Anyone else deeply unsexy in the name of beauty?

[ProjectGainsborough]

Had a bikini wax today from the world's least competant waxer.

Now stuck on the sofa in the ever-attractive 'stirrups' position while I wait for the bruising/bleeding to subside.

I may be here some time.

Does anyone else have an unattractive beauty confession to make me feel better?

! bleeding?

Bleeding ? Cripes.

No.

I once had a bikini line wax just before going on holiday (to the sun) with my then boyfriend and his family.

It was the first time I'd been waxed. I have never been since.

The bruising was so bad I looked like an elephant had kicked me between the legs. It was very attractive

I didn't bleed though! Poor you

Bleeding? Hope you complained PG. Poor you.

I will raise you a BW where the beautician said I didn't need to take off my jeans . I got home to find I still had significant growth in place. I was not happy!

Yup. Is like she nicked some of the pores or something.

Didn't realise quite how bad it was til I got home, so no, did not complain.

I didn't tip though. Which for me is like sending a strongly worded letter

Thank you for the sympathy. A bikini wax through the jeans made me laugh.

This is why i do it myself! Don't do it all in one go - but a little bit in a different area over a few days.
I found that when it was all done - my body just overreacted and it was a bruised itchy mess. All that effort and was not able to appreciate it

Years ago, as a treat before my graduation, I had a facial (never to be repeated) and as I was on an anti-acne cream (retin A) which I warned the beautician about, I had a reaction to being exfoliated. As she started to massage in the exfoliater, my skin started to swell and peel: she stopped immediately but it still left me with a massive stripe of swollen (and peeling skin) above my lip and over one cheek: but it was hugely swollen and painful. A great look for the graduation photos, gah!

Sort of like a peeled-skin moustache? Ouch.

Thank you for making me feel better, though!

I left my chin-and-lip wax strips in the bathroom. DH has just realised after 15 yrs my mediterranean face is not naturally smooth and hairless.

Could have been worse - I used to bleach. Had to go into seclusion for half an hour, and it smelt like ammonia, but at least no-one ever saw me with a white mustache...

I had a bikini wax and only realised I was prone to bruising when I got to my poolside destination. The girl had left finger mark bruises on each side of my inner thigh.
God knows what people thought of my then boyfriend, it looked like my legs had been prised apart!!

please stop...you are making me scrunch in pain

Yes ProjectGainsborough, a very swollen and lumpy peeled skin moustache.

I burnt my fanjo with veet once.

Applied it, lay back on bed with legs open so it wouldn't rub off, and promptly fell asleep woke up about half an hour later in fucking agony!

Spent the rest of the evening with icepacks Birdseye peas on my foof.

Because had fallen asleep had obv moved around a little and the veet got into places veet shouldn't go

Mi4 ouch, ouch, ouch!

Oh my god Mi4!!!

Yeah I had that once or twice ProjectGainsborough. Wax was too hot (I said OOOOW BLOODY HELL THAT'S HOT and she said 'no it isn't) so it burned and she ripped the skin of my labia in little strips. I complained, got no where, and then foolishly I went back for an eyebrow wax. Girl who did it mentioned that she'd heard I'd not been happy with her colleagues work and she reduced my nice natural brows to tortured little stick-man eyebrows. Not sure if that makes you feel any better!! It's SO not sexy but sudacreme(sp?) is good. Slap it on thick!

I put liz earle manuka honey black clay masque over my spots, left it on overnight.

Took the bins round the next day with it still on. Realised about 15mins later that if any of the neighbours saw me it looked like I had choc buttons on my cheeks. And it was xmas break so lots of people would have been in.

Sudacreme... ahahaha!

Mi4 wins the banjaxed fanjo competition.

cruella's post reminded me of the time that I read some stupid article and decided to become French about my beautifying (ie very ladylike and mysterious). Lasted about 30 mins, until DH walked in on me in perched on side of bath, bollock naked apart from a shower cap, copy of the Times, strategically placed Nair and 'tache bleach.

Actually, he wasn't even H then. I am amazed he married me.

ooh what do I win

Tub of Sudacream and an ice pack? x