Please help - I've no idea how to look groomed and I feel a bit crap about it.

[JaneS]

Hi everyone.

You will be pleased with me as I've been good and bought a Babyliss Big Hair after reading the very long thread about it. But, please tell me how to look swishy-haired and groomed in general?

I am feeling a bit useless. I love clothes and think I wear quite nice stuff, but the grooming lets me down. I didn't wear makeup until I was in my 20s (I'm 26), and even now unless it is mascara/ a bit of eyeshadow it is usually for the purposes of covering up (not always successfully). My skin's not bad but it's not great; I've never know what to do with it as it reacts to most things and scars if I use a product that is really bad.

I read the Babyliss thread so I know this is what you wise people think we should all have. But in my experience a hairdryer is what I point at my head to make me not catch cold when I go outside. I use John Frieda curl spray and finishing creme, but you mention products you use before drying your hair - how, and what? And what is this 'separating sections' you speak of?

You see how ignorant I am.

What would you recommend for a novice who wants to look groomed and smart? I'd love to look nicely made-up with good hair and nails. My hair is usually falling in strands out of my ponytail. I've never learned how to put it up in a good do and one hairdresser told me it's too fine and there's too much of it, so pins won't hold it. I'm not too clear on what makeup I need or how to apply it (trial and error won the day there), and I certainly don't know what other things take you from scatty to groomed.

Any and all tips, gratefully received!

Look on YouTube for video guides to doing hair and make up. Tap into the search bar 'babyliss big hair' or 'blow dry hair' or 'natural make up'.

Thanks ruddy! How will I know which are good guides for makeup though? I've looked at some and the person doing it ended up with horrible heavy beauty-counter makeup, which isn't my aim at all!

I'm sure I could straighten my hair too - hairdressers always want to show me how - but imo I look like Morticia Addams with straight hair so I'm going for a more normal look, if you see what I mean.

Thanks Seven.

I do usually get a cut that's easy to wear - but sometimes I get tired of looking slightly boho (which, with my not-curly-not-straight hair, is how I do inevitably look).

I'll certainly give Neal's Yard a try - sounds good! I've only recently had the cash to bear mistakes, so previously I'd either go for very cheap or (perhaps wrongly) very expensive - I thought expensive might mean good. For skincare/foundation, it doesn't seem to!

How do you do the curled/separated thing with mascara? I just wipe the brush from the upper lid upwards then blot off the excess that makes it look clumpy. Is there a clever solution there?

EYEBROWS are it think the number 2 (after hair) most important thing for a well groomed look. It is so important to keep them in shape, i also think darkening them and extending them with pencil make the most enormous difference.

Or even better use an at home dye kit for lashes and brows. If i do this and apply fake tan i don't need to wear makeup in the day!

Id agree an easy to look after haircut is essential, ask someone who's hair you really admire who cuts theirs, and go along for a consultation.

Light make up is easy to master, honestly! A sheer/medium foundation applied with a light touch (try Revlon Photo Ready or Bourjois 8 hr Sleep effect), a pinkish or apricot cream blusher (try no 7 or max factor), a good mascara (I'd recommend L'Oreal Telescopic, makes them nice and long with no clumps) and a lip gloss to finish off.

A natural nail polish on short-ish nails is easiest to maintain

best, thanks, can I ask for more detail here? I have dark hair and olive skin, and would look absurd with thin little arcs. I do pluck mine a little where they get unruly, but is there a way of doing it more tidily/elegantly that wouldn't involve someone plucking me down to pencil-lines that'd look stupid?

What is the extending thing, btw?

Fake tan, also, not a good idea here I think. My skin is tanned looking now in January! What is more annoying is that my skin has a natural yellow/green undertone (how attractive that does not sound!), and so I've never found lipstick that works, and often find foundation is too pinky/pale for me.

L'oreal make up counters group some of their make up into skin tone groups, you might find that helpful in choosing colours?

Gilly - sorry, didn't see your post as I was typing in reply to the last one.

The problem with the hair is, I love it when they've dried it properly for me. And it looks ok when I let it dry naturally - but it doesn't look groomed or sleek and it did when I was in the hairdressers. This has been the same for many different hairdressers so I conclude I'm doing something wrong.

Again ... I'm really a novice ... where do you apply foundation/blusher? I put foundation/concealer over my eyes when I'm tired and on the mispigmented or scarred bits. But if I put too much on, or if I put it everywhere, it looks like a mask. I have some blusher (it's not apricot, it's pinky-red, but apricot on my skin would not really show up, I think).

I usually wear clear nail varnish and can manage that, but never got the other shades to look good - is it essential?

Eyebrow shape and tint make a world of difference.

I'm a recent convert to Bare Escentuals mineral makeup. Great coverage but very natural looking.

Babyliss Big Hair is fantastic. Section hair with butterfly clips. Start drying from the nape of your neck, and then let the next section down until you're at the top of your head. I don't use any product, and my hair is always shiny and soft.

You sound like you have very similar coloring to me and would totally pull off thick dark eyebrows, very on trend at the moment. So don't go crazy on the plucking, if you take a pencil and hold it against the outer edge of your nose (were the nostril ends, making any sense?) and hold it totally vertically where the pencil crosses you eyebrow will give you the point at which the eye brow starts, looking straight ahead still holding the pencil vertically placing it were you see the outer edge of your pupil this will give you the arch, then use the end of the mouth on the same side as the eyebrow to find the finishing point. Line the pencil up from the mouth so that i touches the side of the nose (diagonally) then were it meats your eyebrow is the point at which it should end.

At home dye is fantastic and i use black sounds like this would look fab on you. Basically permanent mascara and great for eyebrows.

I extend my eyebrows with a wax and finishing powder, Benefit do a fab one.

