Shit, shit, SHIT. A lovely friend has given me a beautiful gift... and it's by a company I actively boycott :(

[TheWestCoastLotus]

I posted here because it's an item of clothing.
This is a really more of a WWYD, or maybe a cry for some comforting... I am not a twat (well, mostly not)(oh crap, I really hope I'm not), and I'm not being precious, and before anyone flames me as an ungrateful cow, I gave my friend a huge hug and said thank you and was so excited about the gift... and then I saw the label :(:(:(

It's a company I simply can't support, I object to their marketing strategies and their internal policies (some acquaintances have worked there) and most of my friends know I don't buy anything from this company.
This friend doesn't, we haven't known each other very long, and I would not for the world hurt her feelings.

It's a jacket, and it's gorgeous. It's sitting on my bed, looking at me, calling to me, saying "I'm beautiful and you'll look lovely wearing me, my colour is fantastic for you, just put me on!"

Shit shit shit. If only it weren't by this company. I'd wear it in a heartbeat.

I try not to let convenience or vanity get in the way of principles, and have resolutely boycotted this company for years now.

Could I have some (kind) advice?

yeah, cut the label off

Have you got a link to the jacket, out of curiosity? All I can see online is a selection of fairly drab fleece-type affairs. I'm wondering what makes this jacket so amazing. Not especially relevant to your dilemma, but I'm nosy.

I agree with the people saying make a donation to something you believe in to balance the Karma.

But I am not sure that it is worth getting that worked up about the Landmark Forum. I know a couple of people who've done it (including an ex), and it is definitely weird, but even the exboyfriend didn't give me the hard sell. He is however, now hugely successful, and from what I know of it, it is actually a lot about being a 'sucessful' individual, rather than necessarily a happy or good one, so in some ways, it makes perfect sense to force your employees to do it. Not acceptable, just not irrational.

Well, I would wear the jacket because realistically it's not going to be returned to in effect, you can't boycott them after the event.

I think your main problem lies with the fact that people will see it and judge you. Well, that's life - if anyone asks, just explain it was a gift, you won't burn in hell for it.

I'm sad to see that Landmark appears to be so wacky. The only time I've ever heard of it is when a couple of girls (sisters) were sent on the course by their (rich) dad when they were in their early 20s. Their parents had had a tumultuous divorce and their upbringing was very 'woo' and unconventional in (some) good ways and (lots of) bad ways.

They were lovely girls, hope they weren't sucked into something exploitative

I would DEFINATELY ask the friend to send it back. And exchange it for something MUCH more interesting.

Tbh, you have to be brainwashed to buy that stuff.

Really difficult. I remember being a vegan and throwing away a beautiful old leather coat (you know, those fitted ones from about 1970) which I'd got for a fiver at Camden market and really adored.

It was a horrible, sad moment and I was really torn about the right thing to do. The right thing of course would have been to keep it and wear it and not waste it. I still think it was stupid even now, 15 years later. Poor coat [sob]

I realised I couldn't control the world, it was full of things that were dubious, in fact if I avoided everything dubious I'd have to live in a tree naked and then I'd feel sorry for the tree.

life is a wee bit too short to knock ourselves out over these things - but then, I can see why you feel tainted wearing something made by such a shit company. I'd wear it a couple of times when you know you'll see her, and as it's warm weather, just take it off when you get wherever it is and put it in your bag. Make sure she knows you're wearing it first, then just stash it. Go on about how lovely it is.

That should be enough, then you can keep it at the back of the wrdrobe for a safe period of time and give it away.

Yes, Landmark Forum must be incredibly litigious - all the articles I've ever read on them have just vanished, with the exception of a positive one from the Observer. One of the most powerful was a Daily Mail one which was very raw and honest, with the journalist admitting how upset the whole thing had made him - he didn't sleep for two days (I think) after it, he was obviously very shaken up. I can find a site which links to it and recognise the headline - but the DM page has been taken down:

www.apologeticsindex.org/news1/an010726-07.html

I dream of shutting the entire Landmark Forum down. I found them to be a horrible entity -- I speak from experience. I respect and applaud your boycott.

I'd put the jacket away. Don't shop it or someone else will wear it. She probably won't notice if you don't wear it, and even if she did, as long as you are being a generally sound and good friend, she will just put it down to having chosen something that wasn't quite right for you. If she does ask, then tell her, and offer to give it back to her.

I don't have a clue what this landmark thing is all about so will go and read.

Anniemac I think I should probably clarify. I don't like the Landmark Forum at all, and wouldn't go near it with a bargepole myself. But I don't think it is a classic cult.

From what I understand of it (which is actually mostly from a friend whose friend tried to persuade him to go, not from my ex) it's basically about getting people to do what you want them to do, and hence, I think taps into something a little bit unpleasant in people - bitterness and thwarted ambition perhaps, rather than lonliness.

Can you patch the logo?

I know exactly how you feel, as there is one company I choose to have nothign to do with (not difficult though as I dislike their products) for ethical/personal reasons. I don't think there's anything wrong with having principles about such things, as long as it doesn't come before more important things.

You didn't buy it. God this thread makes me realise how really CBA and don't give a shit I am when tired which is not a boast btw quite the reverse

DH got sucked into the Landmark thing years ago (before I knew him) by a particularly evangelical colleague. He went to one day of a course before he ran for the hills. Landmark continued to contact him via phone and email for about 5 years, despite his ever more vehement requests to leave him alone. In fact, I think they only really dropped him once he'd changed his mobile number (not implying he changed number specifically to get rid of Landmark - just a happy coinidence)