How can I look more my age?

[LargeGlassofVino]

I am 31 but look at least 10 years younger, if not more, and I hate it. I recently got ID'd in the supermarket while buying wine, with my DS in the trolley, and it's really got me thinking how I can change my look. People assume that I am a teenage mum, and while I laugh it off I actually get upset about it as I feel that people don't take me seriously or they're patronising towards me.

I don't work any more so, since having my son, my wardrobe has become limited to jeans and jumpers/t-shirts and trainers. When I was working I always had to dress smart, which I loved, but now I just feel like a student. Seeing as how I'm running after my toddler all day, I feel stuck about wearing anything different though. I'm a size 8-10 btw.

So, I've been reading some of the posts on here and think that if anyone can help me, you guys can. Here's hoping.

Embrace your 10 years younger,please!You will look back in 10 years and think wtf did I post that!

What's your hair like? Tied back in a ponytail? I think shorter hair might age you, maybe a bob with a side fringe and a few lowlights/ highlights?

Jeans are fine - perhaps with long boots and a fitted top/ shirt?

What about dresses with tights and boots?

I think you're after a more sophisticated look, so looks through magazines, find styles you like and emulate them.

Am extremely and tempted to make smart alec comments galore; but I can see how being patronised would be exceedingly annoying.

Perhaps if you went further down the Boden/tea dress route? Or wore drapey tops as the silhouette is a bit more sophisticated and therefore a bit older than an ordinary T-shirt?

I'd also go for boots (either with your tea dress or with jeans) rather than trainers.

Also what do you do with your hair? Perhaps something sharper/higher maintenance would be less suggestive of studenthood?

But in all honesty I would try to enjoy it. I know that I look back at photos of myself 10 years ago and rue the fact that I never appreciated my skin/shape etc and I will never get it back.

MavisEnderby only someone who has not been talked to like they're a child their whole adulthood would say that!

hugebelly my hair is shoulder-length and layered with sweeping fringe. It used to be a bob but as it's very fine hair it didn't do much for me. I rarely wear in a pony as I then really do look about 12 LOL.

Dresses I'm avoiding as still breastfeeding, and he's guaranteed to want some when we're out.

Which magazines would you recommend?

Largeglass,elucidate?sorry if was being crap:(

Largevino I wore dresses the whole way through breastfeeding. Just whipped a boob out of the top of the neckline and covered with a muslin/cardigan etc. It is possible to do it discreetly.

Sorry Mavis, just reread and that sounded snappy of me. Um, I think this probably bothers me more than I realised. My mum is especially bad for this and always keeps me in my place by saying I look like a 'little girl'. She's always been super-critical of me and my look is an easy target I suppose. Tired of it.
Oh and I'd like to open the front door and not be asked if my mum is at home .

TheAllNewOoooh Good point I guess if I found a stretchy dress, otherwise won't it ruin it?

I also get told that I look young for my age (I'm 32) - soo much so that I tell people I'm younger than I am as can't be bothered with the normal "you look soo young". I agree its very annoying.

I never wear trainers (unless undertaking sporting activity)....and I always make an effort to dress up slightly. I don't mind being overdressed.

Tend to wear skinny jeans with different boots (riding boots, biker boots, high shoe boots), lots of dresses (sometimes with long sleeved t-shirts underneath if particularly chilly). I also have a couple of waterfall cardigans which apparently are a little middle-aged (according to recent thread!) I tend to accessorise wearing beads and scarves

I definitely steer clear of t-shirts with logos or graphic prints, hoody jumpers, baby pink or Easter type cute colours.

Sounds like you get upset about it more than me - I just think of Kylie et al who are 40+ but still look amazing and can wear all the latest trends & fashions.

HTH

Missed your more recent post - have you asked your Mum to give the "little girl" comments a rest. Maybe she doesn't realise that you find it upsetting??

seriously,embrace your youthful looks!Am nearly 40 and feeling old and tired tonight:)Sounds like a smiths song!seriously ignore these people bet you are gorgeous.Live life to the full you only have one life,and i say that from the bottom of my heart,especially tonight but its a whole new thread

Yes, jersey dresses are the way forward and there are plenty about. I used to go round the shops tugging at necklines to see how much give they had in them.

