what should I wear to a memorial service?

[toastandmarmiterocks]

My DH's grandfather died, there is going to be a memorial service. My inlaws are not my biggest fans. I am from London, they all hate London and definitely view it as the big racy city. None of them ever wear heels despite no one topping 5 foot (other than DH but he doesn't wear heels ). They will all be dressed very conventionally, yawn, no imagination. Of course I don't want to dress in appropriately but I want to look good. (so many issues with the inlaws, wouldn't want to bore you with details but I need to feel uber confident). I am thinking black pencil skirt with these which are the only shoes I have other than bright colours, I don't have any black shoes and would rather buy a top than shoes.

What should I wear on top? Can I get away with the shoes? I have a very lightweight long black cardi that is quite smart, I certainly don't want to wear a suit jacket (don't have one anyway!)

Oh and I am skint!

those shoes are ok, if the rest of your outfit is black (the skirt and cardi)

I don't quite understand why you are viewing such a sad occasion as an opportunity for you to stick one to the inlaws though

oh, you want to buy a top

I would buy a silky pussy bow blouse in a muted colour

I don't want to stick one to the inlaws. Sorry if it came across like that. Its just that they make me feel like shit so I want to feel that I look nice and I will feel more confident to get through the whole day.
I suppose I am a little worried that they will raise an eyebrow at high heels and pencil skirt although I don't really care if they do so long as I look nice. If the whole of mumsnet screams WRONG WRONG WRONG then I will have to have a re think.

I like the idea of a silky pussy bow blouse, had already searched for a black one but it was a bit too see-thru (and I know that would be inappropriate . )

I don't that outfit is wrong.

I think a creamy, brown, grey or beige blouse would be ok too, not necessarily black if your skirt/cardi is black

Really though, I don't think your inlaws are going to be concentrating much on you, since one of their parents just died. Just a thought.

I love the shoes, btw

They are not exactly stripper heels are they

Oh I'll be totally blanked as I always am. I just want to look good in the process! And my sisters in law (all three) won't miss a trick. Its a not the funeral its the big social memorial service, I'm not going to the funeral, DH is going without me.

Is it worth it, seriously ?

It sounds like what blouse to wear is the least of your issues here

yes but I'm just looking for advice on the outfit not all the other stuff.

fair 'nuff

Well, I hope it goes as well as it could

Can I say that ?

summat like this ?

this is pretty and no sleeves to bunch up under a light cardigan

Thanks AF, say what you like, whole point innit? I think I prefer the second one, might look too like a secretary in the first one.

Cat, I've got an idea in my head although I'm not definite. I would like to hear other options too thats why I ask.

I attended a memorial service last summer, wore a black fitted jesire wool shift dress with matching jacket, bare legs, pearls and aubergine courts.

People wore all sorts, I prefer more formal dress though.

I would say pencil skirt/heels/blouse very appropriate dress. A cardi and muted colour shoe absolutely fine, personally i would keep jewellery/accessories minimal as one lady had loads of bracelets on that jangled, it was quite distracting when we were trying to listen to readings.