Bedrooms

[thegingercat]

I'd really appreciate some input on this subject.

Partner and I are considering moving in together and are thinking about what is best bedroom wise for all our children.

Partner has 4 children; Girl, 14, Girl 12, Boy 11, Girl 7. They live with their mother most of the time and live with my partner at his house 2 nights per week. All the children have a complete home at both houses and nothing goes in between including all toys and clothes.

I have 1 son aged 12. He lives with me vast majority of the time and stays with his Dad only 1 night a month. Doesn't have anything of his own at his Dad's - not even a toothbrush. Unfortunately, the lack of contact is only down to his Dad.

We would have to move into partners house (due to work reasons - it's a "tied" house) and the current set up bedroom wise is as follows; 4 bedroom house. Partner has main bedroom, his 2 eldest daughters have a medium size room which they share with bunk beds, his son has the other medium size room and his youngest daughter has a very small box room.

My son currently has a medium size room with bunk beds for when a friend wants to stay.

What would you say would be the fairest way to organise the bedrooms whilst not upsetting his children and making them feel pushed out but also by giving my son a space that he feels is his own.

Well I had a chat with DP and it went better than I thought.

We looked at the room and he showed me what he thought might work, to create another "cupboard" within the room for the white goods to go.

I then asked him who he thought should go in that room and he said he didn't know but said he thought my DS might feel "odd one out" if not allowed to be upstairs, he also mentioned that he would be woken up every day by the front door slamming (this room is next to the front door). We had a nice chat about his kids waking up early and that it would be nicer for our privacy if a child wasn't in that room every night and also it could still be used as a laundry room if a child wasn't in it all the time.

I asked him if he had changed his mind on the extension and what were his reasons? I know he spoke to a friend about it yesterday and showed him round the house. He said he didn't think his boss would go for it as his children only stay twice a week. It's nice that he can see the situation for what it is. I said that I want everyone to be happy and that I want his children to feel that they have a home with us, but I also stated that the facts are at the moment, only 1 will live with us 7 days a week.

We still have discussions to have about who should have that room - I think he wants his son to have it, but how would his son feel about my DS having his old room and him being put downstairs? I think maybe 2 of the girls need to share that room.

If your son is to be with you all the time then it makes sense for him to have the largest room after yours and to choose the decor or choose it jointly with your stepson if they are sharing. Your new man has to recognise your son's input into the home as it will be his main home. I would refuse to move if he was being squished in as an afterthought.