Need some help I'm so out of touch..a bit long I'm afraid

[clutteredup]

I have recently lost just over 2 stone and am back down to a smallish size 12/big size 10. I have clothes which I never got round to throwing away which are essentially 2 pairs of jeans and work clothes. When I'm not at work I wear the two pairs of jeans with a variety of long sleeve t-shirts of varying bagginess and a nice sweatshirt my mum bought me from Joules.
My godmother recently gave me some cash to 'spend on myself', and with a huge amount of guilt I am planning on doing just so.
Trouble is, bar grabbing the odd pair of jeans or long t shirt in Asda when out shopping I have not been shopping for me for ...um...I cannot actually remember when and so I am completely clueless about well I know it sounds stupid but clothes. I have no style as such so I don't know where to start what would suit me and so on. I don't get much time to myself so mostly when in shops have only had a chance to have a quick look and have ended up looking at the kids clothes - I normally buy them from supermarkets too and so could quite easily blow the lot on the children who already have the most enormous amounts of fabulous handmedowns.
I know I sound totally pathetic but I really don't know where to start. Is there any point or shall I just hand the cheque over to DH to spend on stuff for our house?

Noooooo spend it on you! I command you!!!!!

I can't help you with what to buy but hope someone comes along soon.

DO NOT hand it over to DH or your DC. I will find out and hunt you down

There is every point, especially as this cash is meant just for you.

How tall are you and how old? Are you more of an inside or outdoors person?

Personal shopper at debenhams or john lewis? That's what I'd do if I had some money, I'm clueless too!

hellphire

And is it hundreds or thousands you've got to spend - that will make a quantity/quality difference.

How old are you?

How tall are you?

Whats your colouring?

Do you need going out clothes or strictly casual?

Well done on losing weight and lordy - do not hand over any money to your DH for house-stuff [shudder]

And what type of budget are we talking about?

You're a lovely size so dressing you will be a dream

No not thousands oh that sounds ungrateful . Its actually £500 which is so much, well for me I don't earn much and it all goes on home, stuff.
I'm 5ft5 (and a half!), 40 (aargh!), and spend half the time indoors doing boring stuff like cleaning (thus the grotty clothes) and the rest outside , live in countryside go for walks - not alot of city stuff , not shopping for instance!, but would like to have something to wear to London when we occasionally visit friends and on the rare occasion (about twicea year ) we go out in the evening.
Don't personal shoppers cost a lot - I'd be a bit scared I'd probably come away with a whole load of stuff I didn't really want to buy.

Some of that will go on anhaircut - haven't had it done for years. Current colour badly grown out dyed hair but hope to revert to original auburn brown colour. |Just a bit concerned if I have a complete change of appearance, it will all be a bit too much like a personality change and I'll shove it all back in the wardrobe and revert back to sloppy clothes.
Sorry I sound really pathetic, anyone else would have been off having a wild time at the shops by now.

Debenhams personal shoppers are very good if you're near a biggish store, ie one with lots of different concessions.

Think about the major things - new coat, boots, well-fitted jeans and take it from there.

No, you don't sound pathetic, shopping is a habit IMO, one that is easy to slip in and out of.

I know that if I had £500, I wouldn't be able to find anything, that is why a personal shopper is a good idea, they are familiar with a store's stock and how it works on different body shapes. You are not obliged to buy anything.

I second the suggestion for going to see a personal shopper at Debenhams - it's free and they make you a coffee so you can sit down and read a magazine whilst they look for clothes for you! And they don't pressure you to buy. I went to see one last year told her I wanted 2 casual outfits and 2 for work. The ones she picked out all go together so you can mix and match to get different outfits. She even picked out necklaces to go with the outfits!
Brilliant.

OK so not jeans from Asda , but where from then? And how much is reasonable? I'm not sure I'm quite ready for skinny jeans so what would you suggest in terms of style. I have some hipster kind of ones but I'm always having to hike them up and as I've lost weight I don't know if that's because I still have shrunk into them quite enough or if they are too big. I did say I was
pathetic.

A personal shopper does sound nice. I think my nearest department store is House of Fraser or Debenhams, John Lewis is just a bit too far probably, I suppose it depends on how much time it takes. I've always used the loos in House of Fraser and just skimmed by the clothes but they always look like they'd be for my mum rather than for me.

I think they give you 90 mins, which seems really long but the time just flies.

I'm roughly your height/weight, although a teensy bit older and I love skinnies. Need the right boots though.

Esprit do lovely jeans for my shape, but it really is a question of trying on 300 pairs then going back to the first shop....

