Some cold, hard facts of life at 38!

[Diamondsonthefloor]

Today I went to buy a replacement pair of Baxter skinny jeans as mine are quite worn out. Not only did I look utterly hideous in a duplicate size to what I have, but the sizes below and above also looked terrible. I then looked at the Leighs, which aren't really jeans at all but very thin cotton jean-style trews!

I'm in such a rut. I am usually really confident about my sense of style, what I like, what inspires me etc. Today I found the shops really depressing...I just need some new skinny jeans and I'd love them to be made of actual denim....

I then went and bought a magnifying mirror...x 12 magnification. BIG mistake. Having believed a therapist that my skin is "quite good actually", the open pores and creased up skin is truly awful, and yet i've been beauty product obsessed for years!

I suppose I'm posting because I wonder if any of you have coasted through your thirties feeling stylish and confident and then have suddenly looked in the mirror one day and thought "shit, actually.....". Other issues like newly greasy hair and teenage blemishes are also throwing me off-balance.

I think you're right about the refined sugar thing, Alouisee. In the past and probably recently when my diet has been, um, questionable, I have found that it shows on my face. In fact a mixture of shitty diet, stress, extra weight and tiredness will make anyone look like a bag of chips.

I always vowed that I would try and stave off the ageing process for as long as possible, but lets face it, it is impossible. And I say it like it's a bad thing - it's not of course - but we do all want to look the best we can with what we've (still) got!

Well, I am 39, it is January, I have a stinking cold, and my period is due...

...so I look shite, never looked so puffy facedcand old ...yet.boohoo...

I am still in skinnies though, DP ones as well, I think they suit me as am tall.

I find that getting some fresh air every day is essential to stop me from looking half dead. Puts a bit of colour on my cheeks. And avoiding mirrors...

OMG! are you me? I'm 38 and recently I err look err old!

I went to Westfield yesterday and got some things, but mainly coz I had too, I walked around thinking "urgh, skinny jeans, urgh, skater dresses in lace, urgh body con..."

I've lost my Mojo... went to bed one day still looking good (holding onto my 20s), woke up very nearly 40...

My Mum says "Oh there's so much ageism today! Women of 38 ARE young!" I am 39 and she comforted me that she looks after a lady of 102 who thinks my mum is a baby at 60!

I feel crinkly sometimes...and haggard...but then I remember Kate Moss the other day, headbanging in Paris as she Dj'd and thought YEAH! Fuck you media! We're still fecking spring Chickens! I don't intend to get to 50 and think "Shit I WAS young but wasted it worrying I wasn't 20 anymore"

BandofM but you are young! That's the point!

I am 4 years younger than your mum and honestly, 50s are not what they were. So don't say "when I get to 50"......!!!

The rule is to make the most of yourself at any age.

And anyone under 40 is young!

im 37 and a 12 with a bit of a pot belly ( that im trying to shift!) i can also recommd the new look high waist skinnies.

i think the problem is the shops are also terrible atm so that is making things worse. i shopped from marble arch to covent garden yesterday and bought one thing!!

tbh i dont know where to go anymore - cheap polyester tat jumpers sellling for £50 in Oasis and hobbs et al just seem really dowdy and ££. cheap boxy cuts in every shop....

miomio yes what is it with polyester at the mo?

Also, you look around and there are looks of women our age looking sophisticated, and I just look like a jumble sale! I'd love to learn how to look stylish and 38... surely it can be done?

Agree with amelia under 40 is so young! Enjoy it. I am 46 and hanging on by my finger tips

amelia no and now I think of it 50 doesn't even sound old! My Mum looks affter elderly people and she's constantly amazed by how full their lives are...there are quite a few in their 90s and upwards who still do loads...she only has to go to them to help with shoelaces and fiddly things...they all go out and about, eat lovely lunches with their mates attend clubs and so on...theatre nights and read....and enjoy life a lot. I don't think 50 IS old when you think I could get to 50 and have another 50 years of great living and more to come!

Diamonds - I had the same "OMG" moment as you, but a little later. Having spent my 30s immersed in full-time motherhood it was only when I went back to work at 40 amongst a load of fresh-faced youngsters that I realised that the years and crept up and mugged me while I wasn't looking. I felt like a little old lady.

I do think you need to put a bit more effort in as you age mature, so maybe there is something in the princess lark. If you maintain the same diet and lifestyle you followed in your 20s you will probably find the weight creeping slowly on, so I dealt with that by giving up carbs and starting running. Being a trim size 10 has made me feel a whole lot better about myself, and I can still hoist the skinny jeans at 45. I also take a lot more care of my skin that I used to, and have been to the GP to sort out my erratic hormones, which has made me feel a lot better.

I still wish I had the confidence I have now with the youthful looks of my 20s - I'd have been unstoppable. But I'm going to enjoy a good few years more before sinking into "middle age" and embracing elastic waistbands and comfort footwear.

Sympathise with you all. I am 43 and keep catching the reflection of my mum in the mirror! I used to dress really bohemian when I was younger, all long hippy skirts, beads and scarves. As you get older I think you have to go more structured and expensive with clothes or you look like a social worker! It just takes more effort as you get older to stay looking the same.

