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expert help please - received invitation to "posh" wedding - outfit advice needed

40 replies

katiewins22 · 25/03/2012 10:10

hello. A good friend of mine who i shared a flat with nearly 20 years ago - from solid working class background is getting married to her titled partner. Luckily she has stayed the same grounded Newcastle girl who used to eat toast with me in the middle of the night - when crying over boyfriends. In fact she has managed to soften her partner around the edges too. When I first met him he was a bit pompous and I felt he just tolerated her friends but now he seems to take himelf less seriously and having got to know him - he is a really good guy - we are pleased for them.

Well - postie came yesterday with invitation - for all of us - so lovely that she has invited children too. It is the 9th JUne. The wedding is going to be at an old church where all her partners family have been christened/married and buried . Then back to the family home (his family) with a marquee and string quartet greetingpeople and the whole high society thing.

WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR? partner will be ok - he has some expensive suits and can get him a good tie and shirt etc. Then again - I had best check the invitation whether there is a dress code for him. Children will be easy to sort out - I hope. I AM THE PROBLEM. Not lost as much weight as I have been hoping for in recent months and really cannot spend a fortune on outfit.

I would like something that I might wear again (not essential though). I do not want anything body hugging but at the same time do not want to look like I am 20 years older than the bride. I could spend £100 - any ideas of great wedding oufits.

My style is casual .. I confess I wear a lot of Boden. I do not do floral. I like simple, stylish, ageless but I don't know where to start. Please help me. I am excited and pleased that she is getting married and invited us but I could end up gettting anxious about my outfit and don't want to spend time worrying or panic buying. PLEASE HELP. WILL BE SO GRATEFUL. oh - this could be important as may exclude some outfits - I am currently wearing mainly size 16 :( Katie

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FauxFox · 25/03/2012 10:19

I know this is overbudget but this dress looks flattering and classic and you could resell on ebay and get most of your money back if you don't want to wear it again.

Also get your hair professionally blow dried - makes a big difference. And don't be intimidated - really, really posh people are often covered in dog hair and wearing something that hasn't been dry cleaned for years!

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katiewins22 · 28/04/2012 09:10

sorry forgot aout this thread. thanks for lk bennett suggestion but it is way over budget and lk bennett clothes always seem a small fit so never look right on me.

It is 9th june so have a bit of time yet but would really like to be sorted sooner - i dont want to be trying outfits on the day before the weedding - i have done that before now.

i have seen a few outifts on john lewis/house of fraser websites and thinking of ordering a few for home delivery . What do people know about sizing of Alexon clothes? Phase Eight clothes? Kaliko? Are they gnerous sizes. I am generally in a 16 but am 38F cup size so sometimes opt for a size 18 top. Only certain will suit my shape. I also have biggish tummy and dont want to display it all day. i would like a non figure hugging dress.

I would prefer calf length rather than sitting on the knee length. please help - it is a posh do and i want to look good. Style and Beauty experts please work your magic Grin. TIA Kate.

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Eggrules · 28/04/2012 11:08

I have large boobs and have a few weddings coming up and so have looked extensively for outfits.

House of Fraser has a Minuet concession and I suggest you go for in to try some things on. I am not petite however their clothes really suit my figure.

I have this and it is beautiful on. Dresses in the sale are a very reasonable £30.

Phase Eight Verity is mentioned a bit on S&B threads. It is a lovely style however it didn't fit well and was too tight on the top/massive on the bottom.

Pepperberry is made fur fuller figures and they have a fantastic sale on at the moment.

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NanetteCarter · 28/04/2012 11:51

What about this phase eight

a different version brown

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NanetteCarter · 28/04/2012 11:53

Sorry I'm not an expert, by the way!

saw a jacket that would go over the cream one? jacket

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tethersend · 28/04/2012 12:18

I would go for something like this or this.

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topsmart · 28/04/2012 12:21

I had the same predicament last year an found that Damsel in a Dress (John Lewis stock them) do lots of wedding-suitable frocks which aren't too girly, and are stylish and modern without being too fashiony. Mine was under £100. Got a lot f wear out of it so far! I'll try to find a link...

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topsmart · 28/04/2012 12:24

Drat, can't find my one. But here's their http://www.damselinadress.co.uk/

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topsmart · 28/04/2012 12:25

www.damselinadress.co.uk/
Hope it works this time!

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katiewins22 · 15/05/2012 17:40

ok- just spent the day in Manchester shopping with a stylish friend and have returned home with NOTHING. The things I liked she kept shaking her head at and if I had taken her advice I probably wouldnt be allowed in the church Shock She is stylish but she is also size 10 - why did I take her - she doesn't understand my problems.

I have 4 weeks left but I really want to spend the last week doing nice things like getting hair cut, nails done and all that nonsense in between going to work. I dont want to be getting stressed and running to M&S in my lunch break for a frumpy frock (nothing wrong with M&S but whenever I look I cant find a frock for me).

So I am appealing to those who know about these things. I am rotund - having spent a day trying dresses on I realise I am more rotund than I thought. Not in one particular place - just all over. I thought I could get away with 16/18 but I really need an 18-20 and they need to be cut on the loose side. I had a horrible experience in one shop today when the dress looked bigger than it was and I felt as though I was going to have to be cut out of it.

I need something below knee - but not maxi.
Preferably with arms - but can live without that - as can cover up
I dont want a PROM DRESS as I am a mature woman
I want stylish - not too patterned but not sure about plain
I think MONSOON might be the place but in MONSOON today I could not find a thing.
I have huge norks (knorks) - whatever GOK calls them - I think I need a scoop neck or v neck but not a high neck as they will look even bigger. I really dont wanttoo low as dont want them jumping out and frightening the Vicar though or any of the titled relatives as I would like to be invited to the Anniversary party.
I just want to look like a sophisticated grown up woman but I dont want to look like my Gran. PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME.

