Advice on supporting friend through stillbirth whilst being pregnant myself?

[CarbyCat]

My lovely friend sadly had a still birth at 24 weeks and I was wondering if anyone had a similar situation or had any advice on how I can best support her? I’m pregnant, my due date is 2 weeks after her little baby was due, so we were very close together. We’ve been in contact nearly daily through out our pregnancies from the very early weeks. I’m so heartbroken for her and so sad that our dreams of us sharing motherhood and growing our little babies together has been taken away. I can’t imagine what she is feeling. How can I be there for her? I really don’t want to loose my friend but completely understand that I’m probably someone she is going to find it very hard to be around, I want to be as sensitive and kind as possible. I’ve sent her messages of support and to let her know I’m thinking of her and her little one. I’m planning on sending her a hand written card and a gift, I was thinking maybe some kind of remembrance jewellery but I’m open to suggestions.
Thank you

I have been in your friend’s situation, my baby was stillborn at 28 weeks. She may need to get some distance from you to get through these next few weeks and months. If that does happen don’t take it personally, it’s such a sad time for her.

I think it is the right thing to acknowledge her loss and send a card. I still have a few treasures around my house given to me at the time to remember my DD, they meant a lot and still do. I would look for something small and beautiful she can keep on a shelf.

Hello, my baby was stillborn earlier this year. A few bits of advice from my experience… I think a meaningful gift is so lovely and shows you’re thinking of her and her baby. I had a friend due around the same time as me - not an especially close friend but I really can’t bring myself to visit her and her baby yet, so I think you’re right to expect your friend not to want to see you for a while. I think you can acknowledge that and say for that reason you’re not intending to encourage a visit etc but that you’ll work to her timelines and say you’re really happy for her to be honest with you about what feels right for her. I found the open invites to meet up a bit stressful as the ball was then always in my court. I liked people checking in, and continuing to check in even after the initial weeks/months - even if you don’t get a reply, just to show you’re thinking of her. Finally, if she named her baby then try and use her baby’s name when checking in with her. I hope that helps, you sound like a really caring friend x

I went through this. Please be very kind to your friend. Please make serious allowances for her. I couldn't bare to see my pregnant friends but some expected me to want to see their babies weeks after I lost mine. I was deeply traumatised. You may be the last person she wants to see for a long time.