Ok - who has realised that since hitting the menopause somehow we've turned into our mother?

[Shineything]

It's scary and I don't like it - I looked nothing like her until the last few years (am 49) - how did that happen?

My DH says he'll leave me if i turn into my mum. Really annoys me that cos she was a lovely lady who i miss so much since she passed away 2 and a half years ago. But....she was a nightmare during menopause. I remember her losing the plot and chucking a fish slice at my Dad. It missed and hit the window luckily!!! I've not done that yet but give me time!!! Im just 48 and have been on the menopause for a couple of years. Hot flushes are killing me despite wearing a magnet in my undies that is supposed to stop them. All it does is make me stick to the conveyor belt in Morrisons when i'm packing my shopping. Great fun. Actually, my memory has gone crap too, i need the loo loads more (thankfully can still sneeze and cough safely), am getting old hands and need pile cream on the bags under my eyes. God i sound a pretty picture!!!!

I don't look like my mum. But I have an increasing stash of plastic pots, tubs and jam jars. I don't know why! I clear them out every so often (or give them to Mum, heh) but they keep on coming ... I swear this pot-collecting mania began the very same day as my menopause. (January 22nd, 2006, since you ask.)

I've gone apple-shaped, which means I wasted years and £££s doing gym stuff that was specifically designed to keep me in shape as I aged. And, despite having the pelvic floor of a carpenter's clamp, I pee at unexpected moments

On the up side, I've just read a fabulous Margaret Drabble story about a woman who decided to 'let herself go' - and, instead, bloomed. I decided to channel her at a nerve-wracking party last week: I wore a brightly-coloured tent, flat shoes, minimal makeup and frizzy hair. It worked!

From now on, I'm going for Large, Loud And Blooming Proud

Does anybody any little pots, tubs or jam jars?

My OH knows that to really upset me he says "...just like your mum"

'Tis so strange because I adore(d) my dad who was such a different character to my mum.

I would love to be even half as gentle and sincere and genuine as my dad was.

Now crying.

wearing a magnet in my undies ... All it does is make me stick to the conveyor belt in Morrisons

Literally ROFLing! Thanks, GS

garlicbutter, yes I LOVE tupperware and the like!! My family are sick of me collecting them so I have to sneak them into the trolley when shopping. I'm not allowed near the betterware/kleeneze catalogue either . I have found some brilliant uses for them too, which justifies it to them all... apparently my Mum does it too...

GrannyS..... thanks so much. I needed a laugh this morning and it's definitely too early to drink.

garlicButter....I too have spent my entire life at the gym. Even when pregnant, I went for as long as I possibly could, just to keep moving. Now, I go 3 or 4 times a week and frankly, I needn't bloody bother. I am pear shaped, cellulite ridden and no matter what, WOBBLY. Not sure if I'm menopausal yet (49) but do get hot/memory lapses/hyper-sensitive emotionally at times/and need a ton of stuff on my face just to look like I'm in the land of the living. I love the idea of letting it all hang out but am under the watchful eye of step daughters who look at me and wonder WTF their dad ever saw in me, in the first place!

The worst bit? It all coming round this quickly!!! Anyone else feel like it's 5 minutes since they were 21?

Glad i brightened your days wendihouse22 and garlicbutter with my magnet!! It's good to know the bloody thing has something going for it!!
I just need to add that for some reason i'm fine in Asda!!! Clearly different types of conveyor belt but this has now influenced my shopping habits. :o

what's the magnet supposed to do in regard to the flushes? Do you wear it going through airports?

I have always looked very like my mum although I am blonde and she is brunette but since I hit 35 it is actually scary how much I am starting to look like her. Not happy about it as we are currently estranged plus my mum always looks so unhappy(even when shes not!). So I am make a concerted effort to smile a lot. To the point that I catch my reflection in shops windows etc and I look like a loon!.
Also I recently met up with my mother(not seen her since xmas) and we were dressed nearly exactly the same!!. Scary. Really dont want to turn into her as she has spent her life being dissatisfied with her lot.
Have told my dh I really really want botox for xmas this year.

