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Style and beauty

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Original poster

Peircing babies ears- how young?

138 replies

kayjaybabe · 21/01/2012 12:58

i want to get my DDs ears peirced she is 5 weeks old but conicidently today was my due date (5 weeks premi) im not sure if that makes a difference.

What age do you normally get their ears peirced? As i dont want to do it when she is too young but i dont want to leave it to late as the later the more painfull for her!! :)

OP posts:

higgle · 23/01/2012 18:24

A cultural thing? So is female circumcision, doesn't make it right.

glamourmama · 23/01/2012 18:28

A lot of my friends (mainly asian pakistani mums) get their daughters ears pierced as babies but don't think its quite as young as 5 weeks. Just wondering why when its 'cultural' people seem to respect it and accept it but otherwise its trashy and chavvy? Surely if u think something is wrong its just wrong all the time? Anyway my dd got hers done at 6 it was her idea and I felt she was old enough. She is only girl in her class with them done though so I'm guessing lors of people think its too young. She is envy of all her friends tho...

belgo · 23/01/2012 18:29

more then a hundred posts before the comparison with FGM. Usually a lot sooner!

glamourmama · 23/01/2012 18:37

Forgot to mention the childrens centre where I work has more little girls from babies to 5 with ears pierced than not pierced so its quite common where I live and the kids are from a mixed background. I have never known any incidents of them getting pulled out or infected (we do insist they only wear studs though)

SlinkingOutsideInFrocks · 23/01/2012 18:59

Equally, glamourama, if you think young babies and chidren shouldn't have it done, then 6 is too young? Why is 5 not OK, but 6 years old OK? We all have our own cut-off points and perceptions of thinks which csn be nuanced and not black-and-white, which you, yourself have demonstrated.

It's not something I would ever have done - I think it looks tasteless, but lack of taste isn't a crime. However, I have a Spanish friend who had her baby's ears pierced when she was just a few months old and I wouldn't judge her. Equally, our old Romanian au pair said it was totally commonplace in her country for babies to have it done.

I do not think it is child abuse. It is ludicrous to say that my friend's cherished and adored daughter has been abused solely by virtue of having her ears pierced. As I say, I do think it is a mater of taste so what I will judge to be poor taste in one setting I might not necessarily in another. It will vary.

SlinkingOutsideInFrocks · 23/01/2012 19:07

Sorry for typos. :-/

glamourmama · 23/01/2012 19:16

I just meant at 6 she asked for it done she had never asked before therefore I'd never considered it. I explained it would hurt and that she would have to be careful and let me clean them twice a day etc and I felt it was ok so we went and got it done.

vixsatis · 23/01/2012 19:18

16 years

SlinkingOutsideInFrocks · 23/01/2012 19:32

You don't have to explain yourself or your reasons! :)

My point was just that your stance on something isn't always set in stone, snd what one person might thinking negatively of under certain circumstances, they might not under others. Just responding to you saying if you think something is wrong, it's wrong all the time. No, not necessarily.

MrsMicawber · 23/01/2012 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pumpster · 23/01/2012 20:02

how can it be child abuse, it's legal. I think it's preferable to wait until the child wants it done and understands though. My 15 yo dd does not have her ears done but my nearly 3 yo does! she went on and on for ages and watched another child have hers done. She has tiny studs and i don't think she looks chavvy.

jasperJohns · 23/01/2012 20:05

So obviously a chav troll.

Original poster

kayjaybabe · 23/01/2012 22:05

Yes im a young mum but that has nothing to do with me enquiring into ear piercing. Its lovely to see how if its bassed on culture its accepted but otherwise its just trashy. Isnt that quite hypicritical? Thanks everyone for your imput.

OP posts:

Original poster

kayjaybabe · 23/01/2012 22:13

Also i do not "feel that my baby is unattractive" i know my DD is absoulutly beautifull, most beautiful girl i have ever seen. Piercing her ears isnt to "make her beautiful" its simply as where im from it is normal, although is not a cultural thing either.

OP posts:

emsyj · 23/01/2012 22:15

I don't think it's acceptable on 'cultural' grounds either. So I'm not a hypocrite, just a judgey pants (and I'm ok with that).

