am I ungrateful, and if not how to deal with it...

[Icanboogie]

So, in the hell that is the Trafford Centre today and my husband said he had found my birthday present and would I try it on. It was this grey shift. I tried it on but for the money couldn't work out where I would wear it and the fabric felt a bit 'one wear' only - its a silk/wool mix with sheen... But it did fit well - plus I am very mousy and it felt like it didn't do much for me - but my husband likes me in shift dresses and said presents were not about choice... He is now upset.

I need to find a way to fix, has anyone any ideas. I love the idea of him choosing me a dress - do you think it would be okay for me to get a selection of dresses I like and then get him to choose... So go to John Lewis and find something ? Help!!!

I'm a bit surprised that he doesn't seem to want you to have something you like too - and will wear. Why is he so upset? Is he very controlling or something? Choosing one together seems a good idea.

well if presents are not about choice why didn't he just buy it and give it to you on the day?

if you ask someone to try somnething on and want their opinion then you have to accept getting it

it's a lot of money to spend on something you won't wear and don't really like.

I think it's sweet he chose something, but a bit weird he's upset. My poor dh expects me to reject things he chooses and is so excited when I like it! I would suggest a shopping trip together, lots of trying on and a mutual decision where he says what he likes, and you say what you like, and I'm sure you'll find something you both love.

Oh, and a meal out together (even if just a cheap one, or coffee and cake)!

And another thing. Some presents aren't about choice, but clothes definitely ARE. They are very personal, they need to fit, reflect your tastes etc. The decision to get you an item of clothing was (I assume) his choice not yours, but the specifics of it should be yours (or the ungrudging option to change what he's chosen). I buy dh things and always keep receipt in case he wants to change it, and am not offended if he does. We've been together for 7 years, but I still tend to try and push his taste a bit further than he's willing to go!

so we need to potenially do a bit of ego stroking as well as get him to think that its all his idea?

You could have a quick word with a personal shopper in advance and get them to prepare a selection of dresses that you like, i know for a fact that they are used to this sort of thing.

not sure if you are after ideas for dresses but I love looking at dresses so here are a few of my favourite shifts:

for me, this could be for going out or for work with a crisp shirt inside

very audrey hepburn and again can be dressed down

you cant go wrong with aubergine!

Hey thanks. Feel mean now. He's not controlling but he was brought up to believe presents should be a surprise, and then he feels like he has failed when he can't get me something like that. His Mum has a lot to do with it - its cheating to ask.

Good idea to go shopping with him. He builds it up so much and doesn't understand that I'd be delighted with the offer of a fancy dress/necklace etc.

Thanks for the help and I love the first Hobbs dress twoboots.