Oh please help me. I have to go to fashion week and I'm a troglodite!

[ChasTittyBeltUp]

I'm a freelance writer and ex actor...(ten years since I last performed professionally) and I've been asked by a certain website to follow a journalist who is covering fashion week...and produce a video which will go on their site. I have to interview the journalist.

I'm SO far from my ideal weight/style and have no confidence in my looks any more.

I have been hiding behind a screen for ten years! What on earth do I wear? I will be appearing on the film and am reasonably happy with my face, makeup and hair but I have no decent clothes at all.

I live in skinny jeans, jumpers and boots! I'm a size 12 on top and a 14 on the bottom too so slimming outfits are best. I want CHEAP!

I'm 39 (dies a little bit) but think I probably look younger than that.

Young, schmoung. I think it sounds good.

There was a trend for wearing opaques with pale colours, but I don't know if that died a death and I didn't notice when I donned the pregnancy muu muu. If not, fake tan!

I thought about that trend too and then thought maybe it's done and dusted...so if we BOTH thought it then it probably is! Fake tan you think? Shoes? I am notoriously BAD with shoes.

www.dune.co.uk/corker-d-retro-lace-up-peep-toe-prodcorkerd10black/
Could these work. It's tricky cos can't see the dress.

The shoes are lovely Responsability but I just do not have the right ankles for that style. I need a lower front.

I don't think black shoes would work....but if I have nude type shoes, then I can't wear a black jacket? There is a sort of burnt orangey red in the dress...can I have some shoes in that colour?

I have no idea if shoes that colour would work, but if they do would either of these:

orangey

tan suit?

I've tried (and failed) to get some shoes for an interview and have noticed quite a few orangey/red shades around...

God I am such a weirdo about shoes! I never see any I like! I don't know what I like and that's the problem! Same with bags.

Don't go into Clarks then . They've started doing that thing they do in WHSmith (flogging you a chocolate orange to go with your newspaper or whatever).
"Ah, have you seen this bag? It goes well with those shoes".
Me: "No, thanks. I don't need a bag. And the shoes don't actually fit since you brought me the wrong size"
"Have you seen the weather recently? It is going to snow apparently. We have these lovely snow boots..."
Me:

Can't be any more help, except to sympathise and say I hope you have a lovely time regardless of outfit. John Lewis had some nice shoes left in their sale when I went in yesterday which might be a good place to look for inspiration?

Me: Have you got any nude ballet flats please?

Them: No but we DO have these red sandals!

Me: No...I wanted ballet flats. In nude.

Them: How about a nice messenger bag instead?

Me: No. Nude ballet flats!

Them: You look hungry. And angry...perhaps you need a chocolate orange?

I would have taken the chocolate orange...

I asked for the shoes in a 5 1/2 wide and a 6 normal. They brought me 5 normal. And then subjected me to their spiel. The man had the grace to look a bit embarrassed, but he also sounded like which made the whole thing even more absurd.

Thanks for making me spit apple all over my keyboard! I am now afraid to go shopping and ask for help as will think of your experience with Taaj!