First I empathise - I don't get taken seriously at work until I tell people I have an 18 year old - you should see the shock on their faces! One woman had to sit down - she thought I was 'about 26' and has actually been more respectful and on my level ever since.

I guarentee that you will be pleased at some point, I quite like it now I am older, especially as my DH is younger than me. My mum looks about 45 and her mum looked about 20 years younger than she was, so for us it's genetic; I am also 5'2, so this adds to it.

As for clothing ideas, have a look at this lovely blog. She always looks so cool and even though she combines high street with designer, her look is actually quite simple and could easily be replicated from H&M/Zara/New Look etc.

I got ID'd recently too and it was very embarassing - I think a lot of it is about how well you conform to people's age expectations so IME wearing more make-up and looking more groomed ages you as people assume that is more how older women style themselves

I too was pleased when lady in PO thought I was too young for my dd to drive. Don't think I look 47 ,,, Will certainly never get IDd.

If you want to change your style and look a little more sophisticated, then that's fine. But don't do it to shut up your mother. Bbecause it won't.she sounds like the kind of person who likes putting you down and she, ll go on doing it for the rest of your life, if let her. She is not criticizing you because of how you dress, it's about her own issues and inadequacies. You changing your style won't alter the kind of person she is

How about ditching the T shirts in favour of more sophisticated tops? Also, don't know what sort of bag you usually carry, but something more business like usually says 30s. Trainers are a dead give away too, but they're so comfortable when you're out and about with a baby...

But I agree with KristinaM about the comments from your mum.

You really should appreciate looking so lovely and young while you can. The long southward slide will be upon you soon enough, and it will make your day to be ID-d.

All my life I have been told I looked younger than I actually was I only felt really indignant when asked for id but honestly it is a bonus that you will really appreciate more as you age. Now i am 42 and people don't say it as much
I would say where classic clothes and not be a fashion victim if you really do want to look older and have shorter hair perhaps ?

i can kind of empathise, but then again not. i seem to have some weird disorder where people either assume i'm 18 or 45, depending on, i don't know what... the position of the moon? Solar flares? god knows. its a bit disorientating really. Recently i'm getting more of the latter age guesses and i haven't slept properly since dd2 was born a year ago so you could try that?!

Sorry 'wear' really need to check what I write !

i'm actually 29 btw.

Could your finances handle more expensive clothing and accessories? Something from Whistles will make you look more sophisticated than something from Topshop.

I'm 29 and could pass for 19.

Embrace it. Look at the number of celebrities who have goo injected into their faces to look younger.

I accept it now. So I look like a teenage mum, who cares?

I recently went through a small image shift and had my bright pink hair stripped out and dyed a dark blonde, I wear my glasses all of the time now and have recently discovered the joys of tights and given up my stripey knee socks (at least in public).

Just thought of another idea if you are small like me .I have recently discovered Fly wedge heel boots you have the height but they are very comfortable with it. I feel much better with the extra inches

I 'suffer' from this too. 5ft 2 and very slender. I've always looked younger than I am. I'm now 35, and having moved back to where I grew up got ID'd buying cigarettes last year. I told her she'd made my day then told her I used to buy my sweets off her when I was six. Then she remembered who I was and couldn't believe i was really 35.
The other posters have made some good suggestions. I can't help I'm afraid as I've always been a little 'off the wall' with my appearance and I stick with it. It did take me a few years though to develop a thick skin about it. You need to work on how you react to this, and learn not to let it bother you so much - but if you feel your outward appearance is a stumbling block then it's a good place to start and you will start to feel more comfortable with your youthful looks.

(as an aside the being ID'd thing has happened more since most shops now have Challenge 25. Having worked in an off licence myself it's quite difficult sometimes to work out if someone is just over 25 or not. It may be that if you 'look' 28 they err on the side of caution. that's what happened with me. Being ID'd used to annoy the hell out of me. Realising that the staff member gets walloped with a hefty fine if they serve underage helped me get over it!)