So, im deluded! Simplify me!

[2wwmadness]

I'm 23 +4 with my 1st dc. I work in cosmetics and wear a full face everyday. I also have an extensive daily routine in the am and pm for my face and body. Obviously with a baby this is gunna go out th window. So what tips/tricks and treatments do you have for me to make this possible. I feel comfortable in make up and really don't want to totally let go of "me" as I'm happy and enjoy doing it. In after wonder products and your routines! Also. Before I'm due what would you recommend I do? I'm having a Mani/ pedi chiropodist visit. Waxing and hair cut. But anything else you wish you had?
Thanks

Should of made the gel nail thing clear. Sorry. I don't have them, never have. I was thinking about it for when I'm about 37 weeks for when
The babies here. I think I wont bother. That's one thing of my list!

I used to put my make up on one handed whilst breastfeeding when DD was tiny, very easy when you get used to it! :)

Baby in bouncy chair in bathroom is also a very good option for shower. TBH I still wear full make up etc. with a toddler, she loves watching me put it on.

math it's very unfair and unrealistic to tell OP that she needs to be a 24/7 singing, dancing machine who doesn't take her eyes from her baby.

OP, it's perfectly possible to put your face on and talk at the same time, you can multi-task right? ;) it is imo highly commendable that you wish to remain 'you'. Those who martyr themselves are rarely happy longterm. I love my children, but they are not the only things on earth to put a smile on my face. Relationships 101 states that happiness comes from within, you don't suck the life from others.

I wouldn't worry about nails, you'll be terrified of scratching the baby!

OP I was thinking about you this morning as I got ready. You and I are a million miles apart in terms of our grooming routines - I don't think I get through your daily routine in a year. BUT, when I had my second baby I made a point of looking presentable every day, including in hospital (for me that means dressed in clean clothes, hair washed and brushed, eyelashes dyed, maybe some flash balm and lip gloss). I made more of an effort than I do usually and I really felt better for it. I remember feeling like a daggy old milker in a darkened room when my first baby was a couple of weeks old. I suppose I'm saying that I really do understand the psychological importance of looking your own version of decent.

But then I was thinking that in all honestly, it is a possibility that you won't be able to get an 8th of your routine done on a weekly basis. You might. You might sail happily through with a sleeping baby and happy hormones and lash extensions and the lot (and fantastic - I hope you do) but equally you might be weepy and sore and sleep deprived and overwhelmed for a few weeks. It would not be helpful to have a routine that you can't possibly accomplish hanging over you as yet another thing you're not managing - you'd be setting yourself up to fail. For the first couple of months of my firstborn's life it was completely beyond me to make a sandwich in the 10 hours my husband was out of the house - I just couldn't manage it. So would it be an idea to work out now an absolutely minimalist routine that you can adopt if things are a bit hardgoing? Could you think of it as a new, fresh-faced look? Call it Plan B if you like, but mentally prepare yourself for it so it's not something you have to think about after the baby arrives.

Thank you alpine, you understand completely. And silent that's it! I'm so afraid of "not coping" I need to be realistic of actually what coping is. I know what I do now is in achievable. I'm trying to find a way to still feel like if I bump into a friend in the street they will recognise me! And I wont totally let myself go. Bacause for me, that will add to the "not coping" panic. Or the 1st time in my life I an properly terrified. I have NO idea how I'm going to cope with this. And I'm trying to prepare myself and streamline routines so I can have mini "win's" and little lifts when and if I feel like I'm chasing my tail. I'm going to challenge the girls in work like another poster suggested. There challenge is to make me look human using as littl products and as quickly as possible. I'll see what they come up with. Thank you all for you help. Your helping me

As others have said, the main challenge with a newborn is the periods of time you will get when they are asleep or happy in the bouncy chair etc. I totally understand your desire to look half-decent - I wasn't (and am still not) as groomed as you, but I always wear make up and style my hair. This did not change when I had my DD (now 2.4) - I just took 20 min here and there when she was asleep or being held my DH etc to nip up and tidy myself up a bit. I also always shower and shave my legs and armpits every day - I think the only day I missed was when I was in hospital after having given birth and has a catheter in. You will find time to do these things as long as you pick your momets, but you will need to adapt to the fact that you can't plan your day like you do now. You will be tired and may not be up at 6.30 every day and even if you are, your baby will need feeding/changing etc!

