Frame of mind

[Girlintheframe]

I used to smoke cigarettes then vaped for about 5 years. I decided I'd had enough of it and tried to stop. I actually stopped for a month but now I'm back on the cigarettes.
Worst of all I'm smoking secretly behind my dh back. I need and want to stop again. I just don't know how to get myself back into the right frame of mind.
Something compels me to smoke. I can't quite put my finger on what it is. Even when I'm not actively craving I still decide to go and buy cigarettes.
How do I get myself back into the right mindset and how do I stop the inner longing (not craving) to smoke

Have you ruled out vaping again?

I KNOW what you mean. I was / am doing the same - sneaking around. Maybe it's a feeling of control, or what you can get away with. I'd feel horrified if he found out - I have never lied to him about anything else the entire time we've been together.
But something about inventing situations to sneak out and have a smoke, even when I don't particularly care. That becomes bigger than the actual nicotine habit.