HoF is a bit frumpy and a lot of their lines are pricey IMO.

Just looked on the Debenhams website it does look good. I've never shopped at dpartment stores, years ago when I used to shop it was more high street next and long ago Jigsaw but I'm gobsmacked at the prices. I'd love something from Hobbs but it would likely clear out my budget and I'm never likely to wear it.
I'd love to wear skinny jeans and boots but I'm not sure its me I've never really ever looked that cool.

Gap and topshop also offer styling.

Its a good idea to have a look around at whose style you like. That could be celebs or someone you see fairly often in real life.

If I were you I'd go for a good pair of indigo straight legged jeans - do think you need to try lots on to find the best style for you. You could buy gap or premium denim depending on how much you want to spend.

A nice jacket to dress up jeans - zara very good for black tux/blazer types which smarten up jeans and work well with dresses too.

I love a dress for going out - phase 8 have some good stuff in at the moment and reasonably priced.

Perhaps a jumper dress for daytime. Some nice tops/denim skirt . . .

I could go on and on but don't want to scare you. Netaporter is a brilliant website for inspiration and styling and then go and seek cheaper versions on the high street.

If I were starting from scratch I'd spend it on:

Indigo slim fit jeans (not skinny)
Black trouser
Jeggings for tucking into boots
Breton top
Lots of plain coloured tees
Knit dress
Longer length cardi
Blazer or smartish jacket
Go with anything boots possibly a brown long flat style
Heeled shoeboot to wear with dress/trouser/jeans

And would get a few cheapish statement necklaces to dress up the tops and a couple of belts - new look, primark and M&S have stuff at good prices.

I think you'd be best going Debenhams and getting an appointment with a stylist - they will do the work and you won't have the stress of it all. you don't need to spend all that money that day, but maybe have some ideas and trying on clothes they suggest, (that you might not have picked off the rails yourself) and you can always leave and order on line later if you're not 100% sure.

Then come back and tell us what it was like and link to all your gorgeous new clothes!

The first thing you need to do is get your hair well cut, and the second thing you need to do is go to a make-up counter and get a light day make-up look sorted. You need to fix yourself a budget for this because you could easily blow half your £500 on hair and make-up alone - whereas £100 should get you there if you are careful.

You need to get several weekend looks out of the remaining £400. I would think along the lines of:

• one Breton long-sleeved blue and white top (goes with everything and can be dressed up or down)
• one pretty fitted check shirt (ditto)
• a pretty blouse, maybe with a tie-neck
• slim fit cargo pants
• a pair of velvet cigarette pants
• a mini skirt
• a long chunky cardigan
• tights
• boots

Thanks there are some really good ideas on here and I didn't know personal shoppers were free. I guess most of my problem is lack of confidence I always feel so dowdy going into shops I feel like I don't fit but that's really something I need to get over. I'll definitely let you know how i get on but might take a few weeks to find soem time without DD2 to go, as she'd be complaining it was boring - she is three, she's not got the shopping gene either!

Thanks Bonsoir that sounds good too - not a makeup wearer either I hadn't even thought about that I am a real slop. I'm just not sure anyone including me will recognise me once I'm done!!

I would suggest starting along the lines of-

two pairs of jeans - one dark and slim leg cut for heels and one dark and slim leg cut for Converse-type things;

one denim skirt - either just above or just below the knee in a shape that suits you - the Hobbs sale had some cute slightly kick-pleated ones iirc, or you could get a denim pencil skirt or a classic just above the knee straight one (Gap or M&S usually good for these);

a cashmere or cashmere mix v neck jumper in grey or black (if these suit you) or another colour (if they don't) that can be worn with denim, or with other bottoms;

a black long sleeved t-shirt, a white one and a grey one with a neckline to suit you (eg for me, this would be scoop-neck);

a pair of brown knee high boots; a pair of coloured ballet shoes and a pair of grey or pewter leather Converse-alikes;

a soft day dress, just above the knee - either knitted if norks allow, or perhaps a cotton/viscose mix if they don't;

a blazer - grey often works better than black as it goes with more colours;

a top to dress up the jeans for evenings.

I must move in different circles to Bonsoir though because I don't know a single person under the age of 60 or so, who would contemplate wearing velvet cigarette pants.

I am also in the non velvet trouser wearing brigade however I must agree on the pretty blouse front. I have two near identical white tie neck blouses that are years old (one has tiny dots woven into fabric the other a fine self stripe) and they are extremely useful.

On the blazer front I've just purchased this for my teenage sister but kept it for myself as it's such a great fit, a lovely fabric and so inexpensive.