Tell me what to do with my hair

[FellatioNelson]

I have naturally medium/dark brown hair but these days I am about 30-40% grey, especially around the hairline which is scarily white. I have been like this for years but I colour it all one block colour, not dissimilar to my natural colour, but slightly redder/warmer. It can fade to a slightly drab and tacky copper brown though, which I hate.

I am struggling to hold the white roots at bay now and I'm starting to look like a badger. I think I am ready to start lifting the colour and highlighting, and go gracefully, classily grey.

I love to think that I'll end up with a very chic Mallen streak on a lovely swishy bob, but I'm scared it will just look hideous and ageing.

I also need to lose some length and grow my blunt fringe down a bit. My hair is currently a longer, wilder, straggly and slightly out of control version of what's on my profile pic. I love a good bob but I don't think I can go fringeless now. But I'm not sure lots of highlights will work with a fringe. I don't want anything too styled or 'funky' or choppy or try-hard. I want an elegant non-style. Actually, I don't know what I really want!

I've booked tomorrow for a radical cut and colour. I can picture how I'd like to end up colour-wise though it might take several visits - effortlessly silver across the front, with blonde/ash streaks blending into the brown at the back and underneath. But I'm scared now.

I don't have to go cold turkey with the grey but I have to start a process where it is gradually and less painfully introduced!

Help me pleeeeeeease........

Just an observation, but those colours in the backdrop (the tree etc) and the rich mahogany of the leather seating REALLY bring out the best in your colouring leaving the black and white looking disjointed. That in mind going blonder/ lighter might not do you justice as you seem to have warm peachy skin. Maybe a slightly lighter chestnut colour would help blend the grey a little. Some colourings don't suit grey. Re hairstyles you have a lovely shaped face and a jaw length A line bob with it shingled at the back and graduated through would look great. The fringe could be side swept and thinned out then grown out with ease until it too is jaw length. HTH.

You look good. Your description made yourself sound much older and greyer. Think the shape of hairstyle suits you. As does a dark hair colour. I would not alter too much, maybe just get a hairdresser to suggest the way forward with colour.

Oh. OK. I am having the wobbles about going much lighter now anyway - which I always do, which is why I always come out with the same all over warm brown all over again!

Catswipe are you a hairdresser? You have that technical yet creative talk that makes me swoon.

I've just realised that photo is pretty much useless as it is too miniscule to see my hair very well anyway!

Don't go lighter! Your colouring really suits a dark shade - I'd keep dying it as long as you can, perhaps ask the hairdresser to introduce one or two slices of colour to add interest.

Hi Fellatio, I had a similar problem til yesterday. Ended up having a T section of foils, as most of the grey is concentrated along the parting and hairline (v common, apparently.) Tint on the rest. Including a cut and rough dry off, it cost £60. Full coverage of the grey.

Sounds to me as if you're not as worried about the style as the colour thing... my mum went fully grey/silver in her 50s after about 30 years(yes, really!!) of dying it brunette. It ended up suiting her, but she had to fiddle with colour tints for a while, as the base grey colour was actually a bit harsh. And she went to have her colours done, as the colours she used to wear all looked a bit washy and odd against the new colour.

I saw a lady last week who who so beautiful I had to make myself stop staring, and she had white/blonde/grey hair.. it's worth finding a fab colourist. The cut was one of those choppy/flicky bobs with little bits flicking up. Didn't look like she had tried too hard at all. I think anything that looks overly straightened/blow dried under/wavy/glossy is going to be high maintenance and look it.

Good luck, want to hear all about what you go for!!! Wish I'd had mine done ages ago, it's a bit darker than I intended, but may go for lighter next year...

Yes, I keep telling myslelf I don't need to do it yet and I'll probably end up looking older which is not the intention, but I saw a lady with beautiful hair that was brown, but streaked with lots of natural silver grey, all through the front, and I suspect, some artfully applied ash blond highlights, and I could't stop stariing either!

However, the harsh truth is that I will probably just look like a washed-out frumpy brillo pad. am also too lazy/inept to spend hours styling and straightening it regularly so I need a nice low maintenance cut.

Ooh you look a bit like me!!!!!! But much younger.
I too am in the middle of a hair crisis......love the Mary POrtas hair but not the colour on me. I can not go without a fringe, and at present have a nondescript choppy bob.
I think a sharper cut will make me feel better...

And you look nothing like the image I had of you!!!!

I really like your colour now, I wouldn't go too much lighter. Maybe a little shorter and a bit more choppy, but your hair is lovely as it is.

You look too young to start embracing your grey. My mum was very dark brunette (like me) and dyed it for years, and she was lucky to go a fantastic shade of silver, but not until her 50s. My first grey appeared at 35ish, and while the colouring is a pain, I'll be sticking with it for the forseeable future!

Aveda black malva conditioner is great for toing down the red cast you get as the brown dye fades.

Right then, I'm home. Thankfully my hairdresser said exactly the same as all of you: 'What on earth do you want to do that for? Your colour suits you and you are much too young yet'. It's nice to be told at 45 that you are too young for something.

So, I have had a good few inches lopped, (so it is now a bit shorter than in the pic, but not much) some very long layers put in through the bottom just so the ends are not too blunt, had the tiniest fringe trim to allow it to grow down a bit and sweep to one side, and I've had basically the same base colour again, but with some caramel/beige/goldy lowlights put though the middle section, so you can't really see them from the top, only when I swish my hair about. It looks very nice. My DH just saw me on skype (he's abroad) and immediately commented how nice it looked and I didn't even have to tell him!

Style wise it's a bit like this which is exactly what I wanted.

That's a good tip about the Aveda conditioner (had my colour in an Aveda salon) thanks, I will get some.

But, I had a good rummage around at my roots before I went, and honestly, the first three inches of my head from hairline backwards is almost pure white all the way through.

as for styles mine was pretty similar to yours but have had it cut into a graduated bob,fairly chopped at the back but below my jaw at the front,it looks really effortless chic (even if I do say so myself) & I have let the fringe be brushed over to the side as mine was blunt.I am still colouring mine at home & have to say the dark brown that I use (very near natural) looks really great with this cut.& btw I have looked at your pic & I would say stay dark,it really suits your colouring :o