Christmas Worries Starting Early

[KaPe]

Aaaaarrrgh ... can I get your input as to how you handle presents your (s)kids receive at the other parent's house?

How do you deal with you some of your (s)kids getting more expensive presents at the other house than the rest of your kids?

hiya... i see this has gone unanswered, so though id give it a go. Personally, i would not even try to compete. I dont have any kids of my own, only 2 stepkids, but i would just get them what i planned on getting them, and what they get at the other house really has nothing to do with me. I know it wont feel fair to your own kids, if the stepkids get two lots of presents, but i dont see there is alot you can do. Maybe explain to your kids that thats just how it is...

Really...im not alot of help at all! Hope someone who knows better comes along soon

Thanks for this ... I was more worried about the competition between the kids. How do you explain that one or more of them might receive more presents (from their other parent or relatives) ... or would you just ask for presents not to be brought over?

I think presents staying at the giver's house is probably a good rule, but we have never been tough enough to enforce it.

Maybe suggest that only one present can be swapped between houses?

I think I am very lucky really. I have two children from my first marriage, and DS1 is from a previous relationship to that. My XH treats DS1 like his own, but DS1 also has sporadic contact with his birth father and his family and gets gifts when he goes there.

I say I am lucky as DS1 is very kind and will often share whatever he gets with DS2 (DS3 is too young to understand anyway). For example, he recently got £50 when he saw his birth father, but bought a present for his brother. Last time he got a Game gift card and he got he game he wanted, then got DS2 a game. I have never asked him to do this, and make it clear he doesn't have to, but he likes to do it.

Prior to that happening, I would just explain to DS2 that DS1 had another Dad and that was why he got 'extra' stuff, but it was never really a huge problem anyway.

Merry Christmas, eh??? DD is going to get a laptop from all of us this year. I have a very large family, and my ex's mum contributed as well. Now, she wanted a Macbook for ages, and I certainly wouldn't have paid that much for a Christmas present, given she is not even 10 yet. But then I thought rather one big one she plays with than 15 cheaper ones I cannot fit in my house ... so we went for it.

Told ex about it (as I said, his mum contributed) about 3 months ago ... just heard he bought DD and her to stepsisters a Windows desktop (DD insists Apple is superior ... no idea why) to share, and now he insists Macbook doesn't go when she goes to his tomorrow, because the stepsisters are going to be miffed if they have to play on the desktop and she gets her own. He expects me to say that I don't want this thing going to his house, which is simply not true ... he doesn't want it there because his wife and the stepkids would obviously get upset.

I think that if he doesn't want it there, then HE should tell DD and give her the reasons why ... and not make me look like the mean cow who doesn't allow presents to be taken to the other house. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's necessary either, but why do I have to look like the b*tch from hell all the time, when it's him and his wife who have got an issue?

Managed to talk her out of it without telling her the truth ... by the time he pulled up yesterday early in the morning she had completely forgotten about it. I buckled her into her carseat and off she went! ;-)