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Original poster

I want to buy my wife underwear

65 replies

fruitstick · 10/08/2010 21:17

It's our wedding anniversary next week and I would like to buy my wife underwear. I have no idea where to start. Can I buy online, I don't really want to go into a shop.

I know what bra size she is but have no idea where to start and how I manage to risk not getting it horribly wrong (too sensible vs too slutty).

She is always on here so I reckon you lot could give me a shove in the right direction.

OP posts:

nancydrewrocked · 11/08/2010 08:35

Underwear is a great gift provided you follow to basic rules:

i) You must get the size right even if that involves taking her knickers into a shop to compare.

ii) You must spend far far more than she would ever spend on underwear for herself. This for me means agent provocateur or la perla.

Under no circumstances can you get away with buying anything form the highstreet, it has to be sheer unadulterated luxury or nothing at all.

purplepeony · 11/08/2010 08:40

It's a lovely thought- but don't do it.
As others have said, it's not just a case of buying a bra in her "size"- bras are notoriously hard to fit and she really needs to try it on.

It is also linked to the slightly seedy "I want to see you in it now" scenario which means it's for your benefit as much as hers.

Why not give her a voucher for somewhere upmarket like Rigby and Peller if you live near their stores, or a good online site such as www.figleaves.com

topsi · 11/08/2010 08:42

You could go for a nighty/dressing gown combo which may be easier for sizes here
Expensive but would put a smile on my face!

topsi · 11/08/2010 08:44

Tiffany earings or necklace would so put a smile on my face!

sorky · 11/08/2010 08:46

For a wedding anniversary you need to go to MYLA.

If my Dh buys me underwear it is always from there.

The materials are exquisite, you can choose demure or provocative (it doesn't really do out n out slutty)

It's expensive, but she will feel amazing in it & I doubt she'll go back to cheap lingerie afterwards.

Be warned, it becomes a bit of an addiction

Threelittleducks · 11/08/2010 08:51

I used to work in a lingerie shop. If you know her size and style that she likes,or even have just an inkling then the ladies in the shop are well used to helping you get something nice.

You've seen what she wears so keep that in mind.
We used to serve guys all the time who were doing exactly the same thing. It was quick and easy and as long as you keep the tags on (don't worry, you obviously take the price off!!) they are easily returned for a different size if they don't fit. Also, if you buy in store you can usually go for the posh gift-wrapping.

I say go for it. There was always something very endearing about the men who were willing to walk into a shop and spend time buying lingerie. It showed how much they cared, in an area where most women usually think men don't notice.

FellatioNelson · 11/08/2010 08:56

Also, this might sound daft, but what stage of life is she at? For example, if she's at that fraught/tired stage with two toddlers and no time for herself, or make-up, etc, she may not see this as you wanting to spoil her because you still fancy her rotten - she may see it as a threatening gesture that she isn't sexy enough and that you think she has let herself go. It may make her feel pressurised to be something she's just not in the zone for at the moment. Does that make sense? We women are strange and complex creatures - very hard to please!

BeenBeta · 11/08/2010 08:56

fruitstick - you had me confused there.

You are using your DW's login.

Go with buying her nice nightclothes, dressing gown, etc. Dont do the underwear thing - its a minefield.

plantsitter · 11/08/2010 09:04

Fellationelson is right.

I am at this stage and it would annoy me. However usually I would really love nice underwear. Agree with nancydrewrocked's rules but would also add it must be silk.

If I were thin and DP were rich I would love something from Agent Provocateur or for something really naughty but classy and nicely wrapped, coco de mer. (look out - that link is quite um.. rude.)

sorky · 11/08/2010 09:05

I have to disagree. If my Dh bought me a nightdress or dressing gown I'd be sorely pissed off at him.

I want something to make me feel luscious all day and carry that on when I get home.

Plus, after 4 kids, it's very important to me that he still views me as a very sexual, desirable person.
A dressing gown does not do this imho.

