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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Outfit for a wedding in America

77 replies

TeamSledward · 02/01/2012 21:52

I've been invited to my cousin's wedding in America.
I've been invited to the Rehearsal Dinner on the Friday evening, and then the wedding ceremony is at 5.30 on Saturday, followed by cocktails, dinner and dancing.
Then there is a Sunday breakfast reception (coffee, juice and light snacks, apparently...)

WTF do I wear?!
I have a lovely flattering black lace dress that I would like to wear to the wedding, but I have concerns. I wouldn't wear black to a British wedding, but is that acceptable in the US (especially with a cocktail party after)?
And what about the Sunday do? Any weddings I've been to here, where we've stayed over, everyone just rocks up to breakfast in the hotel bleary eyed and wearing their jeans.

I'm 5'2, and a larger lady. Big boobs, apple shaped, but cracking legs (even if I do say so myself!). Size 16 waist, with an 18/20/22 top, depending on which shop I go in.
And on a budget too! Don't really want to spend more than £75 on a dress, would love to spend less that £150 on outfits for all three occasions.

OP posts:
Original poster
TeamSledward · 02/01/2012 21:57

My black dress is a bit like but lacier and without the satin bits

OP posts:
Original poster
TeamSledward · 02/01/2012 22:00

Also have a red satin dress like this, but with a thinner belt.
Too slutty?

OP posts:
Original poster
TeamSledward · 02/01/2012 22:24
OP posts:
BiscuitNibbler · 02/01/2012 22:25

When my American cousin got married the rehearsal dinner was casual dress - everyone went there straight from the rehearsal at the church, so I wore jeans. The Sunday breakfast was also casual dress.

As for the wedding itself, it was at a similar time to the one you are attending, and a lot of people were wearing black and more "evening" type clothes.

Maybe just ask your cousin a few questions as to what's expected? I'm sure she'll be happy to put your mind at ease.

Have a great time!

PastGrace · 02/01/2012 22:28

Have you been given a dress code?

Formal American weddings seem to be black tie, so might be worth checking.

I don't the red is too slutty - if it doubt would it not do for the rehearsal dinner?

When is it? Will it be hot or cold? Wet or dry? Indoors or out?

Original poster
TeamSledward · 02/01/2012 22:39

Wedding is at the end of March, near Washington DC. I think it will all be indoors.
Thanks for your help so far!
I'm still trying to arrange the time off work (only need to swap my day off) but I am getting very excited - I've watched to many rom-coms and TV weddings and keep imagining it will be something like "My Best Friends Wedding" or "Bridesmaids"!

OP posts:
MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 02/01/2012 22:44

NB even if you don't normally like fornicators fascinators, you should wear one, the yanks don't and go MAD for 'em.!

Have fun

Original poster
TeamSledward · 02/01/2012 22:48

Really?! Fascinators found fascinating?!
Will they think I'm dead posh, like Pippa Middleton or summat?

OP posts:
MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 02/01/2012 22:51

@TeamSledward

Really?! Fascinators found fascinating?! Will they think I'm dead posh, like Pippa Middleton or summat?

IME yes.
Where is US?Envy

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 02/01/2012 22:51

sorry where IN US?

Blush
PastGrace · 02/01/2012 22:57

Washington DC, Olivia.

OP - I'm excited FOR you. Go and have a play with the John Lewis fascinators/hats. I could spend hours there. I think my friends and I are more excited about my sister getting engaged than she is (and it hasn't even happened yet - I just really want a wedding to be excited about)

PastGrace · 02/01/2012 22:58

Also, have you discovered Four Weddings US? I'm hooked. They do weddings differently there...

Original poster
TeamSledward · 02/01/2012 23:21

Is that on Sky?

OP posts:
PastGrace · 02/01/2012 23:26

Yep - Sky Living, I think.

TeamEdward · 02/01/2012 23:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EnjoyResponsibly · 02/01/2012 23:34

Op I went to a wedding in the US of an English friend to an American.

The British guests looked like, well English wedding guests; flowery dresses, hats etc

The US guests looked like they were going to the Oscars.

It was not good.

I'd wear a cocktail dress to the rehearsal, evening dress to the wedding and smart trousers/top to breakfast.

MaggieW · 02/01/2012 23:42

I agree with Enjoy. The only US wedding I have been to was much much more formal than anything I'd ever been to here - long dresses, lots of bling etc. Rehearsal dinner/breakfast smart too. Fun though!

MNHQ
OliviaMumsnet · 03/01/2012 00:01

Helps if I read thread properly

For 5.30 ceremony
Yy to oscars red carpet style eve dress (chaps in tuxes i presume) but have fornicator too

snice · 03/01/2012 00:06

what sort of weddings do you go to Olivia?

Kristingle · 03/01/2012 00:28

I have been idley browsing mother of the bride websites ( for Dd wedding next year) and have noted that all the american sites sell evening dresses as MOB wear. Completely different from the uk sites. So i conclude that typical british wedding outfit is NOT the way to go.

mathanxiety · 03/01/2012 01:48

I also agree with Enjoy, especially for an indoor DC wedding that will feature cocktails afterwards.

Don't wear jeans to any of the events.

DC is formal/Southern/Virginia -- unless you know for sure that your cousin is marrying someone from a trailer park best to assume dressy is going to be acceptable, and that means more dressy than the British floral frock and sandals that yer aunt might wear.

kickassangel · 03/01/2012 01:58

Do you know how many people will be ther and the type of venue? Weddings can vary , but US ones are completely over the top at times. A fairly standard one could be 200 guests formal wear and speeches, dances etc.

Find out a bit more. I live in US and watch reality shite obsessively and could link to some sites for you

BloooCowWonders · 03/01/2012 01:59

Steady on Olivia.

mathanxiety · 03/01/2012 02:03

Black lacy dress would be lovely for the wedding and cocktails.

I think the red satin one would be less so.

As for the rehearsal -- if it's informal (a barbeque for instance) then something less dressy would be fine, but if it's at some chic restaurant or hotel then dressy would be necessary and maybe the red satin would work. Accessories can dress up or down an outfit. Shoes/heels too. If informal a wraparound style dress would work well just to be on the safe side and not the only one who turns up in trousers.

Whatever you wear, don't neglect to have your hair laminated. Americans are adept at making sure weather couldn't possibly send a single hair astray.

Jacksmania · 03/01/2012 02:06

I'd ask your cousin how many guests there will be and if she can translate the dress code for you. Are you close enough that you can ask her to spell it out in detail?
Disclaimer: I don't live in the US but in hippy flippy BC near Vancouver, Canada, and in my experience the rehearsal dinner can be anything from dead casual (jeans) to men in suits and women in nice cocktail dresses. Could be at someone's house or at a dead posh restaurant. So I'd ask.
For the wedding I would totally second Olivia, wear a fascinator, people will swoon! 5:30 pm reception (or was that the time of the wedding? Sorry can't remember Blush) would call for v. nice cocktail dress.
Wedding breakfast - middle of the road. Nice trousers (I would stay away from jeans) or skirt/dress. IMO if you're going to stand out (which you might not) you'd probably rather be noticed for being dressed very nicely than for being too casual.

Oh and I hope you drink. Because to get through wedding speeches, IMHO, you need to drink. cringes at memory of cousin's summer wedding