..Please can someone give me some vague clue of how I can look devastatingly sharp and on-trend while being mid-thirties and carrying a few extra pounds kilos?
See, the thing is I used to be vaguely cool when I worked in London and hung out with the groovy types. Then I moved away, had DS, got a bit podgy and forgot how to dress 
So I've got two weeks to find an outfit. I'm a 14/16, 5'7", pale, dark hair, decent knockers, the remains of a good waist, but with giant arse and legs like a pit pony. I look quite young for my age.. Gulp.
It's smart-ish casual. I've got about £200, but would obv prefer to spend less so more can go on Dutch Courage 