Just moved to Paris - feel frumpy and fat

[bluehaze]

Help! We have moved to Paris. I have never had a sense of style and can never 'put clothes together'. Along with feeling out of place, lonely and alien, I also feel awful when I go out. The shops are intimidating, I dont want to try anything on as I know it will be too small and I am about 3 sizes bigger than most of the clothes in the shops.
Today I got myself 'in hand', dressed up and went to buy boots - couldnt squeeze anything over my enormous calves and came back with nothing. Now I feel like life would be easier if I never left the house.

Does anyone have any advice on what to buy to make a couple of outfits, and how to get confidence to go in the shoe shops???

Shop assistants in France will help you "put things together".

They are used to people buying "outfits" rather than just A skirt or a pair of trousers etc.

Go into a shop and put yourself in their hands and see what they come back with.

I have often tried on something and then asked the assistant to go and find me a top to go with it and they are delighted to.

Also you will notice that most of the racks are arranged in complementary colours.

Try somewhere like Printemps where you can try on things from different shops but stay in one changing room iyswim.

What size are you?

Hi jamaisjedors
I am not confident enough to ask for help like that. I tend to skulk around a shop and hope that the assistants dont actually notice me.
I am size 16 to 18 depending. My sister is the same size as me and loves shopping but I feel demoralised by it.

I am getting haircut tomorrow - if I feel really swishy I will bite the bullet and go to Printemps.
thanks for your advice

You don't need to ask for help, if you try something on they will come over and hassle help you after a couple of minutes anyway.

I found shopping here excruciating initially because of that but now I have realised it's actually quite helpful.

YOu need to say NO too, which is a bit harder!

I know what you mean blue haze. I used to have to get the metro through paris about 3 times a year while travelling home, and used to feel so ick and unglamorous beside the french ladies...grabbing the pole on the metro and the woman beside me would have a perfect manicure and i'd have dirty travelling nails! I find if i'm in a hurry, best thing to look good quickly, is black tights, simple colourful shift dress, boots and jacket or black cardigan. And a bit of red lipstick and a smile! Jamais is right about the shop assistants, they are very helpful. Failing that, if something isn't in your size, and i can sympathise with this too, my shoulders are ridiculously broad and i find it really grape to get stuff to fit me in france, you can always find something similar on the interweb. Oh did i mention, i am very jealous of you, living in paris! Wait until summer, and you'll love it!

I feel your pain! I spent some time in Paris as a student many years ago and always felt so frumpy!

As a student, my on-a-tight-budget solution was to stick to black tops/dresses, tie a jaunty scarf around my neck and then try to ooze as much confidence as I could muster.

That way, it doesn't much matter if black doesn't suit you, because the scarf is what's closest to your face and you can have those in whatever colours you like. If you can afford a Hermes scarf, that will make you feel even more confident.

Good luck!

Thanks ladies you all make it sound easy. I am focussing on not stressing about it and for tomorrow (hairdressers) I have just fished out tights, wrap dress and long cardi. all in black though so desperately looking for the lipstick!!! Still stuck about the boots - will have to put kids to bed and have a trying on session - something I havent done for seems like an age.

Bustleinyourhedgerow- so far I am wowed by Paris itself - so beautiful and it really is an exciting place to be.

mum295 - am borrowing daughter's scarf - to try and look less 'like I am going to a funeral in all my black'!! She has a fab sense of style - so glad she didnt get my set of fashion genes!

I wouldn't dare offer style and beauty advice but if you are feeling lonely in Paris, you could post in Living Overseas. There are lots of mumsnetters in Paris.

I am Porky and live in Paris if you want to go shopping? You will probably feel positively slender next to me! It's quite difficult if you are over a size 12, I think, although Chanel go up to US size 20!

Duoboots deliver to France - the French tend to have little twiggy legs that often look as if they barely support them.