My philosophy is that there is nothing you can do about getting older, you just have to be the best you can for the age you are. Better quality make up products and good quality properly fitting clothes are a must. But I agree it is incredibly hard to find nice good quality clothes that arent too young or too grannyish.

Oh, and I still wear skinny jeans

A little update..today I spent a few few suffocatingly hot hours at Westfield. To the person who rated Dorothy Perkins jeans, I can safely say that out of everything I tried on they are the most skin tight perfect weight denim I found. Also picked up a cute boxy navy cardigan in Cos while lusting after a few of their other things.
Feel a lot better. It has been touching to read so many replies after I bleated on about my tatty self-image! Have realised too (and declared it loudly to DP) that I need to start putting a lot more cash into my clothes .

Mmecholet its true what you say about being a bit nicer to yourself. I have two dc's under 4 and also work two days/week. With a 3 hour commute on top of 12 hour days, I look like hell for pretty much 3 days of every week. Even a long bath could really chill me out i'm sure.

Cointreau I began running about 3 years ago, only really get to go once/week nowadays.
Tonight, while not quite princessing, i've vowed to religiously double cleanse every evening to rid these crater pores. Also to cut down on the coffee slavery.

Miomio get thee to a Cos (or look online). The high street is absolutely bloody hideous at the moment but I always come back to this one.

Lol at looking like a social worker! janIt's my dread that I will wake up looking like a textiles teacher!

I love this thread, and I'm really glad you feel better, Diamonds.

I turned 38 last month and I feel the best I've felt for years and years, but I want to take this thread as inspiration to keep the momentum going - I don't want to get to the end of the year, having fallen into a massive slump.

I'm 'down south' so it's summer here - always easier to feel better about one's self then, but it's still all about the January resolutions and making changes, etc, etc. I was reading an article yesterday about sugar, funnily enough, written by one of our big gym chain founders and he is convinced that in another 50 years sugar will come with the sorts of warnings that tobacco comes with now.

My diet isn't laden with sugar, but does have more than is probably good. I'm now making a real effort to cut right back and see what happens. This guy is promising increased mental clarity, less ageing of the skin, improvement in bones and joints, much better overall well-being, and of course, marked weight loss. Count me in for some of that.

I get daily exercise and had started running but after moving house fell out of the habit. That's definitely something else I want to get back into - so easy once you get a habit and routine going.

I'm another one determined not too look back on these years and think, 'God, why didn't you make the most of yourself?!'...

That is interesting about sugar Slinking we have recently (last week) made a concerted effort to cut DDs sugar consumption...she's skinny and seven and tends to have a lot off tiredness and temper tantrums...she''s really improved a LOT.

We lapsed at the weekend but I should follow suit shouldn't I? I hope DD gets the increased mental clarity! I hope I get the improved skin!

Who wrore the article by the way? Or where can I find it please? Onlne at all?

I actually tried to look it up before posting Chas, but there's nothing online. It was just a short column piece by Phillip Mills, founder of the Les Mills chain of gyms.

It just seemed to make a lot of sense. The obesity epidemic seems to correlate with the rise in sugar-laden, processed foods that have been around since the post-War period. Before those years, there just wasn't the same prevalence of obesity.

I think if there's one common strain that seems to underpin most bad diets and weight issues, it is sugar. Even if you don't eat a lot of sweet foods and sugar per se, many overweight people still get too much sugar via refined carbs - white bread, flour, pasta, etc, etc. Even low-fat mayonnaise has a load of sugar in it. Many low-fat food versions are laden with sugar to help the taste - yoghurt, ready-meals, (i.e. sweet and savoury foods), and it's hidden.

It's quite insidious, really. It would be interesting to see if in 50 years' time, he's right re the health wanings...

I have to drink more water. Stops me being hungry, gives me more energy and hopefully fills out the wrinkles. (mantra)

Just got to bloody remember in between sorting out everyone else. Everything I wear is uncomfortable and I have acne even though I never it had as a teen!

The moan porthole has been opened.

I'm 42 and I think it does take more effort as we get older. I didn't become a mother until I was 40 and I think it helped a lot as I was determined to not let myself go and actively chose to stay smart and as groomed as possible, even if I do have to resort to low pony-tails for work.

One thing I have found is that my skin has become more sensitive, so I always ask for at least 3-4 days worth of samples before buying a new lotion, potion or foundation. Some of the anti-ageing stuff gives me acne.

I love princessing, even if I dislike the term. It makes me feel that I am treating myself well.

Will also be watching for ideas as I'm in the same place (see my thread). I'm coveting bright red hair with some multi coloured strands to give it a bit of an edge. I'm nearly 37 and just had DD2. Sounds like I need some of the basics suggested here too - going to put £50 aside for an update - hoping to spend half on two pairs of DP jeans as mentioned and maybe some scarves or accessories.
I pretty much only drink water but love sweet.things so have acne too!
I'm 5'1" and a 10 but with a big bum and thunder thighs so have thus far avoided skinnies, but might try some with the right tops and seeif I can get them to work.
Great to not be alone in this!