My son is getting married. What on earth am I going to wear?! Please help.

[bleedingheartlefty]

I have no idea what to wear, I am not good with colour. I haven't been to a wedding for years.

I usually wear black, grey, blue or cream, oh and a darkish purpley colour too. I feel like I should have something colourful and a bit floaty for a summer wedding, but I fear I will just end up looking like a tit and be uncomfortable because I am pretending to be a lovely lady. I am comfortable in smart business wear or something like jeans and a stripey t-shirt. This middle ground is a bit of a mystery to me. People will be looking at me this time, I can't just stand at the back. Oh god, I just thought about it, there will be photographs.

I am 46. Size 8-10. Quiet flat chested. 5 ft 2. Mid brownish/red hair.

The venue is a country hotel (in Scotland) and the ceremony is on the lawn.

Any suggestions would be very gratefully received.

You are so right about the glamourous version thing. I have sort of forgotten who that is.

I wonder if I could get away with a pashmina or something if I found an amazing dress ( and an umbrella, obviously). What do you think?

Tatty, you are so wise. You have made this much less scary already. Thanks.

Go to House of Fraser / John Lewis type place and find their personal shopper service. Take a friend or daughter in law to be.

Me and my mum did it in John Lewis when I got married - it's free and quite intersting as they brought in stuff we wouldn't have looked at. Got a lovely outfit at the end, partly from store and partly from somewhere else.

And have a lovely day!

Wear something in your style. Do NOT try to dress as a mother of the groom. You will feel uncomfortable. My mum is all about plain stylish clothes - black, navy, cream, the odd bit of royal blue or red. She's never worn a pastel in her life and was v worried about what to wear as mother of the bride.

She looked stunning at my wedding last year. She got a black skirt with a bit of cream stitching, the matching top and a gorgeous cream jacket with matching shoes. She looked amazing and it was very her! She got it all in mother of the bride shop Jacques Vert, where she didn't think she would find anything she would like (they do a lot of the pastel stuff) but their stuff is well made and inbetween the pastels, there was some lovely stuff. And the main thing was, she looked like herself and felt completely comfortable.

If the wedding is quite traditional, you might want to check the bride is ok with you wearing black or navy or cream. I had no problem with it and it seems increasingy common. And if you go for a colour, you might want to check what the mother of the bride has gone for so you don't clash (I believe etiquette says she gets to pick first). My hubby's mother didn't check but also wore black and cream which made for nice symmetrical photos!

In summary: don't stray out of your comfort zone!

That's another thing, the brides mother. She is in her mid sixties, the only thing I have ever seen her wearing is those rohan trousers that zip off at the knees. How am I supposed to co-ordinate with that!

Think Mummy Middleton.

I want to look like her if some poor misguided fool marries either of my DC.

Google condici for some ideas. My mum looked lovely in their black and pink outfit.

You are welcome Bleedingheartlefty

well yes you might get away with a pashmina. if by luck you chance on the best day we have had this year.

or it might be bloody freezing like it was for most of may and you will be wrapped in a woolly shawl. its ok if you are just a humble guest but you are suppoed to be the second most glamourous woman there ( assuming MOB turns up in her rohan trousers)

for goodness sake woman, you live in Scotland, dont ask stupid questions about the weather. get a dress with coat or jacket.anyway you can reuse it when your 6yo gets married as no one will remember

is it a v posh hotel?

How about this dress with matching jacket?

Also comes in light blue.

Or you could do clashy with a dress like this and a jacket like this

This is really useful, I am looking at things I normally wouldn't think of trying.

Kristina, you are right. I'm not going to be able so sneak back to the car to get the down jacket I spend most of my life in, am I?

Haha, at the thought of anyone ever marrying foot stamping, nose-picker DS2.

Oh some lovely links here! That kaliko teal dress is a lovely colour

Well bleeding heart, are you going shopping tomorrow? Only 4.5 school days left

I have a personal shopper thing booked in Debenhams on Tuesday. It takes 90 minutes to do a mother of the bride/groom apparently! John Lewis had no spaces till 5th July. I will try to persuade my stylish (and honest) friend to come shopping for a while at the weekend.

I am so far away from a kaliko.

kaliko dresses in john lewis

order now, have delivered to the store on tuesday, try them on in store and return on the spot. simple

please report back after debenahms personal shopper

My mum went to a personal shopper at Peter Jones for both my brother and sister's weddings (both got married in last two years).

Both times the lady found her the perfect outfit with hat.

For my brother she had green and purpley silk chiffon Jaegar dress with a purple jacket and hat and for my siter's she had a cream shift dress with fuscia pink roses from LKB and a cream phase eight jacket with fuscia pink hat.

The only mistake she made was the shoes for my brothers wedding which were sling backs and she wore with tights and was slipping all over the place. For my sister's she invested in some low black patent wedges from Russell and Bromley which were perfect.

The beauty of the personal shopper thing is they get you to try things you may dismiss on the hanger (the dress my mum wore for my sister's wedding we looked at early on and said no good too short/ not enough shoulder coverage but when the shopper eventually got her to try it, it was perfect) and you can also get the complete outfit.

She got colours for my mum exactly right.

My grandma saw the same lady for my sister's wedding and again got a perfect outfit.

Good luck and enjoy shopping!!!