I am a stupid shape. Dress me?

[CrunchyFrog]

Size 14 tits, 16 waist and 10 arse.

Currently wear mostly skinny jeans and t-shirt with boots.

I have good legs and nice boobs. Short hair, little to no makeup. Not keen on girly things as feel like I'm in drag.

Any ideas? I'd like to wear dresses - my sister does and looks great - but wonder if that looks incongruous with the short hair.

Budget is pretty small too!

TIA for any advice!

I don't think having short hair should stop you from wearing dresses. Depending on your hair style and personal taste - it sounds like you would want to steer clear from anything too flouncy!

At risk of sounding like gok wan, show of your best bits. Low cut necklines with a wrap under the bust and A line shape dress should look good. Alternatively a smock kind of thing that falls just above your knew with calf length boots and rights might work.
Helps?

Go to a fantastic hairdresser if your hair makes you feel unfeminine. Short hair can look gorgeous, but with a bad cut it's the pits. There are some fantastic tunic tops around that are a bit more dressy but buy them in a jersey, and if your budget is low, go for good quality secondhand rather than cheap new. They'll withstand the washing better.. And what MaMattoo said about the neckline/empire line.

I have one A-line dress that I love, from M&S of all places! I don't like low cut generally, as I prefer to be looked in the eye .

Would tunic tops not make me look a bit pregnant? I love the feel of jersey though.

I have a hair pic on profile - I love my hair short, but I do get mistaken for a boy!

I think I might see if I can find a black wrap dress - used to have one but it got too big and then indecent! Start with that.

Tunics are in style and some of them are A shape which look good on most people. The shapeless, box like ones are useful for non curvy people. It depends on your middle. If like me, you have a mummy tummy (CS screwed muscles here) then an A line dress has to be well fitted on the shoulders and neck but should skim your middle. You could also wear round neck jersey tops with loose shapes with A line skirts cut on a bias which makes a waist look slim.
Short crop ala natalie Portman are great. But it depends on face shape and hair type.

Yes, that sort of describes the one dress I have that I like - fitted at the top, hiding the jelly bit in the middle.

Any links to the type of jersey top you mean? Thanks x

Sounds like we're shape twins, crunchyfrog.

I am tomboyish, though and hate wearing dresses and skirts, so no help there (what jeans do you buy, incidentally because I find even man jeans too curvy for me?) but i do occasionally like to vamp it up with a bit of cleavage and lace and it doesn't jar with my short, short hair at all, so long as I avoid puffy shoulders or cowl necks. In fact, I do tend to prefer a low neckline, as it draws attention up from the fact that I look like a pregnant brick to the fact that I'm a pregnant brick with actual tits.

ouryve LOL! Yy to pregnant brick.

I like Gap jeans (via charity shop) but have given up ever looking like I have an arse, since I don't! Next and DP are the worst ones, I look like I'm wearing saddle bags with those.

I also have thighs the same thickness as my calves, so skinnies are tricky (they tend to be baggy on the thighs) but the best ones are Primark or Topshop so far. I get a size 10 in skinnies. If I buy trousers that are high waisted, I need a 14 or 16. What I actually need is a tailor.

Yep - I like their long and lean (apparently I'm that shape) for the proportions but find them a bit too low, so I get a muffin top even when they're big on my bum.

I have a pair of "comfy" higher waisted jeans from Debenhams, but nothing I've bought from there since has been anything like the same cut - I have chunky thighs on top of my lack of bum, which makes things extra difficult. I also have a pair of £12 M&S black skinny jeans I like, so long as I don't wear anything tight over the top, because I get the muffin top again, but they were also a never to be repeated buy.

Love Next for most stuff, but have never bought anything jeans like that fits form them. Got lots of their comfy jogging bottoms, which I virtually live in because they don't squeeze me in painful places.