I'm a pasty, self tan virgin...

[ShowOfHands]

Here's what I don't want to be:

Orange
Striped

And I do want to be:

Beautiful
Rich

Seriously, I'm going on holiday with my parents in about 7 weeks time and I've never bothered with tanning before. I have a skin condition which means I don't tan at all anyway (and I wear factor 50 so wouldn't matter if I did) so I'm pale. I'm pretty happy being pale but actually feeling a bit crappy about the way I look in general. Although I've lost all the baby weight (ds is 4.5 months), I feel a bit lost and want to feel a bit better about being in the swimming pool. I've got a Boots voucher and have a few questions...

Stretchmarks. Does it make them stand out? I have stretchmarks from my breasts to my knees and while my swimming outfit of choice is board shorts and a tankini top, the ones on my thighs/backs of knees are visible.

Where do you put it? Everywhere? Or do you have your body one colour and ignore your face? What about your feet? Your toes? Backs of your hands? It's a bit labour intensive isn't it?

Do you wear gloves when you're applying it or do you end up with orange hands?

What's a tinted moisturiser and should I be buying one of those instead?

Is it okay with bfing?

Is it a really bad idea?

Can you recommend a good one? I don't want to be really brown. Just a bit less pasty, postnatal anaemic iyswim.

Right, if I were you I would start with an everyday gradual tanning lotion (I like the St Tropez one). With these I find you can just slap it on without much chance of streaking. I put a bit of plain moisturiser on my knees and elbows, then I put the tanner all over my body, but stop just before the ankles and wrists. So that I don't get patchy ankles or hands I use the plain moisturiser again and blend it up from the toes to where I finished off with the tanner, and the same on the hands and wrists. Then wash your hands, put on a bit more hand cream and you are good to go. Sounds like a faff, but I can do it in 3 minutes tops! This will give you a light colour, more healthy looking, than tanned! I also put the same lotion on my face and it makes me feel more human!!

I used tanning lotion whilst I was BFing, but just avoided the breast area! I also think that it helps to minimise the appearance of stretchmarks.

Hope all of that makes sense and helps a little! Have a lovely holiday!

Right, St Tropez, I can remember that. And everywhere yes? Armpits? Does the plain moisturiser really make a difference? I have a bath every evening so could theoretically do it then. How long does it take and does it just get darker and you stop when you're happy? How long for it to fade?

Yep, I second using a gradual every day one. Dove and Johnsons are both good and very easy to use.

Exfoliate every couple of days too to keep the colour even. (Any old brand will do, just rub it over yourself in the shower and rinse).

Top tip - I wash my hands afterwards with soap and toothpaste to make sure I don't get any stains around my fingers and nails.

Sorry, didn't answer your questions.

You wont see it go brown straight away. You need to use the same amount that you would use if you were just moisturising.

With these everyday ones, I'd do it every day for 1-2 days and then every couple of days there after.

Applying fake tan is sooo difficult when you are pale as the bits that are missed show up so clearly.

I am very pale and have experimented with many fake tans, just to try to look as though I am not actually blue on holiday, plus cover what I like to think of as minor blemishes.

The best one I have found is by Famous Dave, either the one for fair skin, or the gradual tanner. These do not come off on your clothes or bedding, and are very effective, and definitely not orange.

I don't have a shower. Do I need to rinse off the excess afterwards or do it after the bath and leave it?

You're all v good to talk me through this.

Are you talking about the exfoliator? If so, scoop a handful out, rub all over. (probably need to stand in the bath). Then rinse it off, either with a jug or just the bath water.

Get out of the bath, and put the fake tan on. There should be no excess, as it rubs right in and looks like body lotion.

And the basic moisturiser Em mentioned. Is it a good idea to do that as well as the fake tan? And do I do my face?

I wouldnt tan immediately following a bath, wait til you cool down.

I use garnier ambre solaire spray for my face and garnier gradual tanner for my body. Both of these come in a fair shade.

I would bathe in the morning and exfoliate, apply plenty of moisturiser to dry areas and then do the tan at night. Put a bit more moisturiser (again) on hands, feet, knees and elbows shortly before applying. Leave tan to dry before getting in bed. Wash off the day after.

Make sure you wash your hands properly! Obviously do the backs after washing.

Where are you going?

Don't apply fake tan for several hours after you shave your legs - the pores are open, the tan goes in and you'll look like you've been plucked.

The gradual tanning body lotions are a good idea if you are a novice and don't want to go really brown. Another vote for Dove and also Garnier's Summerbody. I use a tanning mitt (from Boots or Body Shop) which means no orange palms and makes it easy to do the backs of your hands. I think it also makes the coverage a bit more even.

I am quite fair but still use the 'dark' version of the body lotions as they are quite subtle.

I also use the Garnier Ambre Solaire spray for face/chest and it is v easy to use.

Have fun - a bit of colour makes such a difference when you're de-robing at the start of a holiday.

Sorry, not been on here for a few days!

No, you don't need to do armpits as the gradual tanners are very light so you won't get a noticeable line where you stop. I find the plain moisturiser good as it stops any patchy bits on your hands - a dead giveaway!! - and feet. It just means that I can put it all on quickly without having to spend ages blending it all in. Tan down to ankles, moisturiser on feet and blend up to mid calf. Never fails!! Same on arms, tan to just above wrists, moisturiser on hands, (do this last of all so that you can wash you hands first!) blend up to mid arms. Also stops any patches that might form if you use perfume on your wrists. I never get any lines/streaks or orange hands! Moisturiser on the knees and elbows before tanning stops them going too dark (the skin is usually dryer than the rest of you so will go darker). If I don't do this step I get really funny colour knees!!

You can use the normal tanning lotion on your face if you don't have sensitive skin, but if you prefer not to, then try using the tanner on your décolletage and up to your neck, then put normal moisturiser on your face, down the neck and just blend where they meet.

Don't worry about having to wash it off when it reaches the desired colour as it will only darken a certain amount, not keep getting darker until you wash it off! Also, the gradual tanner are very subtle, so it will be a couple of applications before you notice a real difference. Then just do every 2-3 days to top up! Easy!

www.boots.com/en/Soltan-Beautiful-Bronze-Self-Tan-Applicator-Mitt_1207018/

www.boots.com/en/Soltan-Beautiful-Bronze-Self-Tan-Gel-150ml_1206934/

Showy, as you'll prolly know I'm a blue-skinned blondey/ginge and I have had trouble with fake tan for years. I've literally tried everything, all types and all methods. What works for me is using a tan mitt (linked first above) - slightly wet it (just slightly) put on like a glove, squirt some tan on it (about 50p size) and rub into your skin using circular motions. 50p per half leg (so 4 amounts for legs), 50p per arm and 50p for chest and back of neck area. Then use whats left on the mitt to do your feet, knees and back of hands and blend again all over.

I wholeheartedly HATE the build-up tans as they are not for the milky likes of me. I've tried Dove, Johnsons, Boots own - always 'orange' and streaky. NO. I use the second link ^ which is a coloured gel so I can see any cockups straight away (and blend like billyo) and it dries super fast so great for rushing off to attend to the kids/flopping into bed. Vita Liberata is a posher more expensive version of this but is £20 rather than the current Boots one at £5.99.

As for face, I use the same stuff on my face but a 20p size and again, blend down your neck, across ears gently and into your hairline.

B/Fing not a prob as you don't tan beyond your decolletage anyway (you can but no need).

Keys are to wait half an hour after a bath, moisturise with any old crap and let that sink in (use the same 30mins for both) and the BLEND.

Love yas