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Step-parenting

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over six weeks absences and,.....

6 replies

prettyfly1 · 06/07/2010 14:06

Most of you know the backstory with dps ex hounding and stalking us to the point of very nearly needing to take legal action in december to get it to stop, at which point she decided dp couldnt see ds anymore unless he agreed to leave me and our two children. DP obviously didnt do this and has been forced since then to stick to a reduced access arrangement from 60 percent to a few hours on a sunday.

Anyhoo. We already had serious concerns. Dss told us on sunday that his mum weighed 11 stone and was only eating porridge and african herbs to lose weight and there was no food in the house.

This was followed by telling us that apparently mummy has been playing "special detective games" online looking for "friends" of her ex boyfriends (she is obsessive about both me and my partner and her other ex whom she decided had a twin brother she had never met who he was using to go out and cheat on her) and getting dss to help her with it. This REALLY worried us - unhealthy relationships with food and relationships aside he has also developed a stammer that is getting worse, so we were discussing how to proceed HOWEVER..

today we got his school report. He has missed 302 sessions at school and had FIFTY absences (so twenty five full days). He is also FALLING DEEPLY ASLEEP in classes, falling behind with work, quiet and dopey all of the time.

What on earth do we do - the last time we tried to step in she told dh she was going to tell the police he had hit her to ruin his career (he is a teacher so cant have any of this sort of stuff against him) which he just wouldnt do. DH is a primary school teacher and is one of the loveliest, sweeetest people you could meet so it really isnt in his nature to behave that way. SHe has sent letters to the house saying I am aggressive and a danger to her son (which I am not...) and is just incredibly dangerous but we cannot let her do this to the boy any more - HELLLLLPPPP... dp is now utterly distraught.

OP posts:
KiKa20 · 06/07/2010 14:13

Firstly make a note of ANY conversations you or your DP have with her and anything your DSS says about her.
She sounds completly barking to me.

Can you go through solicitors to get full custody of him? It sounds like you have enough evidence of neglect to be able have him live with you. If not, I know it sounds terrible but can you get social services involved?
This child should not be living with his mother. I would get a solicitor involved straight away.

prettyfly1 · 06/07/2010 14:15

Even more terrifyingly dp just informed me that it isnt looking for exes online - she is actually taking her seven year old ds out in the car looking for him, watching him and looking for his girlfriends - I actually feel a little bit sick and really dont know what to tell him to do.

OP posts:
prettyfly1 · 06/07/2010 14:17

I think you are right but we are so worried about the fallback on dss - he has been hurt so badly by all of this and is now a damaged, frightened little boy - we just dont want to make it worse.

OP posts:
mjinhiding · 06/07/2010 18:48

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prettyfly1 · 06/07/2010 19:05

Hi Mj. Thansk for this. We dont have him overnight any more so we cant be held accountable for any of it. I know something has to be done and we have made an appointment with the school to start the ball rolling. Having had a think I think you are right and ss do indeed need to be called to get the situation under control. I feel awful for dp and I know how much it will hurt dss but he is a child and this absolutely has to stop now!

OP posts:
mjinhiding · 06/07/2010 20:29

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