Help! Your never-failed-yet quick boosts - I look a tired old frump

[Shootthetombliboos]

DH took pic of DCs sitting on my knee bcs they were being cute and showed it to me - and I nearly cried. Wd have done in fact if DCs not in the room.
I look old, tired and grim. Not helped by not having had a full nights sleep since the spring (thanks DD2) and being an older mum (41). Was reconciled to being an older mum but not an old granny.
With 2 under 3 I have been under the cosh, no time for skincare routines, leisurely baths, clothes shopping etc - and looking at the picture today it blooming well shows.
Obv need to rethink. How can I at least look like a member of the human race again? Or is it all a grisly slide down wards now? Depressed beyond words....

fake tan

These are miraculous (promise!)

oops - try again here

runs to Amazon immediately on recommendation of MrsSB

SeeLyon which fake tan do you recommend? I have fairly pale skin

Mascara, undereye concealer and groomed eyebrows.

It's a cliche to say "enjoy them, they won't be little for long", but it is so very true. It's a precious time, and not one where you should beat yourself up about not looking perfect. Children don't care what their mum looks like.

It's not all a grisly slide downwards. The children gradually take up less time, and you can reclaim some for yourself.

I had three under five at your age. I knew I'd let it all slide too far when the security guard in Woolworth's started to follow me round. If I had time, doing some or all of the following made me feel better:

A good haircut, and find the time to blow dry it each day.

A coat you feel good wearing covers a multitude of scruffy mum clothes, covered in baby sick and splodges of cauliflower cheese. A nice scarf and gloves, and you will be effortlessly chic.

Find time to put in ear rings/ wear other jewellery.

at OneHandFlapping being followed around by security guard.

I fear rather the security guard running away in horror with a Scooby Doo style scream

Scarf, gloves and nice coat a great idea

Jewellery, yes. I've been lax about that basically cos DD2 grabs it all.

I am being vain I know. DCs don't care at all, and DH supportive. It's just whispers I hate this old witch look staring back at me....

OneHandFlapping, that happens to me sometimes, too! Being followed by security guards. Thought it was just me, I've had to make a conscious effort to "dress up" to go clothes shopping!

Nice shower with body scrub to get ride of dead skin. Either body lotion after or use creamy shower gel
Eyebrows - pluck or thread
Exfoliate face or face mask
Touch of make up

All makes me feel and look loads better and doesn't have to take too long. Shower, scrub and make up took me 15 mins this am. Face masks good as you can do stuff while it's on!!! Except answering the door maybe

You must have some time when they go to bed? I try to have Sunday night as my grooming night. I agree with whoever said get a good hair cut. It takes no more than a minute to put on some powder and mascara. Shop online. Buy clothes that fit even if a size bigger than you would like. Try dresses rather than jeans - more forgiving of bumpy bits. I have two under three, work full time and still manage to wash and style my hair and put on make up every day!!

Learn to love your older face too. You're not going to look 20, and why would you want the characterless doll face of a 20 year old? Be a wonderful looking 41 year old, celebrate your wisdom and life-experience, and stop searching for the Elixir of Youth.

We all buy into this media myth that only young women have any value, and therefore we all have to spend loads of money on skin cream and Botox look as youthful as possible. It's a trap from which there's no escape, because there's only one alternative to getting older, and I don't think any of us want to take that way.

Good haircut/colour is an absolute essential as it means you dont need to spend long styling it.

Keep a few basic bits of makeup in your bag, near the door, and resolve not to go out without some on. Compact foundation takes 30 secs to apply, ditto mascara and lipgloss.

Good coat and bright scarf

Yes I must make more effort. DH works away from home during week so it feels like I always have one or 2 children clinging off me...but I can find 30 secs to put foundation on (After I have found time to buy it that is ....)

WipsGlitter you put me to shame.

OneHandFlapping...yes I have to learn to love what I look like. It's just - that it's all happened so quickly. Two years ago I looked my age and I liked me - now I feel I've aged 10 years over night...

There was a useful thread recently, about how to look good using only a limited amount of time / effort. I read it at the time - I think the gist of the replies was that you had to make sure all of the basics were done (eg haircut, nails etc), and that a small amount of makeup (eg concealer, foundation, blusher, mascara) would help you to look and feel good every day. Online shopping may also have featured.

