I am sick and tired of looking like a slob. Please help me change my ways :(

[Naoko]

A combination of depression, weight gain and lack of money has led to me having very little to wear. As a result, I live in about three combinations of nasty cheap jeans and a university logo hoodie or plain top with cardigan for warmth, usually grabbing whatever's not in the wash. It's making me unhappy and I want to change it but I don't know how. I've barely bought any clothes in the last year because the weight gain bothers me but realistically speaking, I do need something to wear while I work on getting it off again!

I'm 6ft tall and a size 12-14, probably closer to 14 now. Fairly blessed in the boob area, 34DD last time I bought a new bra (a fair amount of the weight gain seems to have ended up here, I used to be a 30C!). Long legs and torso, but none of the 'tall' ranges seem to fit me, they're all cut wrong because I also have substantial hips. Always have done, even when I was a size 8 so I assume I'm just built that way.

Most of the excess weight is now on my thighs, upper arms and stomach so those are not good areas. The arms are a problem whenever I try on tops/dresses - it'll fit everywhere except on the arms! I must have unusually fat arms or something for my size :( In summer this is fine because I just wear a lot of sleeveless tops but I really feel the cold so refuse to wear those in winter unless I have a suitable layer to go over them - am bad at figuring out what goes together though!

I can just about pull off the jeans/uni hoodie look some of the time because I am actually a student, but every day just gets depressing. As a complicating factor I live in a small town the arse end of nowhere and have access to a limited range of shops, and am on a serious (student!) budget. I thought about internet shopping for clothes but I worry I'd just end up sending a lot of it back due to poor fit, and I can't really afford to spend a lot of money and wait for refunds.

What do I wear? Where do I go to buy it? I'm sorry if I sound so deeply clueless but I really want to change this and I don't know where to start.

I have the same problem, I am 5.11" but I WISH I was a size 14

I don't know what your style is but I get a lot of basics from YOURS as they fit really well and are longer cut, I bought a skirt before xmas that was TOO long which is unheard of!

Some of the stuff is vile and polyestor but a lot of the basic stuff is great and cheap too so good if you are on a budget. Their range starts at a size 14.

www.yoursclothing.co.uk/landing-clothing.aspx

You could try asos - look in the sale - 70% off at the moment. Free delivery and free returns so no added expense ordering online. Their own asos collection range has some great basics

Next do jeans in a range of leg lengths. I've got a 32 inside leg and the long are too long for me. Pick ones with lycra in them and you should be fine.

Make sure you hair looks good (buy vouchers from Groupon, KGB Deals etc) and that you wear a bit of subtle makeup.

If my hair and face look ok then I always feel better about myself.

My son is v tall. He always wear skinny jeans with a t-shirt and then an open shirt on top. Maybe you could do this with your sleeveless tops?

I had a pair of jeans from Next that wore through last week (see this is how bad this is, I have so few clothes I'm literally wearing them to death) so that's a good idea, we do have a Next so I'll go have a look there. Asos online sale is a good suggestion too, I quite like some of the stuff on the website - maybe I'll just have to bite the bullet on online clothes shopping!

I had a look at your link valium and I'm not sure it's my kind of thing - not so big on busy patterns and they seem to have a lot of that. Thanks for the idea though :)

Your look as you are sounds lovely; don't feel you need to do some sparkly dress thing.

H&M for basics. Take a day to go in person to lots of different shops in your nearest town and try on as much as you can. That includes styles you wouldn't normally consider like tunics or dresses over leggings with long boots (for example). Internet clothes shopping works best when you know what suits you - otherwise it's time consuming and demoralising.

Best advice I was ever given with respect to clothes - from hereon in only ever buy clothes that you LOVE. If you're just 'meh' about it then don't get it.

I try and make an effort - am 5ft10 and size 16
Mainly I wear flares with cowboy boots under, and v long tops. I pop a light cardy over or layer up with v thin tops
New look has some lovely extra long tops in like this (linking on phone might not work!)
m.newlook.com/mcs/publish/1741/12732?prodid=230845472&cat=cat20006&name=basic-tops

I also wear these tops with skinny jeans, and low heeled hiking type boots. Or leggings, denim skirt and flat black boots

Aw thanks HedgeHop :) I don't mind the things I do wear as such, and certainly won't be squeezing myself in any sparkly dresses because it's just not me, but I literally have about three outfits and I'm so bored of it. They're also all at least 4 years old, in fact both my favourite cardi and my favourite hoodie are now coming up to 8 years and starting to look decidedly tired - which makes me also feel tired and worn, if that makes sense?