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UML · 15/05/2012 17:47

Have you browsed through coast?

www.coast-stores.com/

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MrsCampbellBlack · 15/05/2012 17:49

Can I ask how old you are and also how tall?

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mirpuppet · 15/05/2012 17:50

I am sure other ladies will help.

I will suggest that you book yourself into Selfridges, John Lewis, and House of Fraser for personal shopping.

The staff will know the stock -- you have a very specific list. I would go to all three stores because they carry different stock and you will then what all your options are.

Good luck.

As you found out today trying before you but is essential and you need an entire outfit not just a dress, accessories, shoes, etc.

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suiledonn1 · 15/05/2012 17:50

Have you looked at Wallis, Simply Be, Very websites?

I am a size 18 and have several Monsoon dresses I wore for weddings. Here is a link to one I have - it is very flattering.

Not sure they have anything similar in stock at the mo but it might give you an idea
www.polyvore.com/monsoon_accessorize_tequila_spot_dress/thing?id=3902721

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MrsCampbellBlack · 15/05/2012 17:53

phase eight This shape and pattern would be flattering.

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BananaramaLlama · 15/05/2012 17:53

Have you tried pepperberry? It's the clothes bit of bravissimo so cut for big boobs. There's another thread atm (does my bum look big one) where the OP has posted pics of a v flattering dress.

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bakingaddict · 15/05/2012 17:54

Why not browse some magazines for ideas and then take whatever dress you like to a local dressmaker that way you might get yourself one that's cut a bit more to and flatters your figure. If you dont know any locally then just bin my crap advice

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Butwhatdoyoudoallday · 15/05/2012 17:55

Wallis have a flash sale on today and seem to have some good stuff - order everything you think might work and return the ones you reject. I have ended up with something from there for a v posh military wedding in a couple of weeks - and it was only £32!

One thing for a v smart wedding is, I think, to wear a hat. It will instantly posh up any weddingy outfit to uber smart. Both BHS and M&S do inexpensive ones that can make a £20 dress look £££££

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UML · 15/05/2012 18:27
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katiewins22 · 15/05/2012 19:46

Thanks you all.

UML - I dont suit COAST - I dont know why - I just dont.

Mrs Campbell Black - I am 5ft 6 (i think) and I am in 40s (nearer 40 than 50 - 44 next week actually). Had terrible time in Phase Eight dress today - cant talk about it.

mirpippet - i just spent all day with a friend who used to workas a stylist on photo shoots for Vogue - many years ago but she is uber stylish and cool- she couldnt help me and I cant face another day looking at outfits with a real person feeling sorry for me. Sorry to be so negative.

suiledonn1 - I love that dress - can i have it - only joking - I wonder if it is in monsoon outlet anywhere - when did you buy it. I think that would be perfect.

I dont think I have time for a dressmaker - or do I? There is a good one a colleague used but I am sure it took a long time.

I have never bought from Simply Be or Very . This is going to sound awful but I have always thought they would be poor quality - please tell me if I am wrong.

I ordered some from Pepperberry and they came lasst week - they didnt suit - the body lengths all seemed wrong and they just didnt loook right. All went back yesterday.

Glanced at Wallis website last week but only things that caught my eyer were maxis and can't wear to this wedding - would just be wrong.

I think I need to just wear a huge sack - maybe decorate it with a few feathers or jewels. Sorry - but I have had a miserable day as I could see my friend was trying her best but she is used to shopping and everything fits - I was getting more down as the day went on. I may look around for that lovely spottty monsoon dress though - something like that appeals.

Sorry somebody posed a black and white dress link but it was too high necked. I know GOK always says if you have got it show it or flaunt it or something - and although I dont want to frighten the horses with my norks/knorks (how do spell it) I know that when I wear something with high neckline it just makes them look bigger and matronly. Thanks - hopefully something will jump out at me in next few weeks. K.

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MrsCampbellBlack · 15/05/2012 19:57

Have you tried jigsaw?

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nowahousewife · 15/05/2012 19:58

I know you've tried Pepperberry but from someone who also has huge norks they are very good. Just make sure you order dresses in stretchy fabric ideally with a crossover or twist at the front. Also order each dress in two sizes and get a trusted friend (or v honest teenage daughter) to tell you which one like best.

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katiewins22 · 15/05/2012 20:06

i will have another look at perpperberry. i ordered the outfits i liked though and they didnt fit right and i didnt really like look of any others for me - they dont have a huge selection. do you know of any other places that do for bigger bust size? I have been told o

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MistyB · 15/05/2012 20:06

A personal shopper should never make you feel that they feel sorry for you!! I walked into a department store complete with post three kids body and image issues and the fantastic assistant picked a dress off the rack and said try this on and you are done!! She was so right, she got my body shape in one look and solved all my problem areas and accentuated my good bits in one hit! I tried on 15 other dresses and none came close. Without her, I would have left the shop feeling rubbish as my choices / assumptions on what would look good were so wrong!

I would go on your own, put your best hold it in, push it up underwear on, do your makeup, blow dry your hair and have a few drops of confidence essence (Bach flower remedy like rescue remedy, sold in boots!) and give the personal shopper a go!!

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suiledonn1 · 15/05/2012 20:09

It is a fab dress. I have it in green although I prefer the colour I linked to.
There is a size 20 on ebay

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Mo.nsoon-Tequila-fuschia-spot-dress-BNWT-size-20-EU-48-US-16-/150798891166?pt=UK_Women_s_Dresses&hash=item231c50789e

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