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Original poster

How To Deal With Someone Copying The Way You Dress!

20 replies

HappyHome · 03/03/2011 09:22

Hi,
I'm not really sure if I should post this here or in Relationships or AIBU!

I have a bit of a problem with my Mum copying the way I dress. Its been going on for a while now but yesterday was the final straw when we went out for a family meal and were wearing identical outfits Shock

Its getting to the point where if I wear something one week by the next week she will have gone out and bought something identical. I know its sounds silly but its driving me mad and spoiling the close relationship that we have.

I know we all get our inspiration from somewhere but it just feels soooo wrong when your Mum steals you style Confused

Sorry for the rant, I just wondered if anyone had any words of wisdom to help me deal with this!

OP posts:
gegs73 · 03/03/2011 09:24

I get this with someone I know. Its really annoying but I don't see her all the time so its not so bad and I guess it is a compliment Hmm Can you point it out to her and tell her to stop copying you in a jokey way or would she find that highly offensive?

RamblingRosa · 03/03/2011 09:24

They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery (or something like that Confused).

I would just take it as a compliment.

My mum does this a bit too and I'm just flattered that she likes my style.

barbieisaskinnybitch · 03/03/2011 09:27

Just have a word with her, make it friendly but say it's a bit weird, motherdear... :)

TragicallyHip · 03/03/2011 09:31

A friend I used to work with did this. I never mentioned it tho as I didn't want to upset her.

It eventually stopped.

Start wearing really awful clothes, maybe she will think twice before buying something similar! Wink

Original poster
HappyHome · 03/03/2011 09:42

Thanks for your replies,

Its awful when you starting looking like your mum Grin
Maybe I dress too old Shock
I just wish that she'd go back to being my stylish mum instead of trying to compete with me!

OP posts:
anon80 · 03/03/2011 10:45

Im on the other end?!! and have been accused of copying?? WTF.

My DH family member is the same age as me, so we shop in the same shops and follow similar trends as were the same age and she bought a lace dress, 2 months later i got some money in and went spending bought loads of bits and also saw a lace dress, not identical, diffrent shade of cream and mine was full lenth in the arm ect so a few variations but overall a lace dress- but i DIDNT buy it because she had, i bought it because i LIKED it.
I even told her in October i had bought one similar and she seemed fine, didnt comment or anything, didnt seem bothered, i was saving it to wear xmas day as it hides weight well, she turnt up wearing hers too, neither of us knew the other was wearing it, i wore mine with brown leggings and her in black leggings, but i did my hair and mkeup nice and she just looked how she does everyother day- accused me of copying her- said i saw her wearing it and RUN out to the shop and bought it Hmm - by her saying this i just think she is up her own arse!

Then afew days later i found out that when i wore a black scarf in October with my black top and jeans, she went round telling people there i was copying her Hmm - its ablack scarf, dont millions of women wear one? I didnt even know she owned one?

sorry OP to rant, just make sure she IS copying as i certainly wasent, she is nothing special at all and feel insulted that she thinks i would like to look like her... gag

monkeysmama · 03/03/2011 10:58

Me and one of my sisters often turn up wearing very similar outfits. It can be embarrassing when it's something very noticable (we wore the same bright red Reiss skirt to a different sister's birthday for example) but it usually just makes us laugh and we know to check before we see each other now if it will matter. We are the same size too. Makes shopping with her great and fast and if I ever want to try something on but don't have time she does it for me. I've never had a present I don't love from her either so there are plus sides Grin.

Original poster
HappyHome · 03/03/2011 11:55

If it was a friend or my sister it wouldn't bother me at all - we'd most likely have a laugh and joke about us both having great taste!

I think the thing is that it wasn't just the clothes yesterday (boots, jeggings, tunic, long cardi which are pretty much staples) it was the fact that she'd accessorised exactly the same, in the same colours even down to copying the same (quite distinctive) boots!!!!

A one off or a coincidence I can deal with but its getting beyond a joke. My DH has noticed and thinks it hilarious as has my sister. I really don't want to say anything that might hurt or upset her as we are close and have a great relationship.

OP posts:
reddaisy · 03/03/2011 11:59

If she likes your style so much, can't you offer to take her shopping instead to pick out some outfits for her so that she gets your input but without copying?

MmeLindt · 03/03/2011 12:00

Start dressing like Lady Gaga for a couple of months.

Original poster
HappyHome · 03/03/2011 12:11

MmeLindt - funny you should say that, she never copied me when I went through my 'creative phase' at college!Grin

Reddaisy - I've tried, she is alot shorted than me so tailoring (nipped in waists, fitted etc) suit her so much better. She knows all this and doesn't really need my help. When she dresses in this way it really suits her and she looks great.

OP posts:
Pippaandpolly · 03/03/2011 12:14

I had a friend who whenever I bought anything new would immediately ask where it was from and then go and buy it, usually in a different colour. She did the same with anything I pulled out of my handbag - purse, lipstick etc. I took to saying things weren't new or were from the States Blush.

anniemac · 03/03/2011 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HappyHome · 03/03/2011 14:32

I think its more to do with it being my Mum, maybe I just can't get my head around the fact that I now dress like a(almost)60 year old Shock but I guess it makes sense if 60's are the new 40's and all that!Grin

OP posts:
anniemac · 03/03/2011 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thumbwitch · 03/03/2011 14:36

Yes, I was going to suggest you change your style to something quite outlandish - although I was going to go for tree-hugging lentil-weavery stuff, rather than Lady Gaga, but I guess either would do!

I do know how you feel to some extent - I got quite peed off when my mum started dying her hair, and it was coming out the same colour as mine (we have NEVER had the same colour hair, by a long shot) - it just seemed like she was trying to reclaim her yoof or something, and that was Just Plain Wrong, IMO.

Meggles76 · 03/03/2011 19:46

I had a neighbour/friend who used to do this. I had my long hair cut in to a bob, she got a bob - I went blonde, she went blonde, I bought a parka coat, then she did - I painted my kitchen, then next month she did hers... and so it went on.

People say that it is flattering but I just found it Hmm Confused Angry

I have since distanced myself from her completely which is kind of a shame but I just didn't like it.

Can you bring it up with your mum in a casual way. Maybe say, 'we must stop dressing so alike' - see what she says

Jewelsandgems · 03/03/2011 23:06

my mum does the same thing and ive stopped telling her when i have something new coz she will go and buy it.

She also takes my jewellry like literally if i leave a necklace or a pair of earrings lying around, ill notice she's wearing it/them! She's had a pair of jet earrings that my friend bought for me ages ago and now she says they are hers and do i want to borrow them?!!

ZacharyQuack · 03/03/2011 23:27

How often do you see her? Is it possible to have a "Mum uniform" that you wear every time you see her.

MilliONaire · 03/03/2011 23:34

This doesn't happen with me but my mums sister is forever buying the same stuff as my mum and they end up looking ridiculous - like 60yr old tweedledum and tweedledee...I have NO idea how my mum hasn't said something about it, but she claims not to notice - I think she must like it, but it looks a bit crazy when you see them together, they look 'odd'

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