It's not that I want to change, I just think I need some new stuff that, as Latsia says, I actually LOVE. I'll feel better about myself that way, I think.

Brighthair - I have some stuff from NewLook, mostly because it's cheap, but (sounding like my mother alert) I've found the quality very poor. Am I just unlucky or buying the wrong things there?

I do find it hit and miss
I snapped up the long tops as I really struggle getting ones long enough! Although they are washing very well and they feel really lovely

New Look do a very variable range for tall gels, not all stores have the full range but they usually have at least one or two good pairs of trousers every season, as do Dorothy Perkins.

You sound quite similar size and shape to me (a bit slimmer actually!) as I am tall and big hips / big boobs.

I find that having a decent pair of jeans and a decent pair of black trousers makes everything much easier. If you buy a pair and they still look good after a couple of washes, go back and get a second pair as it's often years between me finding the right fit!

Once you have trousers sorted, long-length tops are ace. I try to find tops that fit just below the hip.

Tunic style tops that flare from the boobs can be good for concealing tummy, but the fit on the boobs and the neckline needs to be spot on.

I like boat neck and slash neck tops as I don't show off masses of cleavage for work etc.

Couple of jersey dresses are good for work or semi-formal. I wear them with matching colour cardigans. Even the dreaded waterfall cardi - I think this style looks loads better on us tall girls and like the slightly swooping / witchy effect!

If you've changed bra size that much I recommend you go and get yourself properly measured at bravissimo. The arms not fitting - sounds to me as though your bra might not be quite right? If I wear something even a single cup size too small it tends to push a little roll of fat out towards my armpits - which could then interfere with sleeve fit? Comfy pretty bras of the right size will improve your shape
and posture no end.

6 foot and size 12 to 14 sounds gorgeous IMO.

Personally I find ensuring my hands and feet are always done and wearing mascara makes me feel good.

Dorothy Perkins had some nice casual dresses in recently.

So do topshop.

The New Look tall jeans don't fit me at all. I've no idea what the deal with them is but they're either 5 inches too long (and honestly I'm 6ft tall and wear leg length 34 jeans in places that do variable length trousers, how many women with legs 5 inches longer than mine are there going to be? Who are they for? These things puzzle me :o) or the length is right but my hips don't fit in. I guess they're just not right for my shape.

I got a summery tunic top from Next, like Grumpla suggests, that I absolutely adore last July. It's far too thin and short-sleeved to be worn at the moment (flared kimono-style sleeves so I can't even layer something over it) but that is the kind of thing I'm looking for, I think. Seems to suit me really well.

I would like to wear jersey dresses but I think I need some handholding to find the right ones. They always seem to draw attention to my stomach, and not in a good way, or just look like I'm wearing a bag. I'm sure dresses that suit me are out there but I can't seem to find them! Any thoughts greatly appreciated :)

Thanks so much for all the help everyone! Keep the good ideas coming, I have to pop out for a bit but I'll check back tonight :)

OP I HATE busy tops - I buy plain, you have to hunt a bit.

I'm with you on the tall range. The tops are usually great, the bottoms are 6 inches too long and drag on the floor - and that's with heels!!!
If you do find some that fit you can always have them taken up if they are perfect everywhere else

Do you have boots you can tuck your trousers into? Then it doesn't matter with the length - might widen your choices.
Have a look on ebay for the same make as the things you are happy with - but have worn through.

I do have knee high boots (many knee high boots in fact, it's the one item of clothing I'm not short on....) but I never tuck my trousers in, I find it uncomfortable. Sorry, I'm fussy to boot! :o Probably not helping matters....

Had a quick look round town this afternoon for something suitable and was driven out quickly by a sense of depression at not finding anything I liked. Think I just need to pick a day where I'm not in any rush and don't have to be anywhere else later so I can take my time over it. Might also help if I didn't do it in a flying storm, the desire to go home and be warm was somewhat overwhelming....

Tunic top / short dress + leggings / opaque tights + calf / knee boots. Easy, comfy. Can also do same thing but with top and short skirt (I do hoodie + denim mini). TBH 6ft and size 12-14 sounds like you are in nice proportions, I am nearly a foot shorter than you and a 8-10, so I would say proportion wise we are pretty similar, plus you probably have lovely long legs not little stumpy things like mine.