Really scared

[Ithurtbad]

I had lost baby boy 2005 and it was the hardest experience of life.
Since then I did go on to have my son who is a teenager now.
Currently I am 19 weeks pregnant and really anxious and my baby changed position and think movements changed. Since yesterday was a mess don't want to go through this again. I only think I put of calling midwife because I been feeling movements. If anyone knows those words sorry to your baby dead the head is down. I never forgot it and at the time my pregnant friend was next to me.
I had supportive friends but don't think the pregnant friend understood how I was feeling.
My mind has not been right even switched my phone off couldn't speak to anyone. Then it's only today I am like got to speak to a midwife.
I am sorry just no one else will get how I am feeling on here.

I know you all will go on to have more babies in the future. But now take one day at a time. You will never for the baby you lost. Each year goes by you will think of them. Remember to get counselling I never did. It's normal to be anxious.
When time comes please look after yourselves.

Have you got an appointment for today for a scan OP? You need to know either way. Sooner is better whatever the outcome. Can someone go with you to the scan? Your partner? A sister or close friend?

@TwoWeeksislong
My DP coming home today but I don't know if he can face it he just getting ovr

@TwoWeeksislong

My phone is playing up.

I don't think my DP can face it he just getting over his mum's funeral.

I might have to go alone but it's like I suppose I might rather go alone as my DP wouldn't cope. Saying that I still think baby changed position but maybe trying to convince myself of that. I hope my gut feeling wrong. Everything okay.

I will call triage 9am or maternity assessment. I have had many scares and this one I feel that's it.

I don't know what will happen but I will get through it.

Are you allowed an extra person for support? So you, your DP and one more person maybe? If you think that would help if your DP can’t manage to be in the room or if he won’t be feeling up to the drive potentially?
Have you called your midwife? And have you told anyone other than your partner in real life? You really need a scan OP. It’s so hard but you have to do it.

I’m crossing my fingers for you and hoping they see a good strong heartbeat and that you feel reassured.

@TwoWeeksislong

Yes I have mentioned it to my mum, two friends but all saying it be okay.

It's like now feel something but still scared.

I have 20wk scan next week and under rainbow.
This pregnancy not been easy maybe because I am nearly 40 just feel like one thing after another.
I went at 17 wks already to check me and all was okay.
I feel my mental health not good at all.
It's because my DP and I were trying for a baby for ages and I knew something was wasn't right my side then had laparoscopy and now pregnant. Happened so fast we come so far can't lost this baby now..It might end us.
Sitting here feeling movements so wondering if I should call or leave it for next week 20 scan.
What it is my belly changed in that's it's got bigger baby changed position. The right side was sticking out no movements now seems baby to left. It freaked me out.
I might see what midwife says first I honestly can't face a scan..I need a weekend to just prepare myself incase but hope that it's just me panicking as always..
Thanks for advice

Feeling movements sounds really positive OP. Belly growth in pregnancy is not linear. Try to talk to a midwife today, hopefully they can reassure you that everything is likely to be fine.