hyper pigmentation help! Please I'm so down. I know it's pathetic.

[franjipani]

I have an autoimmune disease called scleroderma. It's affects my skin and joints. I'm in pain quite a bit and I'm managing it as much as possible. I'm being referred to the Royal Free Hospital, which is the centre of excellence for the disease. So that's positive.

This may make me sound as shallow as a puddle but the disease has given me really bad hyper pigmentation. I get spots, then they heal and leave a white spot. My face is pretty badly scarred. I hide it well but people are shocked when they see what my face really looks like. On top of this I have pcos and I get cystic acne. I was on antibiotics but I would like to ttc dc2 in the near future so I have stopped and the spots have come back.

On top of that, I have thread veins on my cheeks and really open pores. My skin is sensitive. I've been told its normal rather than oily with dry patches on the cheeks and forehead.

I'm a total sucker for products. I read s &b and you talk about it, I try it! (i have an imaginary blog in my head and could tell you all you need to know about fake tan). OCM was too harsh and so was the sonicleanse. So rather than try to deal with my problem skin, I just want to try to hide it.

I have tried loads of BB's, got sucked into trying bare esscentuals (inc the primer which just seems to highlight the problems), By Terry, and Bobbi Brown stuff. Nothing gives me and even skin tone unless I load my face with powder. I'm 35 and the cakey look doesn't help!

Sorry to sound self-indulgent but I'm so down about this. I realise people deal with far worse and that makes me feel shitter. I know this is vanity on my part but its also taking control for me. As I said, I'm in pain a lot and if I could just make myself look less shit on the outside I really think it would help.

Any ideas for covering up a bit without accenting the wrinkles? Pretty please? Are the cover up make up brands any good?

Thanks if you have read this far, I know s &b should be light! I'm rubbish at emoticons too!

whats budget?

I love la prairie caviar foundation, leaves skin amazingly even and glowing! although very expensive????

I'm not worried about budget at the moment, ESP as I have wasted so much money already. I'd just love to try something that works. If it's that expensive, I'd prob ask for a sample first.

Thanks so much for reply, how has it worked for you eggs?

hi:) i suffer with large pores and uneven skin tone, tried loads of cover foundations to even out complexion but found this was the only one that lasted and make my skin look and feel amazing! plus i get loads of complements on my skin when i wear it . most house of fraser and john lewis stores seem to stock, the only thing i can say is try it!!!! [take a small pot with you you incase they dont have your colour in sample form, they should be more than happy to pop some in for you to try at home once youve been colour matched ] keep us posted on how you get on!

Will do! Thanks so much x

good luck:) x

me again, just to let you know its not cakey, i have tried bare es make up too and found my pores seemed to double in size........... [buhmm]

Same here!! Also irritates my skin. On top of that I have had the shittest haircut ever, so whilst that grows I need to sort my face out!

How long does it tend to last? Do you use linked products?

Estee lauder double wear is great so perhaps get a sample of that as well. Clinques pore minimiser was good for helping to hide pores but you can't get it anymore [busad] I'm yet to find a replacement but I do find a bit of concealer on the worst spots - my nose and cheeks helps a bit.

Estee lauder night repair serum is amazing for acne marks in my experience but I get the red ones so not sure if it will help.

morning, it lasts a good 6 months plus:) i havent been using linked products at the mo due to cost, have been usings neals yard and am like it! you can get it from boots! nothing worse than bad hair, go get it recut will make you feel loads better. x

Thanks both.

I already use the Estée Lauder advanced repaire night serum. Sometimes I use the idealist serum in the day. how long untill you noticed an improvement itchy ? I'm not sure they are doing anything but they don't aggravate my skin. I don't get on with the Estée Lauder foundations, though I have only tried samples. They seemed patchy on me. Could be as I have so many bumpy and rough patches on my face though...

I used to use that Clinique pore minimiser too!

The problem with my scarecut is that I had the cut, got it corrected and it just looks worse! Think I will just have to wait it out.

I am more and more tempted by la prairie...

