Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Stillbirth and neonatal death

Here you can find stillborn bereavement support and stillbirth stories from other Mumsnet users, plus legal rights and support information.

Baby loss 25 wk unexpected

4 replies

Sp1509 · 21/04/2025 02:13

I'm so sorry for posting here but I'm not sure where to go. My wife was expecting our 2nd baby girl, I woke up this morning having had a nightmare about our baby not having a heartbeat, it was like a jolt in a dream that woke me up and i felt her presence which sounds crazy, it was very vivid and I got up feeling unsettled. When I went downstairs my wife said she had suddenly felt ill with sickness and couldn't feel our baby moving. She went to an emergency appointment with the midwife as she said she couldn't feel movement. That morning, the midwife couldn't detect a heartbeat and sent us to a nearby hospital. The consultant doctor there confirmed our baby had no heartbeat and had died in the womb at 25 weeks. I've tried to put on a brave face for my other children and partner but privately I am really struggling to make sense of this, and struggling to hold it together. I feel like there's something I missed and I don't understand why this happened as a week ago at a late scan our baby was fine. The dream that morning has me really unsettled, questioning if I was being told somehow there was something wrong. If I had acted on instinct quickly, could I have prevented this or helped in some way.

OP posts:
WearyAuldWumman · 21/04/2025 02:23

I am so sorry for your loss.

No, you couldn't have prevented this. The sense of guilt that you are experiencing is normal after the death of a loved one.

It's been 4 yrs since my husband died of a heart attack. I still find myself going over events again and again, trying to think of what the outcome might have been had I done things differently.

I'm sorry - you couldn't have saved your baby. Look after your partner and your children but also be kind to yourself.

Langdale3 · 21/04/2025 02:30

I am sorry for your loss. 💐

@WearyAuldWumman is right. It wasn’t anything that you could have prevented at all. Please take good care of yourselves. On a practical level, are you able to take leave from work?

Sp1509 · 21/04/2025 03:09

Thank you , yes I can take time off.. we have to deliver our baby over next few days so I'm staying off work so i can be there and support my wife through delivery, i am scared, but I do want to hold my baby girl at least once but I'm really not prepared for this and never been through anything like it. I need to support my partner, i know she has to do the birth which will be so hard for her and i need to take carr of our kids too. She's doing better than me, no idea how, she's a strong woman. I just feel helpless, I've never felt this way in my entire life, it just feels like I've lost control. Sorry, but thank you for replying.

OP posts:
Charliecatpaws · 21/04/2025 03:23

I’m so sorry for your loss it must be heartbreaking. 💔

New posts on this thread. Refresh page