I think the idea of streamlining your routine and make up is a good one and then you'll just have to fit things in when you can. Bear in mind that you will also want to take advantage of the times when the baby is asleep or happy to wash up/tidy up/have a quick sit down without holding the baby etc so your priorities may change a bit!

Good luck to you and enjoy it all (TTC number 2 and a bit jealous).

one thing i would say is that all these 'natural' products will have distinctly unnatural smells about them and if you are bfing the baby might recoil a bit. can't you just relax into your own skin for a while at least? it all sounds incredibly stressful to me.

actually, i am finding your 'looking human' stuff a bit depressing, tbh, you do sound very down on yourself. what about just expecting to be happy and to enjoy being a mother?

(btw i wear make up every day, LOVE the stuff. but i do look 'human' without it).

Took me a while to apply the sick marks to my shoulders, but I found that working through the night gave a really good coverage for that.

Perhaps this migyt be a chance to express a different side of " you".perhaps a slightly lower maintenace you, who feels ok without so may layers on? Like others, im worried that your standards are unrealistically high and when you fail to meet your own defintion of groomed ( thats when, not if), you will get depressed.

Coulndt you think of this as a new and exciting phase in your life, rather than an exam which you will only pass if you look exa ctly like you do at work?

I always liked wearing make up when i had a new born as it made me feel like me!.I found it useful having an easy to apply foundation -either tinted moisturiser or an all in one powder one.You won't have the time to blend etc.Likewise sticks or chunky pencils are quick and easy to use.A stick blusher [i use clinique] and Cliniqiue chubby sticks are quick to use and will help you feel human again.Likewise a bit of eyepencil and mascara.Choose an all-in-one serum /cream for your face and moisturising shower gel for your body.Have hair cut in a style that can be left to air dry or tied back neatly as i have dropped my hair in the babies nappies on occasion when very tired [and its not nice].Do not have a pedicure/manicure as you might have to remove the nail varnish if surgery is needed.Finally, a first baby is so overwhelming you will really not be too concerned about how you look for a while so go with the flow!.

Aitch makes a good point about the smells.

I didn't wear deodorant when mine were tiny because I hated to think of them snuggling into my armpit when I fed them and inhaling all those chemicals. Certainly didn't wear perfume or strongly scented things. I spent a little while in a natural little bubble where I smelled clean of mummy and milk and she smelled of wee and sweet biscuits.

That is a good point about smells. And if you are breastfeeding then you don't

i used a crystal deodorant for the same reason, bob. it just felt very weird to be stinking of artificial smells when all dd wanted was for me to smell of her mother.

Gah stupid phone.

What I was trying to say, is that if you are breastfeeding then you don't want to be slathering a load of firming cream and god knows what near your nipple because the baby will be getting a mouthful each feed.

You can look good and be a mum - even when you have a baby! However, as other have said, it is a sensible thing to lower your expectations of what you should look like until you have settled into a rough routine with your baby and know what you can do with them. Some babies are happy to sit in a bouncy chair watching/sleeping whilst you apply moisturiser...others not so.

How about a BB cream? Great multi-tasker. Good quality skin wipes for the morning? Hair doesn;t need (and frankly shouldn't be) subjected to a hairdryer everyday. Dry shampoo is great. Letting your hair dry naturally occasionally is no bad thing. Focus on what will make you feel good/together - perhaps choosing some clothes the night before/putting on some tinted moisturiser and lipbalm. I think I was doing that sort of thing from day one.

It actually gets harder when/if you go back to work and have to do any sort of routine in the morning before getting a child to childcare - I do bed to car in 12 minutes (when not doing the drop-off) and that includes cleansing, moisturising and hair prep. Make up done at traffic lights. This means I get to work at 730/745 (I have an hour and 1/2 commute) and can then leave at 4pm to return home. I actually really like clothes/grooming etc but have to be very focussed on a few things to allow me to fit everything in.

