Small ones

8 replies

fantasticfour · 29/12/2009 11:34

Can anyone give me advice on how to deal with my partner's 3 year old daughter who seems to have changed how she feels about me over the last few weeks? She used to really be ok with me and seemed to enjoy being with me but recently she just gives me really black looks every time I come into the room and won't have anything to do with me. We're off out for the day so won't be back for a while but any advice will be greatfully received. Thanks

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

piscesmoon · 29/12/2009 14:10

Don't try too hard-just do some fun things and she will want to join in.

squashedfrogs · 29/12/2009 15:29

I have this too and don't ignore DP's DD but I don't try to interact with her either. I let her come and see what I'm up to when it suits her. It's a work in progress and will probably take some time.

Frostythesurfmum · 29/12/2009 15:35

I would just be exactly the same as you've always been with her. Well ... unless you lock her in her bedroom so you can cuddle her dad.

Have you any idea what might be up? The thing is with one so little it could be something that seems trivial to us. DD went right off her swimming teacher the day he pulled a dangling plaster off her knee.

Original poster

fantasticfour · 30/12/2009 18:03

Thanks for all advice. I've been letting her be and not reacting to how she is with me, and she's been a bit better with me. I think she's just in a big 'mummy' phase at the moment, which is only natural, but it is upsetting sometimes. Thanks again.

OP posts:

MargritEllen · 31/12/2009 13:05

Understand how horrid it is when you get those black looks after wanting so badly to be accepted. My partners son is up and down with me - one minute he loves my company, then he shoots me daggers! I guess we just have to be consistent and not put them under any pressure. x

NewAlmostStepMum · 08/01/2010 14:47

I used to have this with DSD who is three (was 2 when I met her). I came to realise that firstly, she was jealous of me being with her Dad, and secondly that she wasn't getting enough girly time with her Mum, who palms her off with friends/relatives during her contact time. We're the Girl Team now. I just kept my cool with her, found things I know she'd love that DP isn't confident in doing with her (e.g. making little beady necklaces) and gave her a little nickname that only I use. Haven't seen a black look in ages

lovingeverymoment · 14/01/2010 16:34

My DH and I find that his DD (my DSD) goes through real stages of being a daddy's girl or stepmummy's girl, depending on her mood. At the moment, she is very into her girly things, and tends to come to me if she wants to play or be comforted. I'm sure her daddy will be flavour of the month again soon! Perhaps you will find this with your DSD?

PeppermintJunkie · 17/01/2010 19:54

There's every chance she may have heard something about you that she doesn't like, but IMHO I think she's far too young to understand such things....not that she wouldn't of course, but it would have to be a clear cut case of hearing her mother behaving angrily towards you or your OH.

My advice is simply...ignore, ignore, ignore. Treat her as you always treat her, don't change your daily habits in any way whatsoever or the way you behave towards her (however difficult!). This really could just be a phase she's going through, and provided she feels safe, loved and wanted in your home, it won't be long before she reverts to her normal behaviour.

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