Naturally gorgeous girls ......

[blobtobetter]

I work in an office with a group of girls who are tall, slim and always looking good and dressed well. Even though they say they don't bother with their hair and make up for work they still look pretty glam.

I don't know how they do it!!!!

I am clueless and must be missing that stylish gene. No matter what I do I just look like I covered myself in velcro and rolled through my wardrobe. Being HUGE doesn't help but even if I were slim I doubt I would ever look put together.

Is there any cure for fashion / beauty cluelessness?

Firstly you sound pretty down on yourself, you can bet that there s a few of them
Probably looking at you and wondering the same!
I d say it s more about being happy in yourself, if you think you need to loose a few pounds to do that then maybe make a few small changes - join a class cut out junk food focus on your positive attributes. Walk tall hold yourself confidently and believe in yourself.
Then get yourself an easy make up routine - I started wearing a bit of make up ( foundation blusher eyeliner and mascara ) to work and the difference it has made was huge !
Make sure what ever you wear is well fitting clean and suited to your working environment

blobtobetter are you comparing like-for-like....if you are a parent, are they? Not saying that parents cannot be stylish (there are lots of ladies on here who obviously are) but I remember returning to work post DS and feeling like an alien compared to the young 'carefree' 20 something?s that were in the office. I felt like a 100 year old granny!

Also, having been fascinated by such types throughout my working life, I have realized that perfect make-up requires lots of touching up during the day?which I usually cannot be bothered with.

Also if you are bigger (as I am) are you ?guilty? of thinking ?I won?t buy anything until I am slimmer??resulting in a depressing wardrobe? I was lucky enough to have a stylist session (a gift) and the lovely girl said ?Dress for the size you are now? and it struck a cord. I just know, fat or not I do feel better in newer more current clothes.

Do you have a friend you can ask? Or could you use the services of the department store make-up counter or a personal stylist in somewhere like John Lewis?

And there was this thread with some practial tips - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/1317420-Calling-all-you-got-it-together-stylish-well-groomed-Mums

I do that the depressing "I don't deserve nice things until I am slim" wardrobe! I guess I don't think I deserve all the pretty clothes. Need to start being nice to myself.

I always seem to be comparing myself to others and coming up short. I guess because I am short (5'2) and overweight (ok obese - hate that word) all I see is things I don't like when I look in the mirror. I guess I have to work on my self confidence otherwise even if I do lose the 4 or 5 stones I need to I still won't like what I look like.

Going to the nurse practicioner didn't help - "ooooooh look where your height and weight are on this chart. You are OBESE don't you know that is bad for you?"

Apparently I should weigh between 8 and 9 stones. Walked out feeling like a monster.

I think we all have times when we look around and see others as more glamourous, stylish, slimmer - the list goes on and on. But by making small differences and sticking to them can really make a big change to how you feel and give much more confidence. But you must not lose who you actually are.

Try to wear a few basic make up items, as suggested by theseventhdwarf. I would recommend the nivea tinted moisturiser (only couple of quid from most supermarkets), mascara, tinted lip balm. Over time you can build on different things such as blusher, eye shadows, eye liners and stronger lip colours. All these can be picked up quite cheaply. Just practice at home until you feel confident even go to make up counters such as bobbi brown for a free demo.

Also think about booking a personal shopper appointment (debenhams do them form free) and ask for a few work / casual basics to go with key items you already have in your wardrobe. A couple of new tops can really make a difference and would go with trousers or jeans you already have. Also consider accessories such as chunky jewelery or scarfs to brighten up existing items and draws the eye away from bits you may not be very happy with.

I really hope this helps.

Hi blobtobetter!!

