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Style and beauty

Looking for style advice? Chat all about it here. For the latest discounts on fashion and beauty, sign up for Mumsnet Moneysaver emails.

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Original poster

How do you know how you really look?

47 replies

Smileypeeple · 03/12/2010 23:00

OK, I'm no oil painting but I've always worked hard with what I have and thought I looked alright, ok maybe even occasionally pretty good.

I've now turned 40 had a short hair cut and am having crisis.

I feel like vie lost 'it' like I'm now a bit bleh and past it. Mum and dh saying all the right things, so I dontnknow if it's me worrying or if somethuings changed.

How do you ever really know??

OP posts:

Original poster

Smileypeeple · 04/12/2010 00:10

I was insecure at 19 and am insecure now at 40, how do you achieve the elusive feeling good?

OP posts:

judasisacarrot · 04/12/2010 00:13

im normally queengigantaur/gigantaur/Mamazon
was judas as a joke earlier but its growing on me

if it helps then i think you are obviously someone who takes a lot of pride in her appearance and who looks after herself. that alone makes you stand out from the crowd.
you will look glamorous and well groomed amongst a sea of primark wearing greasy haired fatties.

but im nosey so wanna see

BluTac · 04/12/2010 00:16

I think realising that being thin and being young are in fashion at the moment, but haven't always been, and just realising how much bollocks it all is and how it really does not matter and you should just relax. Also living life and getting things in perspective. And just being fed up of being down on myself and realising that criticising myself never achieved anything apart from making me feel like shit, and not wanting to live my life like that anymore.
Why should I be thinking about how fat I am, when I could not be thinking about it? More time to have fun and enjoy stuff in my body as it is
Sorry did any of that make sense?!

Original poster

Smileypeeple · 04/12/2010 00:18

Hah! I thought you must be mamazon when you said giant haystacks but gorgeous!!!

You are indeed absolutely gorgeous I recall yourbprofile pics you are stunning.

I do try to take a pride but I know I'm no greatvshakes and just making the best of a bad job.

If I can be arsed tomorrow I'll take and post a pic and you can do your worst.

OP posts:

Original poster

Smileypeeple · 04/12/2010 00:20

It did blu, thanks, good advice Ill try to take it.

You sound sound.

OP posts:

judasisacarrot · 04/12/2010 00:21

if iot helps your self esteem i can tell you that i am 6'1. I weigh in excess of 20 stone and i wear a size 24, sometimes 26.
i have size 9/10 feet and generally i would be described as man sized.

but i also had the most amazing, flattering thread about how gorgeous i was.

now don't get me wrong i took this with a pinch of salt. but i do believe that it had little to do with my aesthetics and mroe to do with the fact that i dont really care, i am relatively confident in my own skin so i dont stand there hiding and shuffling into a corner.
I am told i radiate and infectious glow.
i dont, im just loud and laughing most of the time. so i get noticed for being happy and smiley which people find an attractive trait.

so stop worrying about whether you have it, had or lost it at some point. just enjoy being you and being alive. os being 40 is a whole heap better than being 90, and you'll get there soon enough and you will be praying for the days you were a young fit 40 year old

BluTac · 04/12/2010 00:22

You gotta work on it man, but it works

judasisacarrot · 04/12/2010 00:22

oops x post

Original poster

Smileypeeple · 04/12/2010 00:25

Nah judas you are just stunning, I saw you, but I know what you and blu mean, what people see is more than just how you look.

OP posts:

judasisacarrot · 04/12/2010 00:27

fivers in the post

dracschick · 04/12/2010 00:43

I saw a picture of you once, I think Judas ....and if im not mistaken your norks weigh 10 stone .

judasisacarrot · 04/12/2010 00:53

lololol.

I only wish that were my excuse

TheNextMrsDepp · 04/12/2010 00:59

I like the sound of botox to get rid of the vertical crease / angry frown! I have grown a fringe, to avoid scaring small children, it's cheaper.

It's true, I go through phases of thinking I'm pretty hot to thinking I look rough as a bear's arse. My looks haven't changed, just my confidence/attitude.

I just wish I had today's confidence (at 43) with the looks of 20 years ago.....

Jajas · 04/12/2010 09:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cyb · 04/12/2010 09:50

I would feel 100% happier about my looks if I could have a leetle bit of work done under my eyes.

yes I know that sounds stupid, vapid and shallow. but I would look sooo much fresher and less tired. I get that a lot 'Oh, you look really TIRED'

Jajas · 04/12/2010 10:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

40deniertights · 04/12/2010 11:14

I bet you don't need botox or work. Make up is the way to go. A tiny touch of foundation, enough blusher (makes a huge difference- pink is good for lots of people), mascara, bit of eyeliner and some lip balm or gloss. Takes 3 mins and is the best use of your time. Also, actually blow drying hair quickly rather than natural drying. These two things make the biggest difference to how I feel.

Cyb · 04/12/2010 13:09

There are just some things no manner of make up will help though

Original poster

Smileypeeple · 04/12/2010 13:16

I do all that every day 40denier, the whole styling hair and make up thing and I still think I don't loo barely passable.

Today though I decided to make a greater effort to try to drag me out of doldrums and spent a bit longer on my make up and in particular out on extra blusher and a bit of bronzer.

Ta da!!!!!!!!

I look fantastic, or at least passable.

I'd put the bronzer away thinking it's too much for the winter, and I think my pale and pasty face and has been bringing me down. Seems just the pink blush (benefit dandelion) is not enough. I need the bronzer snow outside or not.

Honestly I feel so much better.

So, my advice is, if in doubt add a a bit of bronzer.

Oh and have a bit of botox.

OP posts:

Chandon · 04/12/2010 13:56

Hi Judas,

I am 6ft1 also, and have a (too) laud laugh, which means there just is nowhere to hide for me, so being a shrinking violet is not an option.

Therefore, people always LOOK when I walk in somewhere, just because of my size, so I always make a little bit of an effort.

I think that if you are, like the OP, around 40, you have good days and bad days. Some days I think I look haggard and old, and other days I kid myself I look the same as 10 years ago.

It is strange that you never really know how you look, isn't it OP?! I always pull a certain "neutral face" in the mirror, but in real life I smile, frown, peer, raise one eyebrow quizzically etc etc.

I think that not knowing exactly how you look can be a blessing.

isitmidnightalready · 05/12/2010 01:54

I always find videos the most scary. When I see a rough photo of myself i can convince myself it is just a bad photo, but videos are really true and unavoidable. And the sound of my own voice in reality is the icing on the cake...

I think mumsnet is to blame as I now always log on "for half an hour" after the kids are in bed at 10pm. And here I still am at 1.53am. Bugger! No wonder I now have bags under my eyes...

PotPourri · 05/12/2010 01:59

I could gave written you op. No idea how you sort it out. I think it's a state of mind rather than botox though. Which is actually a harder solution...

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