i hate my hair more than anything. ALways have. what can I do? Please please please help!

[ErnesttheBavarian]

My hair is very thin, very fine, can't be layered, can't grow long, doesn't suit me short, so it permanently a shoulder length bob. It is also v. whispey (sp?) and fizzy, slightly improved with straightening, but not much.

Started going grey a while back. Started dying. I can't get a colour that is like mine (just plain old brown) they all look reddey or well, just wrong. I would like to stop dying it, as it always looks shit anyway, bout then there's ages with bad roots, and forever looking ancient with loads of grey. I put hairdressers on a par with dentist, almost phobia level.

I wish I could just wear a hat the whole time. I have no skill and no desire to spend lots of time and money on it.

What's the solution? Is there one. I feel daily ashamed to go out and people see my head disaster.

I think you need to invest in seeing a really good hair dresser - look for a 5 star salon and book in to see a colour expert who can advise you properly. I think it's worth every penny if you are that miserable.

Re the colouring, you could try switching to semi-permanent colour while you grow it out. That way your roots would be less obvious when the colour fades.

tbh, I'd rather go down the disguising/hiding route. I've been to so many hairdressers over the year. It takes a huge amount of effort to get me through the door. I am always unhappy with the result, either because it's plain wrong, (layers DO NOT work on my hair) or it looks stupid, or I can't maintain it or whatever.

I know I can only have shoulder length hair, I know I can't have layers. I will not be able to go regularly to a hairdressers to maintain some colour, so re colour my options are stop altogether or home dying, I think realistically I need to stop altogether. Which mean grey even more horrible haitr.

So I need a way to hide my hair without looking stupid. I guess I have now come to that conclusion. But how?

Would you perhaps consider wearing a wig? There are some amazing real hair wigs out there that don't look at all wiggy. Super convenient, easy to style and you can have a nearly right style customised to become exactly what you want. A good wig doesn't have to be hot, uncomfortable or look fake.

What about a wig? You can get amazingly real looking wigs now at reasonable prices and it would be a one time expense. All you'd have to do then to your own hair is wash it. Sounds drastic, but hairpieces are so widely used now, and it's not like you have anything to lose. You could just try some on and if you don't like it you don't have to buy it.

I have for years only half jokingly said I should get a wig. Where do you get them from? Are they off the peg? custom made? expensive?

Dying and straightening will not be helping. Agree with a semi perm dye to help while growing it out. Use heat protection when straightening and a serum to help with frizzy bits and condition your hair well. How is your diet? That will have a huge influence on how your hair grows.

Mental health will also have a huge effect so if you are depressed or stressed get yourself to the docs to get that sorted first. xx

hair has always been terrible. MH good, diet good, hair shit

Sorry - crossed posts there with Lthewife. I'm not sure where the best place is to get a wig. I looking to get one myself a couple of years ago and I found tons on the internet (& not on tranny sites either!) My mate is a hairdressing teacher - I'll ask her & post back.

The best bet is looking for a local wig specialist. They should have access to a number of different manufacturers and offer free consultations where they can measure you up and let you try on different styles and colours etc. A real hair wig can cost between £200 and £2000+, but at the top of that price range you're looking at getting a 100% human hair full lace wig, hand knotted and completely made to measure (they'll wrap your head in cling film and sellotape to create a custom template) rather than an off the peg wig.

I only have personal hands on experience with the top of the range custom options to be honest as I used to make facial hair for film and TV and we worked closely with a wig maker, but there are definitely great cheaper options out there. If you did want to go for a custom made wig though I'd skip the wig specialists and go straight to a wig maker.

Some great advice above on wigs.

Maybe when grey bits are showing, you could stick a scarf on it when you don't fancy the wig route? If you like a vintage look, this is an easy tutorial:

Primark do those bands with wire in them for £1 - I get a couple, divide hair into two sections, pin up and then wrap them around head to disguise the worst grey bits between dye jobs. Tuck the ends under if you don't like bunny ears :)

I'm reliably informed that the best wigmakers are the ones in orthodox Jewish communities. Try Stamford Hill in London.

Failing that, maybe it's time to experiment with wearing scarves in your hair. You can create a variety of looks, and give the impression of longer hair, with nothing more than a long piece of material.