FN makes a good point about her age, happiness with her bod etc

BeenBeta · 11/08/2010 10:31

sorky - I'm not talking terry towling bathrobe and winsiette nightie you know.

sorky · 11/08/2010 10:40

Hahahaha

Something more like [http://www.myla.com/sleepwear/spring-collection/angelica-chemise-pearl-grey this] then?

fecklesshusband · 11/08/2010 10:42

Yes I did use her login. Messed that up!

I think I've hidden this on her computer now. Will that work.

Nightwear is a good option.

We have 2 small children. I'm aiming for a 'i don't expect sex but still desire you as a sexual being and would like you to feel attractive' kind of gift. She complained that her friends husband was always buying her underwear and I never have.

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 11/08/2010 10:48

Fellatio has hit the nail on the head there.

I am at that stage - one toddler and pregnant. Sleep is at a premium and sex is low on the agenda at the moment! If DH bought me undies I would be devastated and would probably cry.

Diamonds on the other hand.....

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 11/08/2010 10:50

Oh x-posts.

Ok well if she has expressed a desire for it then that's a different matter.

I vote for a slinky robe (dressing gown, but robe sounds less 'quilted').

sorky · 11/08/2010 10:52

What's your budget?

fecklesshusband · 11/08/2010 10:58

Some of these a bit out of my budget. Probably about £70, especially as I should probably get her something else.

Can I be fairly certain that the figleaves website doesn't contain anything that would be considered offensive!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 11/08/2010 11:07

Fairly certain, although they do have things in quite eyewatering colours at times so choose with care!

Good luck

yousaidit · 13/08/2010 05:26

Feckless.. go for it, but maybe when you wrap it up pop in a little love note about how she's gorgeous and you've bought it not for you to expect to benefit but just coz she deserves t? then you don't get stressed mum biting your head off! (and brownie points for being nu man)

what about foxy sleepwear? Voile chiffon sort of stuff, like a see throughy vest / cami top and matching knickers, then you don't have to be spot on with size?

personally speaking, if dh did thid and wasn't sure f size i would be much flattered if he guessed my six=ze too small, rather than too big (oh, the wrong message a bigger size pickedd in error could send out! )

Graciescotland · 13/08/2010 06:53

Buying underwear can be tough unless you buy a different colour of something she already has and loves which is a little boring.

There are some lovely boutique type lingerie stores. My DH has taken me to one in Edinburgh www.boudiche.com/ before. They give great customer service, brought DH a big cup of tea and sat him down on a squashy sofa by changing area so he could help me choose. We both had a lovely time.

tingelingle · 13/08/2010 07:02

Hi, I would love underwear at any point in the present giving calendar. Go for muted colours - nudes, champagnes, greyish blues that kind of thing. Though check the colour of things she always owns. Maybe I'm a tart but I love a GOOD red pant too.

Boudiche is excellent and usually has stuff on sale on their website so you should manage on your budget. Plus I also second the Myla suggestion, which you can find on Figleaves. Search for 'figleaves discount codes' on google beforehand to help the budget again.

I love underwear! (DH sat next to me but doesn't seem to be looking, I may have to cough)

veryconfusedandupset · 13/08/2010 07:33

Is there something wrong with my marriage? I'm having a new Barbour jacket for my birthday! (and I'm excited about it)

tulpe · 13/08/2010 08:16

Check out the lingerie section on Outnet. They have some lovely Elle McPherson slinky bits on there for bargainous prices. I can vouch for the quality as have just treated myself........well, actually, DH's credit card just treated me :o

Link here . They also have lots of Myla, La Perla and other luxury brands.

Happy Shopping.

tulpe · 13/08/2010 08:17

okay, for some reason that link isn't working. But you can still find your way to the lingerie section from the "oops" message that comes up :o

oldenoughtowearpurple · 13/08/2010 08:26

As long as you are ABSOLUTELY SURE you are buying it because she wants it, and not as a covert present for yourself. I was always being bought sexy stuff by XDP and to be honest I hated it. Made me feel like a blow up doll, and fat and inadequate.

However, if she really really wants it, then take her along for a shopping trip, 'help' her choose and watch her try it on and take it off again. Much more bang for your buck (if you'll pardon the expression).

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