I gave up smoking 3 years ago. About a week and a half ago I bought a pack of 10. I smoked one and kept the pack. I was very upset at the time and thought it would make me feel better. Fyi it didn't.
Next opportunity I had away from dp I smoked another - well about half actually as it made me feel so ill.
Today, dp's out and isn't due home until this evening. I've had two so far. Both made me feel really nauseated. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I'm smoking out of the window in my flat, terrified the LL will find out somehow. She won't will she? I'm scared we'll get chucked out of our home. I know the LL won't come round any time soon so she won't smell it but in the back of my mind I keep thinking what if there's spy cameras set up! 
I just want to get through this pack and be done with it. I can't bring myself to throw them away.