HELP! I need to ditch the jeans and fleece but no idea what to buy instead.

[Rugbylovingmum]

Hi,

I need help! I am 32 and in need of a serious makeover. I have been spending all my time in jeans and a fleece (which I know looks awful but it's easy), no make-up and my hair dragged up into a ponytail. I have no confidence and hate the way I look and the fact that I am at my heaviest weight ever isn't helping. I have started to lose weight but don't want to wait until I am slim to smarten up. I've made a start with a new haircut and some nice tinted moisturiser and lipgloss but the clothes are a huge problem.

I am a size 16/18 but I'm probably an apple (big belly) but I have quite big boobs too - DD. I went out at the weekend and my SIl lent me a shortish denim skirt (mid thigh, not bum skimming), thick tights, long boots and a loose sleeveless top and I felt really good and got some compliments. I live in jeans or boring trousers and I'd love to go for skirts/dresses with boots and cardis but I can't pick out things that suit me. I just think I look awful in everything and I have no confidence in my own sense of style. All the skirts I try seem to either highlight my big belly or come out from my hips and make me look really wide. Even my jeans don't fit properly and I'm not sure what type of shoes to buy that are comfy (after years in trainers I can't do heels) withut looking frumpy. I need some advice - if SIL lived closer or had weekends off she would shop with me but it's difficult to arrange so I'm hoping some of you can help.

If I could buy a few outfits to start with I'm sure I could gradually build up a wardrobe but I don't know where to start. Please help!!!

I am going to book an appointment at the large Debenhams store here and hope that they can help me put together a couple of outfits. In the meantime I thought I might look through some catalogues to get some ideas on how to put outfits together/what styles I like. I might try phase eight and boden as a change from my usual matalan and next clothes - any other recommendations?

Thanks again for all your help - I'm actually looking forward to going shopping for the first time ever .

Mint Velvet has some lovely stuff. Nice website that shows the clothes on real models - with jackets and acessories etc - so you can see the whole look.

I think accessories are really important. Invest in a really nice scark and a couple of long necklaces. They will improve most outfits instantly.

Scarf even!

Right, I have booked a personal shopper in Debenhams for a 'wardrobe update' a week on Saturday which is the earliest appointment they had. The appointment is for 2 hours , I don't think that I have ever spent that much time shopping for me before. I hope she is good and I find some nice stuff .

let us know how you get on, i wouldnt mind doing it for ideas but worry incase they pressure me to buy

Crapbarry maybe you could try one of the long, tube-like jersey skirts that are around right now to start off with, and then give other lengths a go.
Rugby Have a good time and enjoy yourself, and definitely let us know how you get on. Have a look at the Mantaray range whilst you are in Debenhams, they've just got in some patterned, knee length, jersey skirts (with a wide waist band, good for holding any bumps in!) - maybe not your style, but might give you some ideas.

Rugbylovingmum, I can thoroughly recommend the Debenhams personal shoppers. I've used them a couple of times, and took my mum. Ma is a tiny little round munchkin, but when she got the right size bra on, she suddenly found a waist that hadn't been there for ages, and looked much better in the clothes.
They will bring loads of stuff to try and don't do the hard sell at all. What I do is check the prices of the stuff I like while they are out looking for more things, then if they are too expensive, go and buy something similar in New Look or Matalan! :D

so you didnt feel pressured to buy that is what I am worried about

No pressure at all.

I am also an apple (or perhaps a column) as I have no waist.
One of the things I feel best is in a denim skirt I bought from H&M recently for £20 which sits just above the knee.
I wear it with black suede boots and thick black tights and I always feel good in it, much nicer than in jeans.

As someone else said, if you are an apple then your legs are prob pretty good so do make the most of them...

My life savers are the cycling short style control pants. Just be sure not to get them too tight or they feel awful after about 10 mins. I've seen discussions on here about which are the "right" ones (Spanx or cheapie etc) IMHO cheapie Matalan jobs are fine for every day wearing.

Clothes - I try things on in shops to see what size I am in different brands/styles and then look on ebay. I love LK Bennett Wrap dresses - but only ever via ebay. Ditto Jigsaw and Phase Eight.

I'm 5ft 9ins and struggle with lengths but find Isabella Oliver 365 clothes are all cut alot longer and the fabric of the jersey t shirts is really good (they are pricy - but cost per wear is good for the ones I have)

Olijack - sorry for delay. Yes I think they would , particularly the denim one, dark colours always slimming, also think Boden do theirs in a darker colour too. For your height Id wear them with heeled boots in winter and maybe wedges in summer?

thanks Gillybobs

UPDATE: Well I had my personal shopper session yesterday and, as promised, I here to report back. Overall it was great and I'm glad I did it, there were good and bad things but I'm very pleased.