Alpine, did I really say that? Was it the bit where I said babies need feeding (often at unpredictable intervals), wiping (often at unpredictable intervals), and lots of attention (as in lots)? Unrealistic?

What I am suggesting is that she accept the compliment the baby gives her, and embrace her role as the centre of the universe.

I agree 100% with this from Maryz:
'I really do think you need to lower your expectations. I am not getting at you, or laughing at you (in fact I'm very impressed), but if you depend on being able to do that sort of routine (An hour and a half to two hours twice a day) to feel that you are you, you are going to be fighting a losing battle.'

I agree with SilentBoob too.

I think you are right when you say you are terrified -- you make it sound as if you are certain the experience of motherhood is going to diminish you and make you unrecognisable even to yourself, let alone your friends. Your last post made me wonder if you are seeing motherhood as a battle to be won.

Do women who are out and about doing their daily thing with their babies and toddlers without makeup look less than human to you? (Speaking as someone who showers, washes hair, dresses fairly nicely and wears makeup every day, and did so through five babies).

I'm not getting at you or laughing at you either, but doing motherhood as if it's an experience that will pull you under if you don't stay vigilant will eat away at you.

Not sure if anyone's said this, but you can't have a Brazillian blowdry when pg/breastfeeding. It's got formaldehyde in it, so not good for babies (and potentially adults too).

Think is under review in Canada/the US...

Very annoying as it would be the perfect thing to simplify a new mum's routine.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel really. I'm obviously excited but I think of my child a a toddler in my head. I don't know what my life's going to be like with a baby and I can't picture it. I have always worked and socialise through work. I am moving to another city when I'm 31 weeks pregnant to be closer to my family and dh has had a promotion to this city. I will know noone and I suppose I'm trying to keep hold of me so I can meet people I have things in common with. I'm Know there are mother and toddler groups. Oh I don't know, Im just happy. I enjoy my life now and I'm scared I won't enjoy being a mum so I just want to keep a few little things that make me happy. And before anyone harps on about I should of thought of this before I for pregnant Ect. We did, this baby is very much planned and we thought of everything. We have been married 5 years an have a really strong marriage. It's just last min nerves I guess. And EVERYONE I come in contact with giving me helpfull "oh you wait" stories.

OK, other practical things that might help without telling you you can't be you anymore....

Clarins do a good "one stop water cleanser" so if you just don't have the energy to move, you can just put some on a bit of cotton wool and give your face a once over to cleanse at least.

Collect those small mascaras and sample sized lipsticks so you can throw them in the bottom of your changing bag and always at least do that.

Buy 'cheat' products, you don't want to have a choice between full routine or nothing you can use quickly.

Oh, and just pale shades of finger and toe nail polish, that way if it's chipped, it won't stand out much. (You will spend a lot of time at baby and toddler groups taking your shoes off, oh yes, buy nice socks...)

People mean well they just dont think before they open their mouths. So many people told me" you life will never be the same, enjoy the lie in etc"...It did become rather wearing after a while. It is normal to be scared, a lot of things that you know are going to change. Are you giving up work as well to be a sahm? I would suggest going along to an antenatal group and a leache league group if you are planning to bf. Over here at least they are not hippy groups just young mums who happen to be bf. I made some friends that i have had for years in these groups. If there is a mums and babies group that might be better than mums and toddlers. Try anything once, if it you dont like it you dont have to go back. Did you organise your makeover yet?

people talk a load of shit, OP, for reasons that i can't even guess at. personally i have found having kids a TERRIFIC laugh and a brilliant way of meeting gerzillions of new friends. i didn't even find labour bad (and technically, it was quite a nippy one, no incense and water baths for moi).

the whole thing, imo, is a giggle. and yes, there are times when you are pretty tired, but really, if it wasn't so good people would never have more than one child. good luck and GO EASY on yourself. you'll still be you, you'll just be you with this hilarious little passport to joy slung onto your chest. (if you've any sense).