Smoking in secret :(

[KnackeredInKnotsville]

I successfully stopped smoking in 2014 for over 8 months after reading Alan Carr. Lapsed that Xmas and have been back to it ever since.

I have been with new BF for almost a year now & have managed to keep it hidden from him. I am so ashamed of my filthy habit and I know he is dead against smoking. I am constantly washing my hair, clothes and am so paranoid about the smell all the time. Every time I buy a pack I say this is the last time! I am so weak and just can't get the motivation back to try again. Most of my friends don't know that I've been back smoking all this time either.

Done patches in the past, gum etc. I don't want to vape and am thinking maybe Champix might be the way forward, anyone used that to quit?

I live in fear that BF will catch me out one day or my children will let slip that they see me in the garden smoking! Or I will be seen buying them. I don't want to live like this I just want to wake up as a non smoker!

Sorry for the rambling post and I don't really know what I'm asking. Any advise from other serial quitters or secret smokers would be most appreciated

Can I ask why you don't want to vape?

I stopped smoking after 15 yrs after many failed attempts and started vaping instead. I never had the urge to smoke again. It's not ideal but the lesser of two evils and there is no smell to contend with either!

Hi Blackbird, I just want to be free from any kind of smoking & just get back to the place I was in 2014 but it just seems beyond my grasp now!
I can well understand the benefits of vaping but tbh I'd feel ashamed doing that too

I know, it's so difficult! I've resigned myself to the fact that I will likely be a vaper forever

You can buy the liquid in different strengths though, I currently use 6mg which is really low, but you could taper down to 2mg then 0mg and then maybe stop from there?

The only thing that gave me the incentive to stop everything was pregnancy! But I started vaping again about 4 months after the birth......