Dress me for work (please!)

[Alwaysworthchecking]

Right, so it's my first year back at work and I'm an assistant in an infant class. My clothes need to withstand paint splatters, flying gobbets of snot, sitting on dusty floors, joining in with P.E. (heck - that came as a shock!), being tugged by small people anxious to communicate urgent news, and probable absent-minded writing on with whiteboard pen. Essentially, I need a teflon jumpsuit. (But not an actual jumpsuit because it would make my bum look even bigger.) I frequently have to sit on the floor and squeeze myself through the unfeasibly small door to the home corner: the not flashing of knickers is a critical requirement.

funny how the P.E. came as a shock but the flying gobbets of snot did not...

Anyway, I am short (especially in the legs), an expanding size 12 with reasonable norkage (32D at last fitting - probably due for another of those). I am 40 and staring middle-aged spread in the face.

I think we can assume that patterned tops are good. Any other tips? And where shall I shop? Do not want to spend small fortune only for it to be Jackson Pollocked because I stood too close to the easel.

The winter wardrobe is fairly forgiving, I find, but spring is upon us and I'm a bit stuck. My SAHM wardrobe isn't up to the task!

OK. Elasticated-waist linen trousers (beige, of course), crocs and a Per Una Speziale cardigan it is, then.

Sounds perfect :o

I will be sure to post a photo of me in my new garb, salty.

Right, so in a fit of pique this morning I left the house in linen trousers, stripy T-shirt and my old-lady sandals from ShoeZone. I blame you all, I really do. (I did even try my Per Una cardi with it, but it somehow ruined the look.)

sorry no advice but did laugh at your post!

Can I recommend shortish dresses/ tunics, layered with a plain l/s top underneath if necessary (although prob not as, iirc, schools are always boiling hot!), combined with leggings and sensible shoes? Prob flat leather pumps. (I am a Cornish pasty girl myself although I know not everyone is!)

this kind of thing with black top underneath

the owners of posts as lovely as the OP's in our Establishment have actually asked for school uniform. Adult size, obviously. And they're about to get their wish. Bring on the polo shirts, tracksuit pants/leggings (totally gorgeous look, I'm sure) and navy fleece with the school emblem
nice
they only have to decide pumps or trainers (sandals banned anyway)/.

just count yourself lucky to even be having this debate

P.S. I work in juniors / SEN and leggings are standard kit, add to that any tunic / vest / long cardi / layers that you see fit. I'm a scarf fiend, you can get away with pretty much anything if you stick a nice scarf on

Thanks, ladies. More leggings it is. Are they not a bit sweaty in the warmer weather though? Couldn't agree more, MrsShrek: scarves are the way forward. Also, if the children want to pretend to be you, you can lend them your scarf and they are instantly dressed for the part. (Assuming it is not your fave scarf and they are nowhere near the easel.)

Oh my - uniform for the adults?? Mind you, I did some supply work in a nursery and I did kind of love their tabards, with their convenient and roomy pocket.

Cruella, I like your style. I will invest in some of those, although the one in your link is a bit 'out there' for me. I know I said 'teflon' but that does remind me of a baking tray. (In the nicest possible way, of course.) You're right about schools being hot: ours is permanently set on 'tropical'.

ZZMum, I'm always happy to oblige. :)

scarves with fantastic patterns with yellow and green essential, mind.

and discover cotton content in leggings, my dear. not the sweaty-betty nylon lycra efforts, they cost a bit more but are far more erm gentle on your errrrrr bits. I also have easy-care linen trousers, of the cheap variety from matalan, not the posh stuff you have for nice summer nights out I must point out. they fare quite well on the whole. I'm a lazy arse and don't do anywhere near enough ironing, by the time I have done three lots of childrens' school uniform i tend to wimp out on my own stuff! Hence more a creased look for the linen trousers. I hope the creased look is in fashion again this year

Oh, creased is so the new pressed, MrsShrek!

Well, my 'look' just suffered a new and severe blow. My mil, who is in her seventies, has taken to passing on her per una skirts to me, 'because they are too big for her now'.