Who gets what in the will? Second family

[citybranch]

DH and I need to write a will, what do you think is the fairest way for all? What do second/step families usually do?

DH and I have 2 very young DCs together.
We have a very large mortgage together - £220k (with life insurance), I pay more in as I earn twice as much as DH.
We each paid half of the deposit.

DH has 3 older children from his previous long term relationship. Acrimonious split - DH's XP has never allowed him access to their youngest DC (although we are hoping to go to court for this).
DH gave a house to XP, it did have a very small mortgage (£40k) which she is able to pay with her part time job.
XP's house is valued at a little bit more than ours. She has not remarried.
We pay over and above CSA rates to XP.

We are very close to DH's oldest two DCs and they spend a lot of time with us. Even though we don't know the younger DD (yet) we want to treat her exactly the same as the older two with regards to the Will.

What is the fairest way for all?
Thanks in advance!

My DH and I did this a couple of years ago. We have two DC and he has two DC from his previous marriage.

We decided to have mirror wills - that is where a husband and wife basically leave everything to each other. We then have it in our wills that when the other one of us dies, the children inherit their portion. My Dh trusts that if I am the last of us to die that I will honour the will in terms of leaving a percentage of our estate to his children. However, we have set the percentage a little higher for our children as his will also inherit from their mother. We have also set the age at which they will inherit higher than for our children as DH is worried that they would not get the best advice from their mother and wants them to be mature enough to deal with things themselves.

Dh has 3 children from his first marriage and we have 1 DC together.

We have done it so that it goes to each other but is then set up so that DH's share is split between the 4 of them, whilst my share goes to totally to our DC.

His DC will also inherit from their mum.

My husband and I have mirror wills so we inherit from each other. We have decided to split our joint inheritance three ways between my daughter (his SD) and our two children.

If SD gets anything extra from her dad then that is up to him but we wanted to treat them completely equally.

I know not everyone will agree with the way we have done it but in the event of our deaths we want to make it clear to them that they are equals in our hearts and minds (how they feel was more important to us than the money) and this seemed the best way - no arguments or ill feeling.

We don't have any assets yet, so haven't done wills, but we have talked about the splitting of any future assets.

We have DD (4 months) and DP has a DD (7), both of his children would inherit through their mothers (ie, if I died my parents money would go to DD and DP's XP inherited a substantial amount which will go to DSD, IYSWIM) Because of this we have decided that we would split everything we own 50:50 between the two children if we both died and have mirror wills for if one of us died. Although it's all a bit academic now...

Do what feels fair for all your children and what works best for your family.

Sorry for the hijack, but this has raised some interesting questions for me - what happens in this situation if you die intestate? Doesn't the spouse automatically inherit everything?

Also, if the DC's of the deceased are still under 16, does maintenance have to be paid out of the estate?

Interesting - we are in this position and have not yet made wills. Difficulty is that the DSC & DC are differtn ages with different needs, and although DH's ex-w has assets of her own, she has a chronic illness th tmeks eit likley that she will need significant care later and will not retain those assets to leave the DSC...I suppose the anser is to make SOMETHING so as not to be intestate, and review every eyar as circs change/develop...
Hmm...

We are leaving everything equally between the dss's and my ds, as the dss's won't inherit anything from their mother or her family.

Out of interest, if part of what you propose to leave is something you will inherit from your own parents, you need to discuss this with them, as if you predecease your parents, your share goes to your "issue" (in Scots law anyway, I think it is the same in England)This does not include step children unless they are specifically named in the will. So my mum has altered her will to state that my share of the inheritence, should I be already dead, is to be split with my issue, plus the named Dss's. Obviously, your parents need to be in agreement about this.

we havent done a will yet - we have 1 ds and he has 2 dd.

I want everything to go to me and our ds and if its me all to dh and ds.

He walked out of his 1st marriage with nothing told the solicitor he didnt want a thing all to be left to his ex and kids...the house had a £70k mortgage which was reduced to £40k - she then sold it £6 years later for £250k.

So imo that is the kids inheritence.

Ours is set up exactly the same as Autumnsun.

We're in a slightly different, less complicated situation as it'd just 3 DSC's to worry about at the moment. We were advised that if DP were to die before me, while his DCS's are still dependants, if I were to inherit his half of our house it would be possible for his ex to contest the will in order to get maintenance for his DC's.

We've set up a separate life insurance policy that will go straight to them/ their mum. That seems the fairest thing to do for now!

I have dsd (15) and 2 ds (8 and 4). We haven't yet done a will but have said that we would inherit from each other then on the death of the second, all monies would be split equally three ways.
If my dh died before dsd reached 18 I would also continue our maintenance payments or give a lump sum equivalent until she came of age.
My reasoning behind all this is that dh has good insurance cover both privately and through work so we would be left more than financially secure. I don't see why dsd should suffer when mine wouldn't. Also, regardless of what she inherits from her mother, she is no less dh's child than the other two so why should she get less?
We don't buy extra presents for ds's at Christmas etc. just because she gets from her mother aswell, they all get the same. He loves them all equally and I wouldn't expect him to leave one child more or less than another.

I have 2 dds and am pg with new dh. Our will is set up to be split between all children, if I go first dh lives in the house until he has a new long term partner or remarries or dies when my half is split between all children.

