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How to trim my lady garden when I can't actually see it?

32 replies

PoultryInMotion · 03/02/2012 10:11

Pregnancy belly is very big now. I haven't seen my vagine in weeks. How on earth can I give it a tidy up with minimum embarrassment? I know it's much more unruly than I would prefer, every time I go to the loo I get...caressed...by the sheer length of it. Plus (sorry, avert eyes now) it's making things a bit stinky down there.

I don't think I could face the mortification of having DH paint the veet on like last time. Plus I think the stench of it (the chemicals, not my vagine Grin) set off his asthma a little.

Please dont tell me I have to go and have it waxed Sad I can't imagine how painful that must be! (yes, I know I have childbirth to face, but I get offered pain relief for that!) If I went for one do you think they'd offer me some gas and air at least? Or an epidural ideally Grin Plus, would they actually do it so late on in my pregnancy? And of course, what about the humiliating vagine smell?

I need ideas/alternatives!

OP posts:
PoultryInMotion · 03/02/2012 10:13

Sorry, should I'm not suffering from any infections, I'm just horrifically disgusting.

OP posts:
PoultryInMotion · 03/02/2012 10:13

add

OP posts:
TopazMortmain · 03/02/2012 10:15

Blush I am 40 weeks and have no advice as I tried some home remedies for the wookie look and failed. Horribly. And fell over. So it's staying and that's that... Confused

LydiaWickham · 03/02/2012 10:17

go for a wax, hot wax, not warm strip wax (make sure you ask, don't take the risk).

stinkingbishop · 03/02/2012 10:22

In exactly the same (hairy) boat.

My cunning plan is to lie on the bed on a towel with a mirror propped up and do some trimming so at least it's not hideously embarrassing if I end up in hospital today. Plus I know I can reach that way.

Then if that goes OK, and am feeling up to it, to take a mirror into the bathroom, prop it on the loo, and paint the Veet on. Will only be the front alas.

Obviously this is just a plan, and one I've procrastinated for so long now my bits could audition successfully for Rapunzel. But will let you know how it goes.

HotBurrito1 · 03/02/2012 16:21

When you are in labour why will it matter two hoots how your pubes look? If you are stinky, wash more! Or am I missing something here Confused ?

PoultryInMotion · 03/02/2012 18:13

Burrito It's not about being in labour, it's the fact that I don't like the feeling of my mega long pubes rubbing against me, especially when usually tainted with delightful pregnancy discharge.

Plus my fanjo is not really an area I like to scrub with cleaning products, I've had too many episodes of thrush not to learn that lesson Grin

DH has offered to have a go with his clippers Sad

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PrimaBallerina · 03/02/2012 18:26

I had a salon wax very late on. I went to the loo quickly before to wet wipe any excess 'moisture' away (ah the memories...). The beautician talked me into a Brazilian and set about giving me the most thorough waxing ever.

I was sooo Blush at the time but really pleased with it when I got home. Just go somewhere you don't normally go to if you're shy.

sillymillyb · 03/02/2012 18:30

I am shamelessly watching to see if anyone comes along with a genius solution.

I could practically plait my fanjo hair and the last time I attacked the area with veet it stung like buggary so im not attempting that again....

I have 7 weeks to go before due date, so have the added dilema that if I tackle this now, I will more than likely have to go through the trauma again in a few weeks. Nightmare!

upahill · 03/02/2012 18:33

Get youtr partner to do it.
That's what I did for most of the big bit of pregnancy and then just before due date got it waxed.

lou33 · 03/02/2012 18:37

I am not pregnant, but have extremely bad eyesight so I have just the same problem, as my glasses steam up if I try to use them in the shower. I do it by feel now, a bit like reading braille i would imagine.

CavemanDave · 03/02/2012 18:38

Afraid to say I had to get a man in at this stage. Also for the legs (backs thereof). My theory was he got me in this condition, so he can bloody well suffer the consequences. It required the use of the garden strimmer.

catisfat · 03/02/2012 18:43

The midwife strimmed did a dry shave on mine just before labour.

Ambi · 03/02/2012 18:46

My plan is to hand the bikini trimmer to DH when I'm unable to reach to do the honours.

CumpyGrunt · 03/02/2012 18:47

My DP did have a go with his clippers.

I had a grade 1 & he showed me it with a mirror like you get at the hairdressers & everything Grin

asuwere · 03/02/2012 18:48

I have a Wilkinson Sword bikini trimmer thing - has a disposible razor bit on the other end. It's great as can be used in the shower - you don't really need to look as it has a safety cover thing on it to control the length. Keeps everything short and if you you really want, you can just shave the edges :)

CumpyGrunt · 03/02/2012 18:48

It tickled.

LoveInAColdClimate · 03/02/2012 18:48

DH has done mine with bikini trimmer since I stopped being able to see it at about 30 weeks. It is much shorter and neater than when I do it myself!

historyrepeats · 03/02/2012 18:51

My DH trimmed mine and cut me. [annoyed] I would go for the waxing option. probably hurts alot but will be worth it

AngryFeet · 03/02/2012 18:53

DH waxed mine for me when I was heavily pregnant with DD1. I was worried about the hair getting stuck in the stitches for some weird reason.

morecoffeepleaseholdthecake · 03/02/2012 18:55

Go get a wax done. If you need an emergency c section they will dry shave u and do a really bad job the re growth after a dry shave was very uncomfortable!

Deux · 03/02/2012 18:57

I second Wilkinson Sword safety razor with bikini trimmer. It's brilliant. I've never cut myself.

You could use it in the bath and get as contorted as you can manage.

LoveInAColdClimate · 03/02/2012 18:58

Incidentally, the wax might not be that bad... I find eyebrow threading much less painful since I've been pregnant (although haven't had a wax). Hormones, maybe?

CavemanDave · 03/02/2012 18:58

Deux - I have such a machine. Can it tackle major deforestation? Or would a prior trim be advisable?

joanofarchitrave · 03/02/2012 18:59

Leave it and enjoy the extra warmth in this weather. Re the smell, I was going to suggest wet toilet wipes but I think it would be better to re-read The Female Eunuch tbh.