I don't think I'll ever be the most stylish / well groomed person, but I think I usually look okay. Anyway, we all need something to aim for .

I second Seelyon on the fake tan - I like Clarins - it;s a bit more £££ but if you treat yourself and get a handcream or some foundation (I like skin illusion) then they always seem to have the offer to get 2-3 travel sizes as well. I went with DS last time and managed to also get some little samples of their wakeup face range maybe I looked like I needed it!)

Try to put a little make up on everyday (unless you really aren't going to see anyone) - as you get into the habit of doing it so that it is then just routine. Then try to also do 5 mins grooming each night (one night file your nails, next do your feet, next your eye brows, nexst fake tan rubbing etc etc) a big pampering session each week just doesn't work for me as I tend to fall asleep in the bath with my face pack still on, then have to chip it off my red face once the bath has gone cold. My DS has gotton used to brushing his teeth while I give my legs a quick go over with the epilator.

Clothes wise - dark bootcut jeans with a black top is my standby outfit (I wear polo necks but I know they are not for everyone) You HAVE to wear blusher though or you will look washed out. If you need a dress, try an Isabella Oliver 365 wrap dress, I have the one in black and have worn it and worn it. Washes well and doesn't lose it's shape.

Frizzy hair? either treat yourself to a Keratin/Brasilian blowdry or get the kit online (amazon) and do it yourself - it makes doing your hair a doddle for 2-3 months. If you just blow dry it is rather than the straightening irons it won't be as straight or long lasting, but it's a lot easier to do.

Sorry way too long a post!

Not too long a post at all chocolateteabag much appreciated.
I have curly hair so very much tends to the frizz
wrap dresses - I dont have much of a waist (have got back to prebaby weight but not a great figure - never had a teeny waist)
am planning to do nails while watching IACGMOOH so the new me has begun :)

I find that taking time to put my clothes out the night before and put my mascara and tinted moisturiser next to my toothbrush helps me in the morning. When hubby is away for work I get up 15 mnutes early so I can get a decent shower and feel refreshed and ready before the kids get up.

DD is two. Whilst I've almost managed to enjoy every minute, I felt I had to look half decent to do so. Up until 6 months I didn't really care, then it hit me at an antenatel meet up that I was wearing my only pair of jeans, that had now shrunk and were too short through tumbledrying, and a really shabby black fleece, and this was my best outfit!

For me it was mainly a clothes and weight issue, (I'd managed to keep up on haircuts). I gave myself a decent budget to buy clothes that fitted now and resolved to get down to pre pregnancy size by eating less and moving more.

The latter worked, but I certainly don't regret the pile of now too bif stuff.

Good luck

Katy

Oh come ON. YOU HAVE 5 minutes. Stop wimping.

KatyS36 Clothes that fit now are the simplest form of looking gorgeous. I only wish I'd take my own advice...

Er SeeLyon was that directed at me?

I'll let you know I am sitting here with foundation, blusher and mascara on and nail varnished nails this morning (and only one of them has chipped so far.....)

I get up and have my shower/hair/make up as soon as can in the morning - if I ever think - I'll do it after breakfast/coffee etc - it never gets done and I'm a mink all day.
TV on for ds while I do it - nothing gets in the way of this till I'm ready to go.
Can you book a salon - say every 4 or 5 weeks and get the lot done all at once. Facial, eyebrow wax and colour, eyelash tint, leg wax. It can prob be done in an hour and a half. Book a 9am slot and you'll be back before kids and dh are fully up!

Clarins beauty flash balm fab. Makes me look like I have had sleep!

no! at everyone.

Watching thread with interest. I've DD1 who is 4 this week and DD2 is 6 months and I've just returned to work FT.

I would add tinted moisturiser - goes on in a flash and evens out skin tone. I use the boots one and always but it on 3 for 2 or with a £5 off voucher.

And I don't do fake tan, but I do find using a bit of blusher esp over the winter is well worth the effort.

Agree 100% re getting eyebrows in order - it takes 5 years off :) We are having lots of family pics etc later this week as its DD!'s birthday so I'm going to get my slugs eyebrows threaded at lunchtime. Must get haircut soon.