Holiday contact?

[Tanga]

DH and I have been talking about going back to court to ask for holiday contact with DSS (8)We've had weekend contact for over 5 years but had to go through a terrible court case to get it. We do get very minimal extra holiday contact at the moment but that was set when DSS was only 2 or 3. As he's got older, he feels very left out of family trips and holidays and also doesn't get to see as much of his Dad's wider family, either, because of the distance that would have to be covered in a very short space of time.

DH organised mediation but DSS's mother refused to go, which doesn't leave us much choice, but I'm dreading going back into the court system and wonder whether it is worth going to all the effort when it took us so long to get a contact order established. Or am I being horribly selfish and depriving DSS of holiday times with his Daddy (who he absolutely adores)?

has dh got a defined contact order or does it say at the end that he can have more contact if both of them agree? if it not defined then he could just approach his ex to see if she will give him a little more contact. if not then going if he wants more contact, which he is entitled to, he should go back to court to have the order varied. as contact has been taking place for so long i cant see a court refusing to increase it even by a little.

DH had asked for very small amounts of extra contact, for example at Xmas the court ordered contact was for two full days contact and we asked to have them together with an overnight so we could go and see his Grandparents who were hosting a Christmas party for the wider family. This was refused on the grounds that 'it's bad enough he has to see you at all'.

The only contact we have ever had has been court ordered but when it is ordered she tends to stick to it (mind you the judge was fairly robust during the last 12 months of the proceedings)

I'm not unsympathetic to her feelings but DSS's rights are more important - but if only there was another way.

It doesn't sound like the Mother is going to come to any kind of agreement for extra contact without being ordered to by a court. If Dad wants more time with his DS, he'll have to go back to court

i would recommend filing an application for extended contact with the court. It may not need to go any further than that. Receiving the summons may be enough to kick the BM into seeing sense.

I think that if it did go to court, at 8 year old and with an established weekend contact routine already in place, no court or CAFCASS officer is going to disagree with you having at least 50% of all school holidays.

Court doesnt have to be horrible or expensive. You can represent yourself and achieve the outcomes you are looking for. Family courts are not like criminal or civil courts. You dont need to spouting case law and offering objections etc.