Good - it was lovely to sit with a glass of wine and have someone bring me clothes to try on, I felt very pampered. She was lovely and very good at picking out colours that suited me and finding things I felt confident in. There was no pressure to buy anything but I did buy a few things. The best thing is that she made me feel confident wearing something other than jeans and a fleece.

Bad - she had no idea how to choose things for my body shape (size 18 apple) so I finished up trying on some very unflattering clothes - for example she brought lots of trousers that were baggy and pleated at the top and tight at the ankle and I just looked like a big ball. The upside was that I found some lovely things I would never have tried in a million years but I didn't end up with any trousers/jeans. I wanted to come away with a few outfits to start with but I'll actually have to have another shopping trip before I can wear most of it (the lovely skirt/vest/cardi outfits I bought will have to wait for better weather).

I'm pleased with the things I have bought but also a bit nervous as I'm not used to wearing colours/patterns so I'd love the mumsnet seal of approval on the following bits if anyone has time (before I pull the labels off).

dress looked awful on hanger but the style really suits me
skirt with a vest top and cardi
longskirt not sure about this one but makes me look quite tall and slimmer
skirt also with a vest top and cardi

A quick question too, I ended up with this striped dress - I thought the stripes and general shape would make me look huge but it's lovely over black leggings and I feel great in it but I need boots to wear it with. I guess they need to be black and I'd like mid-calf or longer. Can anyone suggest a pair that would look good with that dress and also with this I bought to wear over leggings for going out.

Sorry for all the questions - I'm very excited .

Hi, nice to get an update!

Really like evrything except the first dress - sorry - the pattern and colours are just not appealing to me. Love the other stuff though, particularly the two knee length skirts (may treat myself to the poppy one - gorgeous)

Im a 16 apple by the way and would really suggest a pair of Gap real Straight Jeans or Boden Straightleg jeans. I cant live without mine and they are very flattering and handy. I'd also suggest getting a nice smart piece of knitwear to wear with jeans or your skirts which will really help you get much more wear out if it all.

FOr boots I'd go for something like this then you can wear them with both your dresses and with your jeans tucked in for a casual look too.

Thanks Gillybobs, I hated that dress on the hanger but the style/shape is lovely on me. It fits everywhere which is a first and I'm not sure whether that has convinced me to buy it despite the colour/pattern. The long skirt is the same - not my usual style but a very flattering shape. Or maybe I do like both patterns and I'm nervous about ditching my usual black .

I'm glad you like the poppy skirt - could I get away with wearing tights and boots with that until we get some sun or is it too summery?

I like those boots but after years of wearing trainers I was planning to look for flat/wedge boots or at least a sturdier looking heel until I get used to them. Even a small heel makes my feet ache just now.

Thanks for the jeans advice too, I think I'll pop to the designer outlet and try some Gap jeans.

Yes I'd def wear the poppy skirt with tights and boots! It's lovely.

Love the long skirt too, really nice colours and no need to worry about fake tan/shaving : )

There is a GAP 30% discount voucher on the go just now, works at the main stores and outlet too here it is

Ive bought a few lovely everyday tops from there recently this one and this too. Really inexpensive with the 30% discount and SO flattering, really skim over my ugly tummy.

I really want that poppy print skirt now, it's lovely! Have never tried a personal shopper but like the idea of someone encouraging me to try something different from what I normally wear, I am quite stuck in a rut too.

Thanks for the voucher Gillybob, I am def going to take myself off to Gap this evening and have a look at jeans and tops. You seem to be a similar shape to me although you are a bit smaller - what style of trousers do you go for. I have problems finding trousers that fit my waist and my tummy - usually they are too tight over my stomach and look really unflattering or fit there but swamp me everywhere else and look shapeless plus slide down a bit. The personal shopper wasn't any help with trousers - she kept bringing styles like this which looked awful.

I have a real shopping bug after my personal shopper session. This is not going to be good for my credit card .

I think those trousers she brought are very "now" but agre probably not most flattering on an apple shappe : (

I wear straight leg jeans like these I find them much more comfy than skinnies, more forgiving too! I do need to wear a belt with all my jeans tho as my hiips are small in realtion to my waist so tthey would fal down otherwise. I have a couople of skinny belts, one leopard print and one blaack patent, which I wear all the time.

For trousers for work I wear wide leg trousers,like this choosing quite a long length and wearing with heeled shoes (wedges are good for comfort)

FOr casual you could get some wide leg linen mix trousers like these, I buy a couple of pairs of these from Next every summer as they are dirt cheap but very handy. I wear them with nice sandals or even lace up pumps in the summer. Very handy to wear with a vest top/cardi combo