Wow reading your story is amazing as that is me!!!

in january 2010 i was morbid obese weighing over 11 stone and im only 5ft, i went on a massive and healthy diet and by january 2011 i was 'ideal weight' and am 8.5 stone now, i have also just started working in an office full of lovly ladies, all pretty and stylish but the funny thing is.........the see me as 'pretty and stylish'!!! i am now whats classed as thin but to myself i am not as i have a big bum, love handles and tummy, but the way i dress hides it well, thats my trick at the minute untll i actually shift the last bit of weight i want gone

best advise i can give you is give yourself a year to get to where you want to be and before long it all spirals into one another and things just begin to fall into place all at once....its exciting

this is what i did

Healty diet - do lots of exercise and always think to yourself ' put some effort into it' loool this worked for me, i also do the shred time to time but i lost mst my weigh o the wii fit as i was beggining to get obsessed with weighing myself and always wanted t ' beat my weight' but i am competitive like that

keeping up with this forum helped me alot too not that i bought all the things that goes round mumsnet but this way i always knew what was sort of going on.

buy some nice face creams, get your skin in good condition. I bought the Vit E cream from superdrug £3!!!! and i love it, you dont have to spend loads at all
watch lisa eldridge videos on her website and practise with what ever make up you already have. again i become obsessed with this and watched it loads of times and still pop on there now to see whats going on and whats new

at the minute taking full advantage of it being autumn, when i wear a clourful jumper dress thats a bit bold like deep fushia pink of green or dark aqua im always complimented when truth is this time last year i would never adventure away from black white grey or navy. come next autumn get some nice boots and a lovly coat as this is what you will mainly be seen in as its cold

I actually get my hair cut every 3-6 months now instead of the once a year cut lol

and smile.....alot

sorry for the essay, im sure your perfect as you are there is a women at my wrk and she is large and i think she is sooo beautiful, yet she doesnt see it which i think is strange lol its not all about size but thought id tell you my story to see if it helps you......maybe this time next year youll come across as post similar to this and give your advise for what you did

good luck with it all
x

Ohhh and when the girls at work say they dont put any effort into there make up and clothes for work, this is normally a lie, i say it myself, but its nt true.......this is just a thing we say so we dont come across wrongly

x

I know it sounds a cliche but isn't it how you are as a person that counts and you sound nice and friendly.

By all means if you want to lose weight go for it but be happy in the skin you are in and try not to compare yourself to them.

I agree with the posts about good skin and keep your nails looking good if you can even if you just wear clear polish.

I must admit I do it myself all the time. More for the way my personality is and if only I was more like x, y or z then I wouldn't feel the way I do about situations.

Have you ever tried a personal shopper service? I believe they have one in Debenhams. I just feel I am too relentlessly scruffy to ever go for it, but I might one day

I've been told I am one of those girls albeit being a size 16. My routine takes minutes. The trick is maintenance and knowing what suits you. A smart capsule wardrobe with different accessories helps too.

Concealer, foundation, a smidge of bronzer, well kept nails and eyebrows, a good mascara, moisturising after a bath or shower for that 'glow' and shine serum to make your hair look luscious in an instant.

Sadly, I still feel I look a state and not exactly put together on a daily basis. We can never fix our own insecurities. The chances are what you see is not what others see.

Wow anon80 what an inspirational story :) Well done! I like the idea of "giving yourself a year", when you are seriously overweight (as I am), it all feels a bit overwelming, so putting it in the context of a year seems good.

OP - you aren't a monster and you definately need be nicer to yourself - but I know that is much easier said than done. Sorry you had to go through that experience with the healthcare professional.

Have you heard of HAES? Healthy at Every Size movement - it is focused on being healthy and happy at the size you are. They question the reported link between being overweight and health issues. I like their "acceptance" message, but as I really want to loose the weight - or at least I think I do! - then I am not so sure about the "stay as you are" message.

Anyway, your body is what it is (for now), so why not buy a couple of new bits - if the bank balance allows - and focus on doing a few things to care for yourself (like others have suggested skincare, nails etc) and if you want to loose weight, think about how etc. I am still learning from the ladies of the style thread, but online shopping seems to be the way and over order (different sizes and various things, then return those you don't want) in the hope of finding a couple of gems.

Good luck.