wearing 34B/C for years before going to Bravissimo for a 30E then a 32E. I can guess someones size from a mile off now (and also if they're wearing the right bra! - and I used to work with a fitter)

Original poster

shelley72 · 18/04/2012 16:48

ok bit of an update, i have now been to JL as suggested polyhymnia and it was indeed as awful as i imagined .

I measured a 34c, but they couldnt find ANYTHING to fit (i am looking for a nude colour padded bra to wear under white in the summer). apparently being flat up top is quite common and the lady suggested that i could try a gel bra to provide uplift once more. BUT nothing she brought in fitted correctly as she said my ribs are too 'sticky outy' which meant that the bit in the middle was gaping away from my body. moulded cups left me with lots of room at the top and some i tried just flattened the rest of my chest.

so i left on point of tears at having such a crap body, and with no bra. what else can i try (short of surgery)?

OP posts:

slug · 18/04/2012 16:55

If the bit in the middle is gaping away from your body, it will be because the back size is too big. It is not because you have a weird body. I'm a big girl, I wear a size 18 dress and my back size is 34. Get thee down to Bravissimo or Rigby and Peller. You are probably more like a 32 or even 30 D.

scotsgirl23 · 18/04/2012 16:56

The gaping away in the middle suggests they had the size wrong to be honest. I was previously told the same re having a weird chest and they were trying me in the wrong size. Normally it gaping in the middle means the cup size is too small.

Although I am a bigger size, I have a similar issue re being kind of empty up top - I have a big cup size but my chest doesn't look anything like as big as it actually sizes up because of the shape. Funnily enough, it was JL I had this problem with too. I think when they are looking for a good fit they tend to check if you are bulging over the top of the cups, but I don't tend to do that with a lot of bras because of the shape. So for me, to determine if the cup is right, the wires being in the right place gives quite a good indicator.

Also (tries not to be crude) was she putting you 'in' the bra properly. When I put a bra on I tend to lean forward and pull everything in to the cup, if I don't do this the size looks totally wrong.

scotsgirl23 · 18/04/2012 16:57

Slug is also correct btw - for me, the gaping wire was too small a cup and to big a back in combo.

GoblersKnob · 18/04/2012 17:59

As other have said is is naff all to do with your ribs. I do have very sticky out bottom ribs but the center core (to give it's correct name) lies perfectly flat on me in a correctly fitted bra, the cups were too small.

Watch this really good bra fitting vidoe to learn a bit more about what you are looking for.

What are your actual measurements? Wearing a bra, measure around the chest under your bust and then around the fullest part of your bust.

I have quite droopy boobs that are very empty at the top, but they look fab in a bra (bit of a let down whan it comes off) I particually like Curvy Kate bras and most of all their 'Emily' bra it gives really good shape.

polyhymnia · 18/04/2012 18:19

Sorry you had such a horrid experience. I'm sure it's them, not your body who are at fault. I've seen good reports of JL on here, but this particular branch doesn't seem to have lived up to them.

I don't think Rigby and Peller, who are the only people I've been fitted by, would be so unhelpful - I have a huge bust, which most shops couldn't cope with, and they're always helpful and constructive with me. But I realise they may not be easy to get to as all their stores are in London, except one in Cambridge.

Original poster

shelley72 · 18/04/2012 20:23

I am on phone so will check out that video later on, but thank you all. polyhymnia if I'm ever in london I think I will go for a fit, as long as they do bras for little chests! And I think I will try a smaller band too slug and scotsgirl, as she did ask me first off what size I usually wear as I'm just under a 34

OP posts:

ShotgunNotDoingThePans · 18/04/2012 23:01

I'm sorry you had a bad experience too - must be the Bristol branch of JL that's a shining beacon then (although I used to go to Peter Jones who are now part of JL I think and they were fab as well).

I agree it sounds like your cup was too small and the band too big. I'm amazed at what she said about the gaping in the middle - she obviously hasn't been trained properly or paid attention to what she was taught.

I must say, I have a 14 yo daughter who's just been measured as 30D, which amazed both of us as she looks tiny, but the fitter explained the wires have to accommodate the tissue right up to the armpit, which is how her bras fit now.
So don't assume yours or the poorly trained fitter's c-cup estimation is correct.
You could quite easily be a D, E or F if fitted properly (and likely a 32/30 in the band).

And I've had a couple of those nearly-crying-in-the-changing-room moments - House of Fraser(twice), M&S and Debenhams in my case. It's worth perservering, though - makes such a difference when you get it right.

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