Nagoo · 23/01/2012 22:19

It is a 'cultural' thing then, if it is normal in your circles. We all have a culture, it's not a word that can only be used about other people in other countries.

OP the dominant culture on MN frowns on ear-piercing, as you may have noticed.

You asked the question, and you got your answers.

If you ask somewhere where the 'culture' is different (like at playgroup or the school gate where the other mothers have pierced their DCs ears) then you will get an answer nearer to what you might have expected.

Out of interest, have any of the comments made you re-think getting your baby's ears pierced?

Original poster

kayjaybabe · 24/01/2012 00:28

Nagoo i was never actually set on deffently getting them done ive just been considering it and wanted to know what age was safe (which no-ones acutually answered) incase i did end up doing it. I understand that its a i guess scary thing piercing her ears but as previously mentioned babies ear lobes are soft, easyer to push through.

I also understand the point a few have put across about leaving it till she decides if she wants them done or not, thats a fair call.

Before i wrote this post i was thinking 1 year old but now i am considering leaving it for a few years and see what she says.

OP posts:

glamourmama · 24/01/2012 01:19

That sounds sensible to me, its a shame your post was misunderstand. People are always going to have strong opinions on this kind of issue. If u do decide to get them done in a few years I suggest doing some ressearch into the method used and type of metal used also.

CanadaCalls · 24/01/2012 01:43

I have to agree with the general public.....not a good idea! Although this is going to make no difference to your decision i'm guessing?

I just think it looks wrong! Baby's look so pure and innocent, natural beauties......until you see the studs in their ears!

This is obviously something YOU want for her and not her own choice given she's just a newborn. I personally can't stand seeing children wearing jewellery, even a bangle on a toddler (sorry to offend anyone) looks wrong to me.

There are so many other ways you can accessorise them (not that they should be seen as accessories of course) with pretty headbands and dresses etc so why would you want to put 2 holes in her ears? If the holes were meant to be there she would have been born with them. Wait and let her decide when shes old enough.

glamourmama · 24/01/2012 02:12

Whats the difference between a bangle and a headband and as an accessory? Both serve no function other than decoration. I can understand not approving of earrings as they are invasive.

ThatVikRinA22 · 24/01/2012 02:16

hi op
i would definitely opt to leave it until she wants it doing - and she most likely will at some point - my dd was 10 but now she is 14 she never wears ear rings at all - i think she just prefers not to.

i think its a good idea to wait until they can clean them properly to avoid infection etc, so for me, i dont think under 10 is a great idea. i wish i had said no to my dd now as i think she regrets it.

SlinkingOutsideInFrocks · 24/01/2012 02:38

I said I wouldn't judge if someone from a culture where it's more accepted did it; I didn't say it suddenly wasn't tasteless and tacky. It still is, IMO, I just wouldn't judge as much.

In any case, I'm perfectly happy to be considered hypocritical. It's just my opinion on a manner of dress/accessorising which I personally find tasteless. It's hardly an exact science; it's completely subjective. :)

To be honest, I think you were just very naive coming onto a website like Mumsnet and asking this question. The fact that you were also asking about a premature baby on its actual due date just added fuel to the fire. If it's a strong culture round your way, I'm surprised you didn't just ask the other Mums.

Maybe you genuinely had no idea that this is seriously looked down on in other parts of society? If so, perhaps this is a wake up call as to a lot of opinions out there.

PlasticFlamingo · 24/01/2012 09:28

My DD wanted her eas pierced when she was 5. I asked the women I worked with when they thought was a good age to get them done, as mine aren't pierced. They all said, as an infant within the first few months

They were from Serbia, Chile and the Philippines.

Being as I am British DD is still waiting aged 10

CanadaCalls · 24/01/2012 09:41

glamourmama The difference is, headbands serve a purpose, bracelets don't.

Florieinaweddingdress · 24/01/2012 18:11

What a pile on!

I wouldn't do it personally, but many thousands of babies have had it and lived to tell the tale. It's a hole in an ear lobe, not a labotomy.

The OP didn't invent ear piercing herself. It's not fair to rail all your anger about babies wearing earrings at her.

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