Well - I live in Paris and on returning to London I find they are better dressed and more creative so I wouldn't feel at all frumpy in Paris - I think the french myth is exactly that! They are as scruffy as anywhere else with one or two exceptions and they all seem to wear black!! I do understand the sizing problem - I'm a standard UK 12 with shoulders and have enormous difficulties finding fitting french sizes. I have to get most of my basics at Esprit (German or originally American).

MrsSchadenfreude Chanel? Blimey missus - your budget must be loads bigger than mine

Very envious of you living in Paris! Enjoy the hairdressers - whenever I've had mine done in Paris have loved it. On boots, you could try Geox, who have a few shops in central paris (one in Rue de Rennes). An Italian company - I've bought nice boots there in past and my calves are not twiggy.

I recently bought an item of clothing in the UK and was tickled to see that the label gave sizes for different countries as follows:

UK - medium
USA - medium
Germany - medium
France - large

That's about the size of it (if you'll pardon the pun!)

bluehaze - all the women I know who come to live in Paris glam up very fast indeed - just wait a few months and you will be transformed

Good for you on making an appointment at the hairdressers. I was in Le Bon Marché today and there is still masses of lovely stuff on sale at -30%, -40% and sometimes even -50%.

If you are a bit bigger than standard French sizes, try Italian brands, which are cut much more generously and will in all likelihood be more flattering.

If you are feeling really brave, I don't mind coming along shopping with you and giving you some advice - send me a private message if you feel up for it!

Oh please please please take up bonsoir s offer as I want to know if she is really a hairy trucker

Do they have "personal shoppers" in Paris? It sounds like you would be the perfect client, and it could really help boost your confidence.

I cannot believe how one session on MN can be so life changing!! I have a (for me) radical haircut which I like a lot, and last night I ordered a new pair of boots from duoboots - thanks Mrs Schadenfreude! On top of that I have spent this morning ignoring all the house stuff and have sorted my clothes into sets of 'outfits' that I can grab in the morning. Made myself a 'dressing table' out of the packing boxes - and actually found lipstick, and scarves that I havent used for ever.
If I can keep the good work up then I will definitely be taking up Bonsoir's offer!!!

Plan for next week is to write out what I need to buy (I dont possess a single skirt)and to get myself to those sales.

If I can make it I will post a lunch spot and anyone who is free could meet??? (Dont know if that is against forum rules though>

thanks ladies!!!

Well done

Have you got a dressing (walk-in wardrobe) in your Paris apartment, to put your newly sorted clothes into?

Always up for maxing out other people's credit cards - let me know when you want to go shopping! And if you want beauty products, let me know in advance and we can go to one of my DP's shop and get a discount

Wow - Bonsoir - what does your partner do?

He runs a chain of shops that sells cosmetics and beauty products

Bonsoir

Though at this stage in my life a dermatologist with a good Botox needle would be more useful

OP, I lived in Paris when I was much younger. I had difficulty finding clothes that fit due to being tall with hips and big feet. Shoes were never big enough. Sleeves and trousers always too short. I was pretty slim but just much bigger than the French.

I had a very small budget at the time and tended to shop at the big dept stores where they had Mexx, Esprit, French Connection and other non-French brands. Also Gap and H&M. For shoes I used to wait until I was back in England :(

I never used a personal shopper but I did people-watch constantly (and still do) and I just copied the things I liked on other people!

Although I never felt as chic as French women, I tried to take the best of French chic (immaculate grooming, good use of accessories, good haircut) and combine it with my own "English" style (arguably less conservative). I like to think I still dress with a certain Parisian influence (friends say I am elegant) but I definitely don't wear as much black as I did back in Paris.

Enjoy Paris! Amazing city!

My boots are arriving tomorrow - can't wait!! I hope they fit ... I havent had a chance to get back on to MN - family crisis - but wanted to say I am very grateful to all and will definitely definitely take up some of those very cool offers. Schadenfreude I cant email you back as I can't apparently log on to the server. Only a few more days/weeks till the computer man finds our house... meanwhile have begged a bit of computer time from neighbours.
PS they are French, I am wearing lipstick, they dont seem to mind the pyjamas and dressing gown!!