Help! Feel a total style-free zone, want to change but don't know how/where to start...

[ojbsmum]

I feel a mess most of the time and have used having had a baby as an excuse for too long, though to be fair I was a mess long before DS came along.
I've just never really known what suits me or what to buy, I dread clothes shopping and often come home empty handed or buy stuff I never really wear. And don't get me started on hair, shoes, make up or accessories!

I truly feel I am a lost cause and need Gok or even Trinny or someone to sort me out!

Now DD, probably last baby, is here I'm determined to do something to sort myself out so I can feel better about myself and my family can be proud to be seen out with me!
So my question is how? What should i do? Money is (v) tight. Would a session with a Debenhams personal shopper for example be worthwhile/enough? What about House of Colour or similar colour/style days?

I'm giving myself til my birthday in the spring to save up for Operation Wardrobe Revamp and DH and other family are offering to use Xmas and B'day presents to help out but want to know if there's any hope for me and how to go about this?! As I've said money is tight so can't afford to blow this as won't be able to repeat it...
(Sorry for long post, not realised how down I feel about my lack of style til I started typing)

i so know how you feel but there's hope! i seem to be on a bloody colour and style day mission with my posts today but i had mine done when my 2nd dc was 1yo and really needed to get out of a similar style rut and it really worked for me.

you do sound like you'd really benefit from it but you'd need to have both to get full benefit which would be £230 in total which would take a big chunk out of any shopping fund. it is worth it tho because in the long run you'll save money in not buying the wrong stuff anymore.

good luck with whatever you decide

just on the style day - the day itself gives tons of confidence as it provides a kinda affirmation of who you are. once you've had it done you'll probably feel better immediately as you'll feel you're on course to getting to where you want to go iyswim?

you'll hopefully also find you already have things in your wardrobe which are perfect but just need to be styled differently.

it also really inspired me to focus just a little on ME again rather than exist in the fog of motherhood.

Thanks so much, CakeandRoses. I think you're right, Without a bit of guidance I'll just keep buying things that aren't quite right. wasn't sure if a personal shopper did much advising or just fawning/selling!

Have had a look at the House of Colour website and it definitely looks interesting. Lots of money but, as you say, probably worth it.
Glad it worked for you. Out of interest, how long ago did you do it?

Anyone else got any advice or experience to offer?

Maybe a personal shopper at JL or HoF would set you in the right direction. But maybe be upfront with them and say you are looking for help now but will hold out to see if the items she suggests appear in the sales in Jan? They don't charge but am guessing they will either be mega busy or mega quiet at this time of year?

What about taking a good friend and booking a session with a personal shopper at one of the big department stores? They can run round and suggest different outfits, friend can be brutally honest. Do a bit of research before you go, what sort of 'look' do you like etc, take some magazine pictures.

Snap Tracy!

Oh exciting!

I personally would consider doing the colours day only.

Then, given you have lots of time to organise yourself you could do the following:

Cull your wardrobe and ebay what you can.

Then I would list all occasions you need to dress for, albeit as simple as possible such as Toddler group, Coffee with friends, Dinner with DH, Park with DC's, Family lunch in a pub etc.

Think about what you would like to be wearing at these times, get inspiration from magazines etc. I personally think that you know your life and what you need to wear for it better than anyone.

List the things you want to wear, you'll find that some items overlap, such as jeans/blazer. These should be things that you can invest a bit more in as you'll wear loads.

In terms of budget, I would recommend Zara for high street but look out for 20% days in House of Fraser, where you can get some good brands like Whistles for cheaper.

Tell us what you want to achieve with hair and make-up too.

Hope this helps.

OP - I only had them both done in the summer but I already feel like a different woman! i think every new mother trying to rediscover her style mojo should have them

wideawake have you or someone you know well had a style day? it's just that they're a lot more than the wardrobe planning and capsule wardrobe type stuff, i didn't find that aspect all that useful or interesting (altho some might). the thing which i got tons out of was the style personality aspect as it's made me realise which styles (and very specific details like collar shapes and sizes, scale of print etc etc) suits me and which don't.

shopping now is so easy as i just scan the shop for my colours, jump on anything that matches and then look at the details (small print: check; small ruffle: check; right length: check). I can decide on things so much quicker now and make very few mistakes.

i'm now wearing (and loving) things which i would never have looked at previously and have ditched the stuff which i always felt weren't quite right but couldn't work out why.

there;s no way i'd get all that from a personal shopper or just planning my wardrobe.

I just thought that seeing as the OP states that funds are limited it would be useful for her to have a guide to organise her wardrobe that she could do herself. Leaving more money to spend on the clothes in the end!

i can see what you mean - doing both days is very expensive and you've given good advice. I just got so much from the days and it was just the boost i needed so was a really worthwhile investment. i just think it might be a very good foundation for the OP even if it takes a bit longer to rebuild her wardrobe afterwards.

It's tricky isan't it. Because when funds are limited you really want to make sure that what you buy is 100% right and yes, both days would really help the OP achieve this.

OP don't forget to keep an eye on the vouchers/promotion codes board here on MN. Lots of good discounts for some brands that might be too ££ otherwise.

Thanks so much for all these ideas.
I've been feeling rubbish about how I look for ages but not thought I could/would do anything about it. I'd heard of getting colours done but didn't even consider it for me. I like the advice of getting more of an idea of places/occasions I need to dress for and culling/ebaying my wardrobe could help fund some shopping once that's done.

Since posting I've read loads of threads about 'colours' and looked at other websites and really feel that i need more than just a friend's perspective when shopping, though I'm sure that would be a good start in the short term.

I talked to DH about this thread. He didn't laugh at me and has offered to give me the colours day for Christmas! Yay!

I'd love to be able to do the style day too though and am thinking about it as an investment in time and money in the future. I've mentioned it to my parents and inlaws and hopefully Xmas/birthday gifts might help make it possible.

Thanks again for your help.

oooh, i'm really excited and happy for you :) i do think it'll be a great help for you and a real confidence boost. feel rubbish no more, my dear!

i wonder what you'll turn out to be?! exciting stuff eh?

if you turn out to be a spring then make sure you PM me and you can join our springs fb group too! actually - PM me even if you're not a spring and you want to join anyway (we have an autumn and a winter on there)

before i was 'done' i'd correctly guessed that i was a spring but got my style personality completely wrong (I thought i was a romantic but i'm actually a natural ingenue) - have you been puzzling what you might be?

I'm totally confused by all the names and categories!

I'm 5'2, blonde, blue eyes, little overweight and wobbly...
I seem to be drawn to fairly 'jewel' like colours but then chicken out of wearing them and stick to black, white and grey- but not sure they do anything for me...
Can't wait to find out!

Out of interest where did you have your colours done? How did you choose your consultant?

ah - tbh, it's best to wait to be done properly as there's no way of being certain about your season without being draped (i just guessed lucky about mine - even the consultant wasn't sure til she'd tried lots of drapes) and the style stuff is based on a lot of detail about your personality and exact shape which is hard to be objective about.

i went to the one in sawston, cambridgeshire - she was one of two close to me and i preferred her page on HoC website. the other one had a massive spelling mistake on hers which kinda put me off given she's in the business of excellent presentation