As for fake tan i use it just to cover blemishes, also just read something about orange skin tone being attractive, the suggestion was to eat carrots but i think fake tan might be easier.

Thanks best - I think that is what my eyebrows do anyway? Or should they not?

What am I aiming for with the dye, btw? My eyebrows are very dark brown - surely if I dye them any darker they will look odd?!

I like the idea that fake tan would cover blemishes - never realized that but it makes good sense!

Hi Little, try the Avene range (available in Boots), it's formulated for sensitive skin and has been brilliant on mine.
I have hair like yours - I try and get a good cut, but it never stays in a style (I do think messy hair can look quite good as long as it's clean!). I dry it using a big round brush, sort of flicking it up, and don't use any products except for a tiny bit of spray.
My make up is pretty simple for every day - under eye concealer (from Mac, the assistants are good for advice generally), a bit of powder to get rid of shine, sheer lipstick/gloss, and mascara (I wipe the wand on a tissue before applying to get rid of excess - probably waste loads, but avoid the clump factor).
I shape my nails once a week, would like to say I finish with a bit of clear varnish bit, don't normally have the time to do that.
I agree with Seven - nice scarves, jewelry, etc, always look good.

Um well my eyebrows and lashes are now black i think it looks great (if not a little Jordan ) and i get compliment on them big time. And like i said there is virtually no need for day time make up bar a bit of bronzer maybe.

Thanks ash! I've not tried Avene yet (must be one of the only ones I've not tried!).

Er ... just to be thick again, but when you say you use a round brush, do you mean you brush it while you dry it? You pull the brush through your hair like normal, and point the drier at it? Because when I've done that my hair looks very limp and odd!

I feel like such an idiot! FWIW, when I lived at home I was stopped by my mum and questioned if my lips looked too red (never from makeup - from cold wind or similar) - so I didn't really learn about this stuff.

best - ah, I see, they're meant to be darker than your natural hair then? That makes sense - I'm asking daft questions here, not judging!

I'd go and get your eyebrows professionally threaded for a start.

Your colouring would work well with the chanel foundations - there's a new aqua one which is lighter.

Bobbi Brown very good for natural make-up - they'll show you how to do it and you can buy some of their products or similar from cheaper brands.

I don't have the big hair thing so can't help there I'm afraid.

But you're young and have gorgeous colouring and I prefer slightly un-done hair.

No don't be silly i didn't think you were, i just happen to have an unhealthy obsession with eyebrows and maybe get a little to enthused!

Sounds like you have great colouring so go with it, brozer etc.

Also bronzer should be applied in a shallow 3 shape on each side, staring on the forehead coming in at the cheekbone and again at the jaw line.

Yes, I dry my hair until it's about 70% dry and then twist sections round the brush and aim the hair dryer at it (a primitive form of Big Hair I wonder!). My hair is in layers and has a bit of natural wave,so maybe that helps it to "flick".
Don't feel daft for asking questions, I reckon that's what Style and Beauty is here for! Enjoy using some new products and doing something different with your hair!

Thanks tracey - you're very kind (I am young, but with messy dark hair and yellow skin! ). If I get my hair threaded, how do I make sure they stop in time? I know eyebrows don't grow back, so it does worry me - I like my brows quite thick and I'd hate to see them turned into those old-lady arches some people have, you know?

best - oh dear, I wasn't being silly, I was being honest! If I should dye them to look good I would be happy to try. I really feel like such a mess I just don't know what to do.

With bronzer - how do you make it blend in so it doesn't look odd to someone seeing you from the side? I always worry about that with blusher.

Thanks ash.

Top down:

Hair - well cut, good blow dry. Do you blow dry your hair so the cuticles lie flat (pointing 'the blow dryer from root to tip)? A good round brush makes a difference too. Hairspray (not claggy, flexi-hold) is your friend!

Eyebrows - shaped but defined, either with pencil or shadow

Skin - well exfoliated and moisturised provides the best canvas for a very light foundation. It does take experimentation to find a good one and it depends what you need it for. I have 3 depending on whether I need it to stay put all day, light coverage or a serious base for evening make up. Also a good concealer! Healthy glow either from blusher or bronzer (depending on skin tones).

Eyes - mascara is essential. Dark brown or black for preference. Invest in a comb to achieve a separated look. Under-eye shadows need to be covered!

Lips - gloss or balm. Always.

Accessories - good quality. Depends on your personal style but typically less is more, never nothing. If you wear glasses/a watch - something that's there everyday they need to be good quality and go together.

Nails - well moisturised hands and feet, well shaped nails. Keep a nail file in your bag at all times. I personally prefer buffed nails to polished (less chance of scratches or chips) but clear or a light polish is usually safe.

Clothes - doesn't matter what you wear as long as they're in good nick, stain free and not crumpled.

Shoes/bags - not scuffed, not down at the heel etc.

Wear perfume too and have good posture. Grooming is an impression on another person, not just a reflection in the mirror.

I honestly think the best way to learn makeup is to do it. Lots. You'll learn what's not enough, what's too much, what perks you up when you look knackered and the best way to apply products (invest in a foundation brush!). Take time to pamper yourself, go round the different makeup counters, even if you end up looking like a fright you might pick up a good tips or a good product. If you're anywhere near Birmingham I can recommend several good make up counters at Selfridges and House of Fraser.

It does take time and you need to get into a state of mind.

LRD - I get mine threaded in Harvey Nichols at the blink bar and its always Asian ladies and they're eyebrowns always look amazing - definitely not thin arches.

The brush should do that for you, especially if you give it a gentle tap before applying it so it isn't overloaded with powder. Make sure you put a little under you jaw and the the of you neck so it blends and you don't get tide marks. And i ment dont be silly i dint think you were judging