Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

Original poster

A suitable haircut prior to chemotheraphy?

23 replies

notanumber · 20/03/2011 21:15

My mum is having chemo atm (just finished her first round) and so is expecting to start losing her hair after the next round.

She has had long hair all her life - it's an inch or two below shoulder length (all one length bar a bit of graduation framing the face) honey coloured with highlights. (She is a youngish 58 and is a bootcut jeans and waterfall cardis type of woman Grin)

She really wants to get her hair cut before the next round of chemo starts because if she is going to lose her precious hair, she'd rather it happened in a salon and cut into a style, than find it on the pillow IYSWIM. Even though the lot will probably fall out the following week, it's a psychological thing.

Her consultant has said that losing her hair is a definite but one of the nurses said to her that the particular combination she is on often only thins the hair rather than it all falling out. So who knows? I'm inclined to think that the nurses know best, but either way she needs to get it cut tomorrow.

She's very fragile at the moment and categorically does not want to have to have the converation with the hairdresser - she wants to just be able to go in and say, "I want you to do this thing (maybe give them a photo) to my hair please" and have them cut it without any discussion. However, she has zero idea as to what would be best.

Her criteria are:

  • Given that it may only thin, she's hesitant to get a drastic-drastic pixie cut or similar

  • She has a horror of getting a "neat bob" Grin

  • It needs to be relatively low maintenence as she is wiped out by the chemo etc.

Please advise (with photographs if at all possible) ladies. My mum - and I - would be very grateful for your wisdom.

OP posts:
TattyDevine · 20/03/2011 21:24

Ah hun. Shit.

Rather than a "neat" bob, how about a shaggy/flippy one?

x

TattyDevine · 20/03/2011 21:25

Then she could do some sea salt spray for body and shagginess, wont look greasy if she's not up for washing it...

Northernlurker · 20/03/2011 21:28

Have they suggested using the cold cap treatment with the chemo? It basically freezes your head. A friend used it for her chemo and she kept her hair which made a lot of difference to her. It's not very nice - a very cold head is horrible but it was worth it.

maize · 20/03/2011 21:29

Honestly it probably needs to be a crop - the thinning is more noticeable in bobbed/longer hair. IME most women did crop their hair prior to chemo or in the early stages.

Have you addressed what will happen if her hair does fall out - cover ups/scarves/wigs?

AntPants1 · 20/03/2011 21:30

I am so sorry your mum is going through this. Hair is such an important part of a womans image so I can imagine that this must be the last straw for your mum.

I think, daunting though it is, your mum (poss with you there for moral support) really need to sit down with her hairdresser and chat this through. We cannot really advise remotely. We do not know how your mums hair falls, the shape of her face or whether her hair has a curl or not. Her hairdresser should be able to recommend a cut that suits her and is low maintainance. Have you thought about using a hairdresser who comes to her house. It may be less daunting for her? I think she should probably go short by the way. Does not have to be elfin or a neat bob. She could have something with choppy layers where she pretty much only has to blast it with a hairdryer. Something like Jane Fonda's choppy look?

All the very best I really hopemthe hair and the treatment work out for your mum.

X

UrsulaBuffay · 20/03/2011 21:30

Sorry to hear your Mum's having such a tough time.

How about a Danni Minogue type bob that can be messed up and works with/without a fringe:

here

A graduated bob with layers is easy and not too 'neat':

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=www.weddingcometrue.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/graduated-bob-hairstyle-2.jpg&imgrefurl=www.weddingcometrue.com/graduated-bob-hairstyle/&usg=__UQxr8qr_h1uKgHtU6zIjE5N866o=&h=180&w=151&sz=5&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=UZS--d42hvO2qM:&tbnh=135&tbnw=113&ei=_XCGTZqiBIy3hAf-qbW5BA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgraduated%2Bbob%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1296%26bih%3D610%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=145&vpy=295&dur=223&hovh=144&hovw=120&tx=98&ty=85&oei=_XCGTZqiBIy3hAf-qbW5BA&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here

As crops go I don't think you can go wrong with a Michelle Williams style:

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=static.becomegorgeous.com/gallery/pictures/michellewilliams-shorthaircut-blonde-getty.jpg&imgrefurl=www.gallery.becomegorgeous.com/michelle_williams_hairstyles/michele_williams_pale_blonde_pixie-1708.html&usg=__tzwM04nmARRiR09qrN0SLTPbvVM=&h=542&w=390&sz=129&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=fnjo8MRcKNV7AM:&tbnh=143&tbnw=109&ei=UnGGTa-hHpmAhAf0rNS9BA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmichele%2Bwilliams%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26sa%3DN%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1296%26bih%3D610%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C115&um=1&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=296&oei=UnGGTa-hHpmAhAf0rNS9BA&page=1&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:18,s:0&tx=69&ty=29&biw=1296&bih=610" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here

Or Sharon Stone's is lovely, messy and still has length:

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=2.bp.blogspot.com/-wfgOHNlAnno/TW7uUiF3ynI/AAAAAAAAAJE/oehqF5fm5iI/s1600/22c70_sharon-stone-picture-005.jpg&imgrefurl=new-hairstyles-trend.blogspot.com/2011/03/sharon-stone-hairstyle.html&usg=__xIUVen8dmq93sbN0zFPaAeYtOCQ=&h=400&w=303&sz=27&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=_VhCVAH8z6FwUM:&tbnh=142&tbnw=116&ei=rHGGTdTUFoK6hAe-g9S5BA&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsharon%2Bstone%2Bhair%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1296%26bih%3D610%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=512&vpy=245&dur=46&hovh=258&hovw=195&tx=83&ty=173&oei=rHGGTdTUFoK6hAe-g9S5BA&page=1&ndsp=27&ved=1t:429,r:21,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here

Good luck with everything.

