Something rather funny ....

[KaPe]

... so you know it's not only the stepmums who feel their lives are being invaded!

DD9 got her laptop for Christmas, and yesterday her father called her and asked her to install Skype. I helped her install it, and then she went into her room to chat with him and his wife's children ....

I am in the process of renovating my house, the entire place is a total tip! I went back to sanding the doors when I caught her downstairs in the living room, poiting the laptop in all directions at the piles of stuff being stored there for the time being. She was giving the ex, his wife and her daughter's a guided tour of the house, helpfully pointing out "it's a bit messy at the moment"! Aaaargh!

I do not think that is funny at all.
I think your DD needs at least a telling off.
I would go further and think of other things to deny her, like the laptop.
It is an invasion of your privacy imo, would they like your daughter to film their home?

Lol! Dsd took photos of her and dd with her mobile, looking in my full-length bedroom mirror, so you could see my bedroom in the background. Then put them on facebook. My immediate thought was "she could have bloody waited until I'd tidied".

Eleanor, this is DD's home, and DD showed it to her father and his wife's kids. Would I have reacted the same way had she shown it to my parents or any other mates? No, I wouldn't!

These are my issues, not hers! I did tell her off for showing "people" our mess (even though it was there for a good reason), but I can hardly voice my true feelings ... I don't want your father and his floozy entering my house, even if it's just by videolink!

Just shows you that kids see the world and life in a slightly different way!

I found it funny - ouch sort of funny.

It's the reason I haven't setup a webcam for chatting to other parent

How humiliating!

One day I was wandering around my living room in a dressing gown, straight from bed, when I heard a young female voice ask "C'est qui, ça?" and DSS1 reply "Ma belle-mère". I had to stamp down very quickly on the DSSs chatting to friends on Skype in communal areas!

Oh dear, sounds like I'm the only one who thinks it's funny. But then I remember previous threads about the ex being in your home and vice versa and I said that neither scenario would bother me, and I was in a minority then too!

op would they be ok with a cam tour of their place also?

Elenor, no, they certainly wouldn't ... but then, why should I punish little one just because "they" wouldn't be okay with a tour of their place? This would mean that I'd implement new rules and approaches to life just because they have the same! I don't credit either of them with enough parenting skills to influence my parenting style!

As for family or not family .... whilst I'd be probably less embarassed, I'd certainly not share my mess with my family either ... in fact, I am so paranoid that I had to let go of my cleaner because I used to clean the day before she came just so she wouldn't think I was a messy person.

Surfermum, my ex has been to my new home, and I even hid the key for him before when he needed to collect something for DD. I have been to his preliminary home (before he ultimately got one with his new wife), in fact, I lived there for a few weeks before exchanging, but would never ever think of setting foot into his new house or even calling their landline. If he lived alone that would be different, but certainly not with a partner or wife living there ... or rather with the OW.

Whilst my ex is still welcome to enter my house (and does on the rare occasions he collects DD), I'd certainly never ever allow his wife to set foot over my doorstep. But then, I'd not expect to ever set foot over hers, which is fair enough.

Funny that you said the bit about mentioning small details about your house ... I am actually stunned about how little DD feels she can tell them about our life. Until recently, her stepsisters had no idea DD had a mummy. Now they believe I still live on the Continent and that DD is only visiting me for holidays. No idea where they think DD actually lives, because she hardly ever stays with them.

Had a slight problem with this skyping last night ... DD had already spoken to stepsisters during the day and was on Skype with them again (they keep calling) when I came home at 7pm. The connection then broke down, and we had dinner. Stepsisters kept then calling DD's mobile, wanting her to go back online because the younger one's bedtime was approaching.

My partner got thoroughly p*ssed off ... he had been unable to go through DD's homework earlier because she was on Skype, and now we didn't even get time for a peaceful dinner.

I texted the ex, asking whether they could refrain from skyping/calling after 7pm, because this was our quality time as a family (bear in mind that he was the one who stopped me getting my court ordered telephone contact because this would interfere with his stepdaughters' (of only a few weeks) bedtime). Caused a major drama, and now Skype will have to be disconnected after 7pm.

Why is life just so blooming complicated?

Interesting to see all the adults insisting on their rights and rules about who can phone when, and who can or can't put a foot over the doorstep etc., and the children blithely continuing with the best thing - being relaxed about getting on with each other. I know things aren't always that simple, but a lesson to be learned from that perhaps...

We used to get accused of interrogating dsd when she was about what her mum's house was like. Of course we didn't! We were just showing an interest in what her home was like, just like have recently to my niece who has bought her first house. To me it would be a bit like not knowing what dd's school was like.

I think adults forget that it's different perspective for the kids.

I did find the OP story funny (embarrassing but funny).

I feel sorry for my DS since he has been forced into having 2 separate lives, places to live. Each is compartmentalised. I know he sometimes wants to share, but unfortunately his mum is quite strict on the lines drawn and times of communication.

I also admit, since the unpleasantness since the court action, I honestly don't want to share any part of this home virtually or otherwise (partly because it might get used) - before court it used to be different.

Not fair on child.

PS on webcam, I personally prefer the phone, you cant tell if the person is busy doing something else too

LOL i found this quite funny.....also isn't it nice that she was showing off your home even if it was untidy. She obviously likes it there