Different now

[Meekmouse]

I’m a different person after my baby was born sleeping at term a few years ago.Does anyone else find this?
I relate to people differently and it can be a good or bad thing

I find I feel changed for life too. I can’t explain it I just feel I’ll never be the same again after the loss. But then again it’s really put into perspective what’s important in life to me nothing matters other than family

Thank you for your reply. Yes exactly. I am so invested in family now but I shed a lot of friendships when my baby died. I just don’t feel as close to lots of people any more. I hope I’m more empathetic but I also think I’m more reserved.

Yes. I'm different. I don't really go out like I used to. I seem unable to relax amongst people. I feel like an alien now - someone in the wrong world. It's just this deep sadness which is always with me. The loss is so shocking then just this sadness.
I'm sorry you've had to experience this. Love to you and all the women who've experienced this. X

@Meekmouse definitely! I just feel like a more introverted and generally anxious person since everything. Seems like that’s the same with all of us I wonder why that is :/ I’m still navigating everything and I’m pregnant again atm it all 🤯🤯🤯

It's only happened 4 weeks ago, my baby boy was stillborn at 35 weeks and I already know I'll never be the person I was before.

@gemloving I’m so incredibly sorry. You won’t but it does get better and your precious boy will always be with you. I often light a candle for my darling girl and I’ll light a candle for him as well.
Make sure you cry as much as you need and you ask for help when you need it. I found SANDS meetings really helpful. It’s beyond awful and you do change but it does get better.

@gemloving im so so sorry for your loss 💙😢😢 what was your little boys name? I know things atm seem like hell on earth and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel but I promise you that life will become liveable again, the pain doesn’t go but it’s eases with time. I just remember when it happened to me that I didn’t think I could listen to music again or just be able to live my life anymore but your beautiful boy will never leave your thoughts and heart. Sending you all my love and the biggest virtual hug xx

Hi everyone. I feel comforted by your responses although I am sorry you all know the pain of this. @gemloving I’m so sorry that you lost your precious boy so recently - the pain is unbearable - in the first few weeks it was very hard and it’s horrible you’re going through these early weeks. I hope you’re ok or as ok as one can be in these horrible horrible circumstances.
Looking back everything seemed to hurt in the first few weeks- everything! There were reminders everywhere - all the time. It did get easier in my case as time went on (I didn’t think it would) although I would never say something as stupid as time heals or you move on or anything like that because we all know it doesn’t work like that and we wouldn’t ever want to forgot our precious babies.
@Shrillwaffle I hope navigating pregnancy after loss is going okay- it’s a minefield I know so I hope you get supports. @Fifireee I really identify with what you say- you describe it so well.
Now, a few years on I have a lot of good in my life but I’m always aware that I’m different now.