Help me to stop

[myheadisaterribleplace]

Hi everyone,
I am desperate to stop smoking, but I have little to no willpower. The more I think about not smoking, the more I smoke, and when I've tried cutting down to 2 or 3 a day, with the aid of a vape, I have the vape in my mouth constantly.
I have tried patches and chewing gum in the past, but nothing helps.
I convince myself that smoking calms me down so if I'm stressed or anxious I have a cigarette, if I'm hungry I have a cigarette instead of eating junk, if I feel sad I smoke, if something makes me happy I have a cigarette, if I am bored I smoke, if I'm tired I smoke etc etc etc
I want to give up to improve my health and my fitness and because smoking costs so much money but most importantly my DN is begging me to stop smoking, he hates it and it makes him so sad. I hate lying, but I have told him now that I have given up because I don't smoke around him, but I hate lying to him, and it makes me feel like such a bad person.
Please help me, throw as many ideas at me, tell me I'm an awful person for adding to the state of the environment, make me feel so bad that I have to give up. Be as mean as possible, I'm desperate.

Read the Allen Carr book The Easy Way to stop smoking. He changes the way you think about smoking and makes it easy to stop. I went from 20 a day to totally stopped after reading it 30 years ago and have never wanted one since.

Thank you I will try this

I feel for you. The good thing is that you have acknowledged that you want to stop and really want to be free. I smoked only when drinking, honestly I couldn't bear the thought of smoking sober or in the street. I started to enjoy it less and less and like you, it was impacting my exercise classes and i felt so guilty buying a pack at what is now 16!! I hated how I would be thinking if I had cigs at home, how many, better get a pack, having to go out of my way, eventually realised I'm not even enjoying that puff. I get you, I loved the puff for stress free and just to sit outside and have some thoughts. I bought the Allen Carr book, I read one chapter, I immediately felt quite grubby. Anyway, one weekend I just gave it up. Without having had read anymore of the book, I will read it thought to keep me from going back. Can you try and go cold turkey? Think of the quick wins- richer overnight - I now transfer 20 into my holidays savings, my skin has brightened up so much even people have commented. I don't wake up with the horrible breathy wheezy feeling. My sleep is so much better. I do crave and I just think about how rubbish it mades me feel and what I could buy for twenty quid instead