Thanks so much for replying both of you, especially as the title was so needy!
[bublush]

I don't have anything useful to add on the skincare front, but I just wanted to say that I don't think it's pathetic at all! I know how much how you look can affect your self esteem, especially if it's anything to do with your face. My self esteem issues were to do with my legs (evil varicose veins that I've just had removed) but at least I could ignore them most of the time. Living in Scotland there are only a few times a year when you'd want to have bare legs anyway.

I hope your search for face products is successful

Thanks! That is such a kind thing to say.

The marks on my face and spots and rough patches feel like a constant reminder of what's going on inside with the scleroderma.

As for products, you name it, feels like I've tried it! I am a marketing manager's wet dream!! However, trying to take a bit of control back from the problem does make you feel a bit better about it, be it getting your veins sorted or spending the weekly shopping bill on a foundation (as I am planning!)

It didn't take long, a few days maybe - I use the serum on active acne and it reduces the inflammation and the redness. Not completely but better then nothing!

Thanks Itchy I will give that a go.

I have also bitten the bullet and got some La Prairie foundation. it looked great on in the store. Will report back!

Are you in London or Essex, or can you get to London or Essex?

If so, I would really consider a consultation with Dr Lucy Glancey

She is an aesthetic surgeon and doctor.

Her clinic deals with many if not all of the problems you mention. She could zap your thread veins with intense pulsed light, she could prescribe you a medical grade pharmeceutical product for your hyperpigmentation, she could help you with your acne as well, and if applicable could recommend a treatment for your scars (the right kind of peel or laser resurfacing, that kind of thing).

The cost is not as much as you might think and the chance of it actually working is much greater as its all based on clinical evidence.

Good luck

franjipani - if you are having a problem with vitiligo or just pigment changes after scarring or skin healing, there is a kind of camouflage makeup that the dermatologists know of that goes on without looking like you've put on full panto makeup. It hides colour differences better than coverup stick or foundation. We saw it being used and it's amazing - an absolute godsend for patients who have had scarring or vitiligo problems. I can't remember the name or where to get it, but I am quite certain it's a lot cheaper than La Prairie (but by all means use the La Prairie if it works!).

If you ask the Royal Free or even your GP to get you a consultation with a consultant dermatologist (I am guessing you are going to the Royal Free for their rheumatology dept?) they should be able to get you the info - or in fact if your doctor (either your rheumatologist or GP) just rang a consultant dermatologist on the phone they should be able to get you the name without a formal consultation perhaps. Tell them it's called "camouflage".

It seems that the reason why a lot of commercial makeup doesn't work for this problem it's that it's not covering skin with just one skin colour; you're almost trying to put makeup on two or three different faces with different skin pigmentation and colour.

By the way, it's not self indulgent at all - scleroderma can leave your face very "battle scarred"; if we can provide prosthetic limbs for people who have lost limbs in battle, it is reasonable to provide something to recover your "lost" face.

I wish you all the best and hope you find a great solution.

Thanks both.

I can get to London easily, so will def check out the clinic. Tatty, I may have to wait until next month after my expensive shopping trip for makeup yesterday.

Kipper, yes, I have been referred to the rheumatology department at the Royal Free. I will put the camouflage makeup on my list of questions to ask. I was previously seeing both a dermatologist and rheumatologist privately but the health insurance provision has run out. I didn't feel that the dermatologist took my skin concerns seriously. In fact I felt like a bit of a time waster!

ooh you got some:) hope you love it x

I don't think you're shallow at all. Our face is the first thing that we present to the world, after all!

I have thread veins by the side of my nose, and I am very self-conscious about them. I've had them treated in different ways - initially tiny injections, then IPL (laser) and more recently with electrolysis, which seems to be the most successful.

I would recommend that you explore this option as well as the others here.

(I also suffer from menopausal/hormonal acne, so you have all my sympathies!)

just bumping to see if your around? if so hows things going?

Hi, am really pleased with the foundation. Looks alarmingly orange in the pot but think it looks ok on. It really stays put too. Am not used to going without powder after foundation but think that would be a waste with LP.

I got my appointment at the Royal Free through today. 11th May so not long to wait.

I'm looking into all the things which people have kindly suggested. So grateful, thanks x