lost touch with being "ME"

[Dozeyland]

Hey,

I am a very happy Mummy to my 16 week old daughter. She's such a delight and my partner and I are so happy.

My only thing is where i am 110% dedicated to being a Mummy, its as if i've lost sight of being "ME".......

1. not feeling sexy (even though i didnt really put on weight thank goodness)

1. Feeling like i have no "Me time"

1. or more importantly Special time with my partner

1. I don't feel right DTD at the mo, we have done it a few times but one: its still uncomfortable. and two: its as if i've forgotten! and also i feel odd DTD with DD now being here... silly i know.

I just feel like i've lost contact with myself, im so confident in my role as mummy, but my role as girlfriend and just me not so much..... i've even lost my sense of style. clothing etc.

sorry for rant

I think that you are dong well that you are even aware of this having given birth just 16 months ago so I wouldn´t put too much pressure on myself. Do you have a babysitter or family help that you can make the most of it? I really regret trying to do everything by myself and forgetting myself as an individual for so long.

Sorry I have just read my post, I meant 16 weeks ago. I need to figure out how to edit.

Go easy on yourself - Having a baby is a life changing experience and you need to give yourself time to adjust. Don't put too much pressure upon yourself.

Few points to think about that might help:

Set aside some 'you' time - maybe just half an hour or so for a nice bubble bath or paint your nails or read a magazine or watch a programme you like.

sort through your clothes if you are back to pre-pregnancy weight. Treat yourself to something new. Think about investing in some new underwear.

Treat yourself to some new accessories (scarves, beads, bag or shoes) if you are still losing weight.

Do you feel comfortable leaving DD? If so, you and DP could go out for a nice meal or to the cinema.

Good luck!

Dozeyland - being a mum does change you and tbh I don't think the before baby "you" will ever come back not in a "life will never be the same again boo hoo sot of way" it does change but in a "this is now the new me sort of way" ifswim,embrace the new you don't hanker after the young free and single you - you dp will also change over the coming months/years your priorities change too, this advice was given to me a few years ago and I havn't forgotten it. good luck with everythiing - enjoy what you have !! x

Stop calling yourself 'Mummy' and referring to shagging as DTD and you might feel better.

DP and i have had about 2 occasions where we left DD and had time to ourselves. I don't like leaving her a lot at this time, i enjoy her too much! and EBF (currently 2-3hourly) its hard to leave her, i can express but it takes too long at the mo and also i love the BF bond. i havent really needed anyone to have her yet. but in regards to time alone with DP we try to when she's asleep or happy entertaining herself.

bottom line is: i just don't feel sexy. I hate my clothes, my skin is horrid at the mo. i think my body is good enough after having a baby (lighter than i was before preg but want to tone a bit.) its just finding my style and confidence again>?

I think you should both just enjoy this time. You're still you. You don't have to be all things to all men (women) at once. You ARE a Mummy. She won't be a tiny baby forever and it's such a special time.

Your body? It's only 4 months post - partum!! You don't have to be photographed for Hello or Grazia do you? These celebrities who have a baby and then lose all their baby weight in 8 weeks are the exception, not the rule and they probably have a personal trainer and nanny on the payroll!

I think you'll find your husband thinks you're sexy as you are. Give it all time.