TattyDevine · 20/03/2011 21:32

Excellent post Ursula

suzikettles · 20/03/2011 21:37

Oh I wish your mum all the luck in the world - I hope her treatment goes smoothly.

My mum went through all this 3 years ago. What she did was sort out her wig before she lost her hair - it was a synthetic wig and looked virtually exactly the same as her natural hair (tbh actually better, like having a good hair day every day Smile).

When she started to lose her hair she made an appointment with her hairdresser for just after the salon shut. Her hairdresser shaved her head and then cut her wig for her so that it looked even more natural. The first time I saw her I actually forgot that she'd lost her hair as it really just looked the same.

My mum preferred to wear a wig around other people as she didn't want to talk about her cancer if she could avoid it. She wore a wee cotton hat or nothing on her head around the house when it was just friends/family.

I know this wasn't what you asked, and my mum had short hair anyway so easier, but just wanted to share her experience - it was much less traumatic than she thought it would be.

ivykaty44 · 20/03/2011 21:44

www.gallery.becomegorgeous.com/michelle_williams_hairstyles/michele_williams_pale_blonde_pixie-1708.html

I am sorry your mum is going through this, how good for her to have your support.

I would look at the above one someone posted - much easier to go thinner on this one.

The blunt cuts will not stay looking good if they thin and I would avoid them.

The above cut you could ask the hairdresser to leave much longer into the neck and around the ears - so it is similar to a long pixie cut.

4.bp.blogspot.com/_30PRmkOl4ro/SolSpm8-1jI/AAAAAAAAUws/apCIBS9yVAA/s400/short-haircut-2009-1.jpg

My fear for your mum is that the hair may well thin drasticly but not evenly and you may want to think about this and have a plan in place with the hairdresser in case.

pink4ever · 20/03/2011 21:50

I have had chemo myself so your mum has my sympathy. I had v long hair(bum length) that was my pride and joy but I couldnt face the horror of waking up to it on pillow so went to the hospital hairdresser. Got it cut into a chin length bob and then when it started to fall out(took about 8 weeks) got it chopped v short(went to the hairdressers just as it was closing so as to avoid stares). When it finally became a mere comb over my bf(now dh) shaved it off.
Best advice I can give is invest in nice scarfs/hats or get a decent wig.I had to make-do with the nhs one(awful-think agnetha from abba after sticking finger in light socket!).
Wishing you and your family all the best.

UrsulaBuffay · 20/03/2011 21:50

Ta Tatty, though I agree with you a Meg Ryan is a lovely cut!

UrsulaBuffay · 20/03/2011 21:55

Wow Pink4ever, we can't give any better advice than first hand experience :)

Original poster
notanumber · 21/03/2011 10:05

I really really appreciate all your very helpful pointers, ladies.

My mum is very nervous but feeling as though she does at least have an idea of what to ask for now - she's most keen on the Meg Ryan style.

Her cancer is terminal (she really only has a few months left) so her hair won't ever grow back and I'd really like her to have this be as positive (or least negative, perhaps) an experience for her as possible.

Thanks also for the advice on wigs and scarves. She really doesn't want a wig but is looking at turbans (my reaction was Hmm, but each to their own). She tried a scarf but can't make it look anything other than Princess Anne (though this is with hair, obviously) so is a bit dubious, but I'm going to try to look up ways of tying them etc for her.

Thanks again, so much.

OP posts:
CMOTdibbler · 21/03/2011 10:11

Notanumber - I'm so sorry that your mum is going through this.

The cancer centre should be able to put her in touch with the 'Look Good, Feel Better' scheme who will show her loads of ways to tie scarves. If she decides to look at wigs, then Trevor Sorbie set up a scheme to train hairdressers to cut them nicely, and some Toni and Guy salons can too.

ivykaty44 · 21/03/2011 11:01

Remember that scarves can be slippy and with hair that maybe fine - but without hair this isn't so great, don't purchase lots of silk scarves. Also hats that will fit now will possibly be to large later.

So think about a couple of things and then go shopping later for pretty scarves and hats in the childrens or petit department

UrsulaBuffay · 21/03/2011 11:03

Gosh I'm sorry to hear it is terminal, much love and luck for the future x

carciofi · 21/03/2011 11:55

Notanumber, so sorry for your mother. My mother had her hair cut into a pixie style before starting chemo. When she started to lose her hair, I bought her a silk pillowcase as it didn't irritate her head and reduced friction on her hair.

suzikettles · 21/03/2011 11:56

I'm very sorry notalone. Obviously your mum should do whatever makes her feel most comfortable and happiest in herself. I bet her new haircut will look great.

Another thing to consider (unfortunately): my mum also lost her eyebrows which made her feel very self-conscious as she has very dark hair. She got help from a lovely lady at her local Elizabeth Arden counter who showed her how to draw them back in properly so that it would look natural (she'd never even plucked her eyebrows though so it was all new to her). She could have gone on a makeup course at her local Maggies Centre but was very reluctant to access that sort of support - I think it was a shame as I've known other women who've found their services really helpful.

Maybe something you could look into if you've got one locally - they will support you as well as your mum.

pink4ever · 21/03/2011 15:46

God I cant believe I forgot about losing eyebrows/eyelashes!(thanks to poster who reminded us of this). I think that was perhaps the thing that made me look the most "different" iyswim? rather than the hair loss. Yes a good eyebrow pencil is a must or even getting them done permantly(also eyeliner).These are some things that might make your mum feel more herself and positive in the time she has left.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page