It's not the physical resemblance that worries me - I am taller and not much like my mum at all - but it is the behavioural tics that are alarming me.
I remember my sisters and I getting so irritated with our mum having sneezing fits which could go on for about twenty minutes and now I find myself doing the same. Aaaaah!
Not sure if that is a menopausal symptom
But I worry about losing control of my saliva (something that has happened to her) if I ever inadvertently spit (usually in anger...)

Then there's the sudden mood changes - but can you imagine a house of three girls going through adolescence and a mother going through menopause?

It was only because I looked the spit of my mother in a recent photo that I went to the dr with hypothyroidism.
I look just like my mother , menopausal and all puffy faced, thin haired and washed out.
Now I am on thyroxine and HRT, I can get back the years my poor mum lost in a fog of tiredness.

But must stop accepting clothes mum finds a bit too tight or I will look like her twin!

The magnet wendihouse22 is supposed to reduce flushes, help with irregular periods, mood swings and things like that. I was told about it by a friend and she says it worked really well for her. It stopped her flushes and periods and stopped her acting like a psycho. I've worn it for 4 months now so i've given it a fair trial i think and it really hasn't done much for me. Although i will say that although i wasn't that moody before i wore it, i was getting kind of like mini panic attacks and they've stopped now. Maybe i should persevere and just shop at Asda!! :)

I'm on chemical HRT and I'm staying on it! It stopped my hot flushes the very next day, I've only had half a dozen 'feeling a bit warm' ones in 5 years. I've only missed 2 periods yet, though - Mum's menopause took 15 years (argh) so not holding my breath.

It doesn't make me stick to posh checkouts, though

Me too garlic. I gave in a few months back and feel much better for it.

What did you "let go" of, Ormirian? I'd lov eto know what I'm allowed to let go of...... Sometimes I think, "I am 50 next, I'm allowed to have wobbly bits and not care so much". But then at other times I see someone like Helen Mirren at 70 and thing, "50 isn't an excuse to let yourself "go" !

What's permissible?

I don't think I said 'let go' did I? I am a bit weird atm so I may have said it and forgottne

Id you are referring to my 'giving in' comment - I meant given in to HRT.

Hmm. HRT. Can I ask what the risks are? Gave up smoking 4 months ago, so maybe the doc will consider prescribing it for me now? Am, haven't had a period for about 6 months and only 2 during the 6 months before that.
Have just finished the first year of a university degree (got a 1st!!!!) and am very busy with voluntary work related to my course. I NEED to feel bouncy, fit and energetic .

Don't have any meno symptoms - no hot flushes, actually feel more even-tempered without the PMT every month. But zero libido , Plantar Fasciitis in my poor feet, stiff joints, thinning hair, crone-like claws and ever increasing waistline. The rate of visible decay is truly depressing.

Sorry - meant to say "Am 50".

According to the GP the risks are minimal because I will only be taking it for a few years.

My hot flushes and night sweats were getting unbearable and I wasn't sleeping. Still had the odd bleed but never knew when or for how long. Bloating really badly tool

Sadly HRT hasn't stopped the general rate of decay though! Still got a bad back, tendonitis in my left foot and DH I still have a groaning competition when we try to get out of bed in the mornings

Thanks Orm. Sounds like (fingers crossed) I have got through the worst without assistance. Had a few years of pre-menstrual night sweats and hot flushes, but nothing since the periods went AWOL.

Looks like I will have to soldier on without artificial help! I was curious because my mother still takes a very low dose of HRT at 82! Back in the 80s and 90s I knew a few late-50s and 60-something women at work who were very bright-eyed and bushey-tailed and SWORE they kept young, fit and active due to HRT. It certainly looked that way - it was visibly obvious who was taking it and who wasn't. My mum has always claimed the same. I guess the medical profession has since decided that the long-terms risks outweight the short/medium-term benefits. Shame!