We talked about this recently, we are married, he has a daughter and I am pregnant with our first child.

He has a life insurance policy that will pay out a sum to be held in trust for his daughter if he should die. It will also pay out a lump sum to me, I have asked this to pay out to our child, held in trust by me if everything goes to plan. I can provide for myself (thank you ).

Our set up is unusual in that, even though we are married, DH makes no claim on our marital home (not sure of the legality of this, need to get it checked) I will make a will leaving our home in trust to my children, with the proviso that DH lives in it, or similar value property (I imagine he will want to move closer to his family if I were to go) for as long as he has need. I have good life cover, which will also pay out a good sum for him to do as he pleases with.

DH fully agrees with this, simply because his daughter is only three atm. If anything were to happen to him, my home would be at risk of claims by his ex. He has no registered interest in the house, it is in my sole name. I am fully responsible for the house. He pays my rent each month towards his keep (and the bills) theoretically this is mine to spend as I please. I will probably leave something to SD, but this will be of my own volition, with my own conditions set, probably an age at which the money can be released to her, so her mother can't get her hands on it.

We need to see a solicitor pdq, I know that much lol.

Anita, if your DH has a daughter from his previous marriage / relationship, does he not currently give some money for her upkeep? If he does, then should he not make sure his insurance pays out straight away in the event of his death?

Think your set up regarding your marital home would be open to legal challenge. I'm no lawyer but the state usually looks at marital assets as joint ones - otherwise you would have lots of people claiming benefits saying they had no assets but their wife owns the house! Think it would be different if you had owned the house independently for many years before you became a couple but if, to quote Baldrick, it's just a 'cunning plan' I think it's one that may unravel somewhat in the execution.

LadyLapsang, He has an insurance policy which will pay out a monthly sum equal to his maintenace (with provision for increases w ith inflation) the capital wil be held in trust until she is of an age to manage it herself. The lump sum does not have to be paid to DSDs mother on my DHs death, only that adequate provision has been made for her.

The house has been mine for the last eight years, during most of which, I was with my ex-partner. He moved in less than two years ago there is very little capital in it and all major improvements were carried out before he moved in. Thanks to the housing market, my deposit + the mortgage is actually more than the house value atm. The 'cunning plan' actually came after the exection so to speak.

If adquate provision is (and has) been made for DSD then no challenge can be raised (and won) DJ was very keen to make sure that DSDs mother couldn't try to claim my home from me.

I wanted to put my DHs name on the deeds. BUT I do not want DSDs mother to benefit from my demise, and we need to make sure that she cannot try and make me homeless should anything happen to DH. (I have no problem with DSD inheriting even part of the house, but her mother will go after every last penny of DHs money), I just don't see why her mother should get anything after what she has put DH and I through. If she recieved the lump sum, DSD wouldn't see the benefit in any way, shape, or form.

TBH at the moment, I THINK the house would pass to him, but it wouldn't even be automatic as he's not named on the deeds.

I hadn't thought about doing a life insurance policy, my son is 7 and lives with myself and new partner, my partner has a 13 year old daughter. I have been worrying what will happen if my partner died or myself in terms of my son having to go back to his father. An insurance policy seems like the best option to ensure both children are protected as well as the surviving partner! Seems morbid to think about but have to be practical.

Been so busy worrying about getting the step parent bit right, have never really thought about the money side of things. DP and I have a business together, as well as other family related ties - we are considering selling both our houses and buying something together any time soon - We assume that whichever one of us is left could live in the property held in trust or something until death - then any assets to be equally distributed between all our children. Or is that too simplistic? Will his ex'w and my ex'h be able to claim anything from our estates if one of us pops off early? I know we are supposed to think about these things but it's all a bit morbid on a sunny Monday morning! Just thought also that if I inherit from my mother, could either of the ex's be able to claim anything from this estate as well? Think I need some good legal advice.

secondtimer, Yes, it would probably be appropriate to grant one another life interests in the property you're planning to buy, on the basis that when the second of you dies, the joint estate is distributed equally between all of the children. The only way that the exes would be able to claim would be if the children were still financially dependent and had not been adequately provided for. They would be applying on behalf of the child, not themselves.

I'm a lawyer with 20 years experience and have recently started a freelance willwriting business. If you need any further advice, please feel free to email me at [email protected]. I usually charge about half of my "day job" rate for the freelance wills.

This brings me to the bigger question of why we feel we must leave our money to the next generation!
But that's something else.
We have agreed that we inherit from eachother, but we each want to spend our "half" differently.
We are in theory splitting it all 50/50 although I paid the deposit and pay the mortgage (he pays other bills and earns less than I do).
DH wants each child to have half each of his. I want to give most of my half to charity and some to my godchildren.
We will each honour the other's wishes,depending on who goes first! If we go together (aah) then our executors will see that our wishes are granted.
With regard to age - after discussion, we agreed quite a high inheritance age for the children so that they are able to manage whatever money comes their way sensibly (we hope!).
If DH dies whilst still paying child maintenance, I will continue to pay it for the benefit of the child.
It's tricky though - thank god there are no other children to consider and all the various permutations that throws up!

mumblechum, thanks, that's a load off knowing that whatever we leave will go to the four people we love best in the whole world. Good luck with the new venture - I may take you up on your offer and get things legalised at some time soon. Thanks.