I let the blond highlights grow out of my brown hair recently. It took about 6 months (I cut it very short first). I wore lots of hairbands etc. while I was waiting and now it's completely grown out. I'm glad I did it; no more bother with colouring. Take a look at the website Going Gray, Looking Great Lots of inspiration there. Finally, have you had your hormones and thyroid checked? Any imbalance can have a huge effect on your hair. Good Luck X.

Two things spring to mind. One is folate - folic acid. This can do something to hair, I think if you're short on it it can mean your hair falls out too much, so topping up might make it thicker. Just a shot in the dark really.

Secondly - what about a really short style? I mean cropped, like Annie Lennox, that sort of thing? Would that suit you at all? I know a few people with thin hair and it looks really good on them, the shortness takes away from the thinness, proportionally iyswim.

I'm sorry if this doesn't help much, I really feel for you. My hair was getting very thin for a while till I realised I was actually pulling out a strand now and again when I was concentrating/stressed.
I stopped doing that and it's growing back thicker now, thankfully but for those few months I was really upset by not being able to do much with it.

Ernest is it long enough to wear it up? There's so many styles, buns, ponytails etc. My hair is quite fine and putting it up is easy. If the texture isn't great it doesn't really show when it's up.

Wow dald, that is so useful. Something along those lines is a great idea. Wonder if there's a way to ensure I lOok glam and chic like that woman; aids law I'll emerge looking Amish.

Just seen other replies. I knew Jewesses often wear wigs, so good tip to look in Jewish communities. Not too many round here in Bavaria, but worth making the trip to north London next time I'm in town, thanks.

I have always had bad hair ( thanks mum and grandma, seriously my grandma's is awful, not great genetics involved) but I will try the dietary front too.

Have had a v short pixie type crop a long time ago but it doesn't suit me, so need to work with shoulder length.

Thanks for tips. Have tried hair bands, but not these wire o es, will look at li is and try out scarves and headbands, and will pop into n London when I get a chance. Thanks for all replies and ideas.

definitely find a good sheitel ( how Orthodox women often refer to their wigs) maker in London.... my orthodox cousins have gorgeous sheitels, and different ones for parties etc.. you can also curl/straighten them and there will also be sheitel stylists who can style your wig for you

ditto the idea re cropping your hair, it might really suit you !

ah, i see you've tried the crop

maybe a different style, a longer crop, ifyswim? <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/cm/cosmopolitanuk/images/sR/or_9f57104012048899857405.jpg&imgrefurl=www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/beauty-hair/most-wanted-cropped-hair-79422&h=400&w=350&sz=42&tbnid=M-A1f1kRJod4CM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=84&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dcropped%2Bhair%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=cropped+hair&docid=NbBM3usr7MZ_gM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=-NpgT8_zLMqx8QP03dHTBw&ved=0CEAQ9QEwAA&dur=3469" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/cm/cosmopolitanuk/images/sR/or_9f57104012048899857405.jpg&imgrefurl=www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/beauty-hair/most-wanted-cropped-hair-79422&h=400&w=350&sz=42&tbnid=M-A1f1kRJod4CM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=84&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dcropped%2Bhair%26tbm%3Disch%26tbo%3Du&zoom=1&q=cropped+hair&docid=NbBM3usr7MZ_gM&hl=en&sa=X&ei=-NpgT8_zLMqx8QP03dHTBw&ved=0CEAQ9QEwAA&dur=3469

I also want flat brown lowlights with my blonde highlights. Been to quite a few diffetent salons . No one has managed to do it- always a red tinge under lights. We can get men to the moon but plain brown highlights aren't possible!

I have very fine hair but I have managed to grow it long and it looks quite nice. I never tried long hair before as I thought it would look crap and always had a bob. My tips;
Skin, hair and nails tablets (any make will do)
Kerastatse volumatic shampoo and conditioner (expensive but worth it)
No straighteners at all. (these dry the hair and break the ends)
Half a head of highlights rather than a whole head to stop hair from drying out.
Regular conditioning/split end repair masques (once a week)

I might also buy a babyliss big hair as recommended on here.

A regular trim too.

If long hair is defiately not an option then do all of the above anyway; it all helps.

I too have rubbish hair. I found that having my hair permed really helped; it adds volume and makes it look thicker and healthier (as long as you condition it well).

Semi-permanent colours always make your hair look shinier than the permanent ones.

Do you have any friends who can help you with a good hairdresser? Maybe an older, less intimidating person is what you need. Or one that can visit you at home?